The Life and Times of Buck Willmington
by PsychedelicCowgirl
Summary: Women have always been important to Buck, particularly his first love, his mother. Story will follow Buck's life starting with his childhood.
1. Prologue

Ida Wilmington ran her hands along the slight bump in her midsection and cursed softly. She's spent the last few weeks in denial telling herself that this wasn't possible, then she'd just done her best to ignore it as though the whole thing might simply go away, but the truth was this was real and she wouldn't be able to hid it much longer. Soon she would have to tell Rita, and that wasn't something she was looking forward to. It was bad enough when she'd had to return to town and ask Rita for her job back. She didn't want to have to deliver this news as well. With a grunt of frustration she jerked up her dressing grown and hid the bulge once again. How could she have been so stupid as to let this happen?

Ida wasn't new to this life, she been in business since she was seventeen and she'd never had so much as a scare about something like this. Throughout the years she'd always been a little critical of girls who found themselves in the position she was now in. After all, there were ways to keep this from happening, and she'd always prided herself on being careful. She'd always been sure she was the girl who would never find herself carrying an unwanted child and yet her she was. In a little over five months, she would be giving birth and if the situation wasn't terrible enough in and of itself, she would be giving birth to Jack Horton's child.

She knew that, as inconvenient as this was, it was the fact that Jack had done this that she hated the most. Ida wasn't some mooney eyed girl, she been doing this for nearly ten years now and she'd seen all kinds; she should have known what Jack really was. And she had, if she were completely honest with herself, she had known, she had merely ignored what her head told her because...because she loved him. That was the worst part; that was why she hadn't been careful, because just a few short months ago she wouldn't have cared that she was pregnant with Jack's baby. A few short months ago she had foolishly let herself believe the man had changed, that he would stay this time. But now, Jack was gone again and she left with this reminder of how stupid she'd been.

* * *

It was nearly a week after Ida admitted her situation to herself that she found herself in Rita's office, ready to tell the madam about her problem. Every day her mistake became more obvious and if she didn't confess now, Rita would likely guess on her own, and Ida didn't want that to happen. For several minutes, she sat quietly, unable the force the words out.

"Ida," Rita prompted. "There was something you wanted to talk about."

Ida took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," she blurted out bitterly.

The madam looked at her in silence for a moment before nodding. "In this business sometimes things happen." Ida scoffed. "What are you going to do about it?" Rita continued.

Ida paused. Of all the people Ida had worked for over the years, Rita was the best. She was the only one who had ever acted like she cared about the girls working for her, and although Ida had known Rita would accept the news she had taken it better than expected. In fact, she'd accepted it so well Ida wondered if Rita hadn't already suspected her condition. Not that Rita's reaction really mattered, it wouldn't change anything. And Ida didn't know what she was going to do. "I – I don't know. I suppose when the time comes, I'll . . . find someone to take it."

"Then you don't want it?"

Ida's eyes flashed. "No! It's Jack's and . . . " She shook her head. "No! No, I don't."

"I understand."

Ida sighed. "I suppose, well, I suppose I'll be leaving today." She placed a hand on her abdomen, scowling when she felt it rise beneath her hand.

A look of surprise crossed Rita's face at the deceleration. "Leaving? If you don't want to keep it why would you leave?"

Ida snorted with disgust. "I can't work like this," she said motioning to her stomach. "I won't bed someone while I'm swollen with another man's child."

"I understand that as well, but that doesn't mean you have to leave. You can do other work around her until it's time. You won't have to see any of the costumers if you don't wish to and afterward, well, there's no reason for you to not resume taking clients."

Ida stared at the older woman. "You would be willing to do that for me? For me to stay away until this is over?"

Rita reached over and placed her hand over Ida's. "This is a difficult situation, Ida. You shouldn't have to lose your home and friends because of it. Besides, you're one of my best. Maybe it's selfish of me but I don't want to see you go."

Ida looked down and thought seriously about what her employer had said. She didn't particularly want to leave the Palace; outside of Jack, her life had been good here. "It won't be born until the summer. It will still be several months before I can work again."

"Don't worry about it. As I said, we'll work it out. Just think about yourself and get through this."

Ida's hand went back to her stomach. She still couldn't believe how stupid she'd been but maybe this wouldn't be as terrible as she'd first thought.


	2. Buck

**A/N: I put a T rating on this story because there will be mentions of prostitution. I don't plan on anything explicate and I may be a tad paranoid but Buck's mother was a prostitute and he did grow up in a brothel so I'm playing it safe.**

Ida inhaled deeply as she felt the muscles in her stomach start to tighten again. For the moment they weren't painful, just uncomfortable. About an hour ago she had realized what the cramps she'd been feeling actually were, and although she was dreading what was to come she couldn't help but feel relieved as well. She was almost done; soon her baby would be born. No! This was not her baby and she wouldn't let herself think that way. Soon this horrible journey would be over; that was how she had to think. Just a little longer and she would be done with this.

Six hours later any doubts Ida might have had that it was time for the baby to come had been erased. Discomfort had deserted her some time ago; it was pain now, and pain unlike any she'd ever felt before. Why any woman would willingly choose to do this, especially more than once, was beyond her.

Groaning, Ida gripped Rita's hand, while Rita rubbed her back. The woman had been with her since the midwife had been sent for, encouraging her and trying to provide some relief from the pain. Ida appreciated the woman's presence there wasn't any relief to be had. Would this never end?

"Breathe, Ida," Rita reminded her. "It will be easier if you breathe."

Ida was trying to breathe but that was something that was easier said than done. Yes, the midwife had told her to breathe through the pains, she'd also told her to relax, which was nearly impossible. She had also insisted that all this was natural, but as far as Ida could tell there was nothing even remotely natural about any of this. If she could get her hands on Jack right now, she would kill him, and gladly. Still, just a little longer and this would be over. A little longer and she could put all this behind her and move on with her life. Another pain started to grow and Ida latched on to Rita's hand with a death grip. She could move on with her life if she lived that long.

* * *

A cry filled the room as Ida collapsed on the bed, panting, her legs trembling from the effort she'd just exerted. It was finally over. After all these long months, she could at last move past this mistake.

"It's a boy. Would you like to see you son?"

Ida warily opened her eyes at the midwife's question. Her son? Is that what he was? And did she want to see him? All these months she had forced herself to think of the baby as an inconvenience, a mistake that she couldn't be rid of fast enough, but now . . . after all she just endured to bring him into the world it seemed wrong not to see him at least once. It must have been a rhetorical question, however, because before she could reply the midwife brought the baby over and placed him on her chest.

Pushing herself up some more, Ida looked down to the baby, and her breath stopped. She'd never see anything so incredible. He was beautiful. In absolute awe, Ida stroked his cheek. This was her son. No. Ida had to beat back the idea again. This wasn't her son. This was a baby she would soon send away. But even if she would give him away soon, he had come from her, it was only natural she'd feel some connection to him. Wasn't it? She looked over to Rita. "Have you ever seen anything like this?"

"Ida," Rita said quietly. "Perhaps it would be better if you didn't hold him. It might be easier."

Easier? What did that mean? Ida bit her lip as understanding dawned on her. It would be easier to give him up. Maybe Rita was right. Maybe she shouldn't be doing this. For all the months she'd carried him it had never occurred to Ida that she should keep the baby, or even that she would want to, but now that he was in her arms . . . she never experienced anything quite like this before. The thought of simply passing him off, knowing she would never see him again, never know what his life turned out to be; suddenly the prospect was far more difficult than she'd thought it would be. "What-what are you going to do with him?"

"Take him to the church. The minister should be able to find someone to take him. If not, they can send him to the home in St. Louis."

Ida felt her eyes well up. Giving him up had been the plan from the beginning, but it seemed so cold now. The midwife came back over and Ida tightened her grip on her son when the woman reached for him. "No," she gasped, her voice bordering on panic. She wasn't ready yet.

The midwife gave her a strange look. "He needs to be cleaned up, dear. You both do. It won't take but a moment and you can see him again as soon as I'm done."

Nodding Ida relinquished her baby, the tears escaping as she watched the midwife start to bathe him. She hadn't wanted the woman to carry him across the room. How would she be able to stand watching Rita carry him away for good?

"Ida?"

Ida turned to Rita. "He's beautiful," she said, choking back a sob.

Rita glanced over to where the midwife was cleaning the baby, when she turned back to Ida there was sympathy in her eyes. "It's your choice."

Ida didn't answer. She just watched as the woman finished with her baby and returned him with a smile. Ida readily took him, filling more at ease as soon as he was nestled back against her chest. Her common sense was telling her she was making a mistake by not passing him off the Rita immediately and forgetting that the past few minutes had ever happened. Quickly, she silenced the inner voice, focusing only on her son. Lightly she ran her fingers across his dark hair, chuckling when he began to fidget.

Rita watched the young woman for a moment before she spoke again. "Ida, you don't have to do it if you don't want to."

The words stopped Ida. She had to do what was best for her son, and yes, he was her son. She couldn't deny it and she no longer wanted to. But could she raise a child? She was a prostitute. What did she know about being a mother? Would she be able to provide for him and give him a good home? On the other hand, if she gave him to Rita right now, what would she be sending him to? There was no guarantee he would be taken in by anyone who would love him. And if he was sent to St. Louis what would happen to him? Plenty of orphans never found homes; others were simply taken in by farmers for cheap labor. She couldn't knowingly send him off to that. She wasn't the best, Ida knew that, but she would love him. Suddenly he opened his eyes fully and looked up at her, his mother. The sight of those beautiful blue eyes pierced her heart, and Ida knew what she had to do.

"Ida?"Rita gently prodded.

Ida never took her eyes off her son. She shook her head as she began stroking his cheek with her finger. "I can't. I'm sorry but I can't. I can't let him go."

* * *

Ida sighed contentedly as she sat down and brought her son to her breast. It had been a little over a month since she'd given birth and she was amazed to find she was falling more in love with her son every day. Things weren't easy but she'd known when she made the decision to keep her baby things wouldn't be easy. She's known being a mother would be hard, and she'd known that her profession would undoubtedly provide unique challenges down the road, but not once had she regretted her choice. There were still times when the unpleasant thoughts of what kind of mother she would be, or doubts about being able to able to raise her son up into a decent man would come to her, but she never let herself dwell on those thoughts. She would do the best she could by him and that was all any mother could really do.

Ida felt a smile come to her face as she watched her son suckle, trying to remember her life before Buck had been a part of it. There were many things in her life Ida had no reason to be proud of and many things she regretted, but her son wasn't one of them. In fact, her little Buck was the best _mistake_ she'd ever made. And Ida was certain that if she had known then what she knew now, he was a _mistake_ she'd gladly make all over again.


	3. Trouble

Buck ran as fast as his four-year-old legs could carry him, sliding to a stop only when the wall prevented him from going farther. Jerking open the door closest to him he darted into the room, ducking down behind the first thing he saw, a high-backed chair.

"Buck!"

He winced when he heard his mother calling him and moved closer to the chair as though he might be able to disappear into its fabric. It had been an accident.

"Buck Wilmington, what are you doing in here?"

Gasping Buck jerked his head up and found Miss Rita standing over him a stern look on her face. "Ummm..." Before he could think of a good excuse his mother called out again and both he and Rita looked to the door. "Please don't tell her where I am." He pleaded when the woman turned back to him.

Rita fought back a smile and knelt in front of him. Buck had proven long ago he had a penchant for trouble and a talent for being difficult to find when he took the notion. "What offense is she hunting you for today?"

"I didn't do anything." At Rita's skeptical look Buck amended his defense. "Well, I might have spilled some of Miss Jeanie perfume.

"You might have?"

"I did."

"Because you were in the back?" Buck's shamed-face look was all the response she needed.

Besides the large barroom, the Crystal Palace had two types of rooms, the back rooms downstairs where clients were met and the girl's private rooms, which the average customer would never see. And it was a well established rule, understood by all at the Palace, that under normal circumstances Ida Wilmington's son was not to be in the back rooms. Judging by his actions now, permission had not been given. Ida's voice rang through the house again and Buck flinched.

"Please don't tell her."

Rita smiled and pushed his dark hair out of his eyes. "You know she won't be as angry if she doesn't have to look for you? And you can't hide forever."

"I didn't mean to."

"Then tell her that."

"She'll still be mad." Buck pouted.

"Buck…" Rita was cut off when the door was thrown open again and Jeanie rushed in.

"Rita, have you seen…oh." The younger woman stopped when she saw Buck on the floor.

"Are you mad?" Bucked cried, suddenly looking like he was about to burst in to tears.

Rita shook her head; it didn't matter if Jeanie had been mad before she wouldn't be able to stay that way, not with Buck having that pitiful look on his face. Ida was about the only person who could remain firm with the boy for more than five minutes.

As predicted, any anger the girl might have had dissolved under Buck's almost teary gaze and she was immediately on the floor beside him. "No, I'm not mad. Accidents happen. I know you didn't mean to."

Rita left the two of them and quickly found Ida still searching for her son. Catching Ida's eye, Rita gave a slight nod toward her room. Sighing, Ida mouthed a thank you to her boss as she went by.

The past few years had gone by faster than Ida could have ever imagined and, as she had suspected, there were challenges. But surprisingly, most of these hadn't come in the way she'd expected. Ida had assumed that caring for an infant would be a daunting task, and it had been, but it had proven to be the least difficult part of raising a child. Living in a house full of woman had its advantages and when Buck had been a baby there had always been someone willing to look after him when his mother had needed a break and as he'd grown that hadn't changed; Buck, however, had.

There wasn't a girl at the Palace including Rita who wasn't wrapped around Buck's finger, but the older he'd gotten the less Buck had consented to being looked after and before long he had become an expert at slipping away from whoever had charge over him and finding ways to amuse himself. It was at that point that Ida had encountered her first real problem. There were things that went on at the Palace that Buck was far too young to understand, things Ida didn't want to have to try and explain just yet. She wanted Buck to be shielded from the rather sordid aspects of brothels as long as he could but unfortunately, Buck wasn't always good about doing exactly what he was told.

As she entered Rita's room, Ida saw Buck sitting on the floor with Jeanie. The girl's arms were wrapped protectively around him, but she got to her feet when she saw Ida. Buck also jumped up, clutching Jeanie's skirts. Ida stopped a few feet from them and crossed her arms. "You have some explaining to do young man."

"I didn't mean to."

Ida assumed he was talking about the perfume but that wasn't what was concerning her the most at the moment. "And what were you doing in the back?" Ida asked kneeling down to his level.

Buck bit his lip. "Ummmm..."

"That's what I thought. Buck, how many times have I told you're not to go back there?"

"A lot." Buck offered.

Ida's face became stern and Buck looked to Jeanie for help trying to move closer to her. The younger woman put her arm around him again. "Ida, please don't be mad at him. It was an accident." Buck smiled his appreciation at her defense.

"An accident that wouldn't have happened if someone had been doing what they were supposed to be doing." Ida told her. The second problem Ida had discovered was how hard it was to maintain discipline when Buck had so many allies. Not that she could blame anyone for spoiling Buck, he was a charmer, and if she wasn't his mother she was sure she'd be as guilty of being just as lax with him as everyone else.

Jeanie looked to the boy clinging to her and back at Ida. "Please, Ida." She said quietly. "It doesn't matter. It was cheap anyway; more for the cowboys than me."

Buck meanwhile had latched on to Jeanie with both arms, guilt all over his face. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Ida sighed as she looked between the pleading looks of her son and her young co-worker. After a moment she held out a hand to Buck. "Come here, Buck."

"Where are we going?" Buck asked, taking a few very small, timid steps in her direction.

"Back to our room. I want to talk you." Buck became even more miserable looking, if that were possible, but Ida was pleased that he obeyed.

Once they were back in their room Ida set down and pulled Buck on to her lap. "Buck I've told you many times not to go behind the bar haven't I?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you go back there? It makes me very unhappy when you do things I've told you not to do."

Buck suddenly looked as though she had just delivered devastating news to him. "I didn't mean to make you unhappy." He said, his eyes tearing up in earnest. "I just wanted to see. And I didn't mean to spill Miss Jeanie's perfume."

Ida held him tightly, resting her chin on the top of his head. Buck was a sensitive child, it was a trait she'd recognized in him very early, and it took so little for his young heart to break. And despite he's talent for finding trouble he did try his best to be good. "I'm not angry about the perfume. I know it was an accident, so does Jeanie. I'm upset because you were in the back."

The forbidden rooms would be enticing to a young boy, Ida understood that, and she believed Buck's remorse was real but she felt his disobedience needed to be addressed. She kissed the top of his head. "Buck." Buck looked up. "I told you not to go back there, didn't I?"

"Yes." Buck's voice was little more than a whisper.

"And you went anyway." Buck looked back down. "Because you disobeyed I don't want you to leave the room again today. You're to stay in here until bed tonight."

Buck grimaced. Having to stay in wouldn't make for a very fun afternoon. "But..."

"Buck."

Buck hears the warning in his mother's voice. "Yes, ma'am."

"I love you." Ida told him, giving him another hug.

"Love you."

She kissed his head. "I'm going out now. Remember, stay in the room."

Buck nodded as she set him on the bed. She was almost out the door when Buck stopped her. "What about supper?"

Ida turned, almost amused by the look of horror on Buck's face. "I'll bring you something before bed, all right?"

"All right." After answering Buck heaved a sigh and flopped back on the bed to wait out what was sure to be a very long and dull afternoon.

Ida smiled as she turned away. Words couldn't begin to express how much she loved Buck. He was often a handful but he was the single best thing in her life.

**A/N: It's been nearly three weeks since I published this story and I sorry for the wait on the update. Soon after getting this story up my muse went AWOL, which was extremely frustrating because the last of weeks I've had tons of time to write and inspiration. It did give me the chance to go back and re-watch the entire series though. Anyway, she seems to be back and hopefully she'll stick around for a while. Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated. If there's anything you want to see let me know and I'll do by best to work it in.**


	4. Deputy Parker

Buck strode down the boardwalk with absolute purpose. Today, Mama was letting him go to general store all by himself to pick up a package for Miss Rita, and it was a job he was taking very seriously. The Miller's store was only a few streets over, and he'd been lots of times, but this was the first time he'd been allowed to go alone and he was determined to fulfill his duty perfectly. Not just because he wanted to impress Miss Rita but also to show Mama that six, in eight days, was plenty big enough to things on his own.

For his entire walk Buck never strayed from the boardwalk, he didn't even talk to anyone unless they spoke to him first. Normally if he'd been out playing or even if he'd been out with Mama would have wanted to walk through the alleys or make several stops en route, but he didn't do that today. Mama had been very plain before he left that he was to go to the store and come right back home without making any stops in between and Buck had already made up his mind that today he would obey to the letter.

Arriving at the general store, Buck pushed through the door and went up to the front counter. "Good afternoon, Mr. Miller."

Mr. Miller smiled down at Buck. "Afternoon, Buck. What can I do for you today?"

Buck had known Mr. Miller his entire life and he liked coming to his store, although the licorice the man always gave him probably had as much to do with Buck's fondness for this this store as the man himself. "Miss Rita sent me to get a package for her." He told the store owner, standing as tall as he could and trying to sound grown up, even though he could barely see over the counter.

"All righty. I don't see your mother today. Did you come alone?"

"Yes, Sir." Buck answered proudly. "I'm six now, almost, so Mama let me come by myself."

The man chuckled. "Well, six is close to grown I reckon. Rita's package is in the back. Just a minute." Before going into the back room the store owner took the jar of licorice from the counter and offered it to Buck, who gladly accepted the candy with a grin. As the storekeeper disappeared into the back Buck leaned against the counter, contentedly chewing on the confection.

It didn't take long for Mr. Miller to reappear carrying two packages. Buck wasn't quite done with his candy but shoved the rest of it in his month when he saw the man. He wasn't loafing today, even to finish the licorice. Mama had told him to come straight home, so as soon as Mr. Miller gave him the package he was leaving. Miller walked around the counter studying the two wrapped parcels and finally handed the smaller one to Buck.

"There was one for Lilly back there as well, but as you're here be yourself today I guess it will wait." He said, setting the larger one aside.

Buck hastily chewed the remaining licorice as he eyed the other parcel thoughtfully. It wasn't that big. And it wasn't that far back home. "I can get it." He declared after swallowing.

The store owner looked up from where he'd been writing and raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? That's an armload to carry back."

Buck nodded emphatically. "I'm sure. I can do it. It's not too far back home."

Smiling the man retrieved the other bundle and passed it to Buck. "Are you sure you can carry them all the way home?" He asked, watching Buck struggle with the load for the smallest bit.

Neither package was heavy but carrying both of them was a bit awkward and it took Buck a moment to get settled. Still, he was determined he would deliver them both. "I'm sure." He affirmed with a smile.

"Well, one of the marks of a fine man is that he does more work than is expected of him." The older man said as he opened the door for his young patron.

"Good-bye, Mr. Miller. Thank you!" Buck called as he started back down the boardwalk towards home.

If Buck had been intent on his walk to the store he was even more so on the way home. He now had parcels for both Miss Rita and Lilly and it was a responsibility he didn't take lightly. He also now had to keep hold of his deliveries which wasn't a simple thing for the young boy. The problem was he was so focused on getting home that he was caught off guard when one of the shop doors suddenly swung out and a burly man darted out promptly colliding with Buck.

Buck stumbled back with a grunt as he hit the large man causing both him and the packages to fall to the boardwalk. He looked up, about to protest when his words were cut off by a glare from the bearded, heavy-set man, a boat or a dock worker, river rats some of the girls called them, by the looks of him. "Why don't you watch were you're going, whelp?" The man demanded.

Buck stared up at the imposing man with wide eyes. "I'm sorry." He hadn't done anything wrong but the apology came automatically as the man glowered down at him.

"Stupid kids." The man huffed. He had turned to stalk off when another voice joined their discussion.

"You make knocking kids to the ground a daily habit, mister?"

Buck slowly got to his feet, keeping his eyes on the newcomer. He was younger and cleaner than the dock worker. Clean shaven and dressed nicer too, he looked more like a man who might come to the Palace than a river rat.

The big man sighed heavily and aimed his glare at the newcomer. "He yours?"

The younger man shook his head. "No."

"Then it ain't none of your concern." The river rat shot back.

"Oh, I think is." The man on the street said quietly. He sifted ever so slightly and suddenly the expression on the other's face changed.

"No need to get worked up over it." The rat's tone was now far more amiable. "I mean accidents happen, don't they? Didn't mean nothing by it. 'Sides he's all right, ain't you kid?"

Buck looked between the two men who were both watching him intently. Buck nodded slightly and then focused hard on the newcomer trying to spot whatever it was that had made the river rat so accommodating. He couldn't see anything.

"Now" The newcomer continued. "I realize you're probably a very busy man with a lot to do but I think you could at least take time to apologize to the boy."

"Sorry, kid." The burly man mumbled.

"Hope you didn't strain yourself too much. Now move along."

As the man made a quick getaway, Buck's rescuer came over and picked up the packages that had been dropped earlier. "You all right, boy?"

"Uh-huh. I'm fine."

"Hope you don't have a lot of those encounters."

"Nope. Most people like me."

The man laughed. "I'm sure they do."

He looked down at the burden Buck had been carrying. "This is quite a load for a boy your size."

"I can do it." Buck replied, slightly offended. "I'm already six and I'm not so small. I'm gonna be going to school soon."

"Is that a fact? Well, I reckon you're a pretty good size for six at that."

Grinning Buck stuck his hand out to the man. "My name's Buck Wilmington."

"John Parker. It's a pleasure, Buck." He reached for Buck's hand, but instead of shaking it he turned it palm up. "You sure you're all right?"

Buck looked down and saw the large abrasion on his palm for the first time as Parker began to gently examine his hand. Now that he was aware of it, it was starting to string a little bit but Buck stood quietly until the man found a particularly tender spot. Hissing Buck tried to jerk his hand back.

Parker winched at the boy's reaction. "Sorry 'bout that. Looks like you got a splinter in there." He said, releasing Buck's hand.

Buck took to studying his hand trying to see the splinter Parker had found. He ran his thumb along his palm, wincing when he felt the sliver of wood embedded in it. "Why don't you come over to my office and let me clean that up for you." Parker suggested.

"What office?"

"The sheriff's office."

Buck's eyes narrowed. "You're not the sheriff." Mr. Cranford was the sheriff and Buck had heard enough about Mr. Cranford from the girls at home to know this was't him.

"No, I'm not. I'm a deputy.

Buck had never met a deputy before. "Is that why that river rat turned tail?"

Parker laughed. "I guess if you call that turning tail. You want to get that hand cleaned up?"

Buck shrugged. "I suppose so."

* * *

Several minutes later Buck was perched tensely on a desk in the sheriff's office while Parker stood over his hand, extracting the splinter as gently as he could.

"Ow!" Buck cried, feeling the needle poke him again.

"Sorry." It wasn't the first time the apology had been made. "You know, it probably wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't look at it." Parker muttered, shifting some so Buck's view was mostly blocked.

Buck knew that was probably true, at least that's what Mama told him every time she had to doctor him but he just couldn't keep his eyes off what the man was doing. Craning his neck Buck looked around Parker's shoulder and bite down on his bottom lip, whimpering only a little bit when he felt the needle again.

Soon Parker relaxed his grip on Buck's wrist and held up the tiny piece of wood that had been the problem. "Sorry if I hurt you, son, but I couldn't leave it in there."

Buck didn't mind, now that the ordeal was over. "That's all right. You were almost as good as Mama. And lots better than Rose."

Parker didn't know who Rose was but it sounded like a compliment. "That's gratifying. Let me put some of this on there and it will almost be as good as new."

Buck gave the bottle the deputy held a wary look. Whatever was in that bottle would sting. The stuff in bottles always did, but Buck begrudgingly held his hand out anyway.

"This is gonna hurt a little bit."

"Mama blows on it." Buck told the man hastily.

Parker paused. "Huh?"

"When it stings, Mama blows on it."

Parker nodded. Taking a rag he dabbed at Buck's small injury. Once again he was as easy as he could be but he still felt Buck tense as soon the antiseptic touched the abrasion. Hearing another whimper escape, Parker began to blow on the boy's palm, stopping only when he sensed Buck relax some. "Feel better?"

Buck nodded with a smile. "Yes, sir."

Returning the smile, Parker starting to pick up the supplies he'd used to patch Buck up and put them away.

"Is this Mr. Cranford's desk?" Buck asked.

"It is."

"Do you think he's as useless as tits on a boar hog?"

Parker started at the choice of words and turned back to the boy. "What? Where'd you hear talk like that?"

"That's what Miss Liza says about him. And Jeanie says he couldn't tell his rear end from a hole in the ground if he had two tries." Most of what Buck had heard the girls say about the sheriff wasn't very flattering.

Parker did his best not to smile. This kid was a card and he had some pretty accurate descriptions of the sheriff but Parker wasn't sure he should encourage Buck's phraseology. "Well, maybe you shouldn't repeat any of that. Not sure everyone would appreciate the comparisons."

"Yes, sir."

Parker went back to his task, still trying to fight back a grin at Buck's unintentional, but very fitting, slurs against his boss when he heard Buck gasp.

"I have to go!" Buck cried, jumping down from the desk. "Mama said I had to come right back home after I saw Mr. Miller, and that I couldn't make any stops." He looked to Parker, distress plain in his blue eyes. "And now she's probably worried and she won't want let me go to the store alone anymore."

"If you tell her want happened I'm sure she'll understand." Parker told him, trying to calm him down.

"She doesn't always think I'm telling the truth." Buck sighed.

One of Parker's eyebrows went up. "_Do_ you always tell the truth?"

"Yes. Well, most of the time I always tell the truth."

Parker snorted a laugh. "How about if walk home with you. If she doesn't believe you I can vouch for you."

"What's vouch mean?"

"It means I'll tell her you're telling the truth."

Buck flashed an infectious grin, all worry vanishing from his face. "She'll have to believe a deputy won't she?."

Buck kept up a steady stream of conversation as he and Parker they made their way toward the Palace. He only stopped his chattering when Parker put a hand to his shoulder.

"Where do you live, Buck?" As they had walked Parker had started to notice they were entering the rather unsavory said of town and that almost every building they passed was some kind of saloon or dance hall. When they passed the first building with red-glassed lanterns hanging out in front, he really started to wonder about their location. The boy must have gotten turned around when they'd left the sheriff's office.

"Down there." Buck said, pointing down the street.

"You live on this street?" Buck nodded. "Are you sure?"

Buck looked around at the familiar buildings he walked by countless time in his life. "Yes, sir. We're almost there."

"Buck, I uhhh, I don't think there is anything but saloons on this street."

Buck nodded again. "That's right. We live at the Palace."

"The Palace?" Parker asked, unable to hide his surprise. He was fairly new in town, only arriving about four months ago, and was still learning all the ins and outs of the town but he'd heard of the Palace. From what he'd picked up since he'd started wearing a badge a few weeks ago, the Crystal Palace was not the average brothel. The price for a girl there was high, some of them ridiculously so, and if a girl there decided she didn't want a particular man, odds were good that he wouldn't get her. Something that was unheard of in your run-of-the-mill whorehouse. Still, while the Palace was a high end brothel, it was still a brothel and Buck lived there. Than again, a lot of things Buck had said today, like the many women he'd made mention of and his somewhat crass descriptions about the sheriff made a lot more sense in light of this new knowledge.

"Well, actually it's the Crystal Palace but everybody calls it the Palace." Buck stated very matter-of-factly.

Parker looked down at the boy who was gazing up at him innocently and swallowed back his shock. He doubted Buck was old enough to understand that his life was radically different than most children and Parker sure wasn't going to be the one to tell him otherwise. "Well," He said with a smile. "Let's get you home."

Buck needed no farther encouragement. "Come on, Mr. Parker." He more or less ran the rest of the way home.

* * *

Ida was anxiously waiting in the barroom. Buck had been gone too long and she had feared sending him off after Rita's package alone would end up like this. He had promised to return home as soon as he finished at the store and although his promise had been made with absolute sincerity Buck was so easily distracted by things. There was no telling what had happened between here and the Miller's store to make Buck forget about his pledge. Ida gave the clock across the room a worried glace. If he wasn't back in five minutes and then she was going to look for him.

Just then she heard the door slam. "Mama!"

Jumping up she ran into the foyer. "Buck, are you all right?" She asked, worry crowding out anger. At least until she assured herself he was in one piece.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Then where have you been? I told you to go straight to the store and come straight back."

"I did. Well, I tried to. It wasn't my fault."

"That's the truth, Ma'am."

Ida noticed the man who had come in with Buck for the first time. "And you are?"

"This is Mr. Parker." Buck supplied. "He's here to…what are you gonna do for me?"

Parker chuckled. "Vouch for you."

"Yeah, he's gonna vouch for me 'cause I told him you might not believe me."

"I might not believe what?" Ida looked between her son and Parker waiting for one of them to expound on what had happened to delay Buck.

"I was coming home like I was supposed to and this River Rat knocked me down." Buck held up his skinned palm as proof.

"Knocked you down!?" Ida was immediately on her knees studying Buck's hand.

"It was unintentional but he wasn't exactly civilized about trying to make amends." Parker added.

"But Mr. Parker made him apologize and then he took care of my hand. There was a splinter in it too but he got it out. That's why I was late."

Ida looked at Buck's hand closely. It seemed his mysterious new friend had done a thorough job of cleaning it. "Well, in that case, I'm certainly grateful to Mr. Parker for his help." Getting to her feet once more Ida gave the man a smile which he returned with a nod. "Buck, I'd like a word with Mr. Parker. Why don't take Rita's package to her. She's been waiting for it."

"I got one for Lilly too."

"I'm sure she'll be glad to heat that."

Parker handed the parcels to Buck who ran off, eager to finish the job he'd started earlier. Ida smiled as she watched him hurry off then turned her attention back to Parker. "I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced. Ida Wilmington." She offered her hand which Parker kissed lightly, momentary unsettling her. It had been some time since Ida had met a man with manners like that.

"John Parker. It's a pleasure, Miss Wilmington."

"I want you to know I'm truly grateful for any help you gave him today, Mr. Parker."

"John. And it wasn't anything much, just doing my job."

"Your job?"

"Yes, Ma'am. _Deputy_ John Parker."

"Ah, that answers few questions. I hope he didn't cause you any trouble today. He can be something of a handful."

"Not at all. He made for entertaining company."

"He's certainly that."

An awkward silence fell between them and Ida wondered where the conversation should go. She was saved from having to force things when Parker cleared his throat. "I should probably be moving on. It was a pleasure, Ma'am."

"The pleasure was mine. Thank you, again."

"Anytime. Would you mind telling Buck good-bye for me?"

"Of course."

With a final nod Parker left. Ida stood in the foyer a moment contemplating the man who had just left and marveling at the fact that in the five minutes he'd been with her he hadn't directed any leers or innuendos her way. Definitely the type of man she didn't meet often. Smiling she returned to the barroom.

It wasn't long before Buck joined her. "Did you get your deliveries made?" Buck nodded once and Ida couldn't help but notice he seemed serious all of a sudden. "How's your hand?"

"Fine." He said, holding it out for her to see again. "I like Mr. Parker." He told her while see looked at his hand. "Do you?"

"Well, we don't really know Mr. Parker, Buck, we've only just met him. But he seems like a nice man."

"Do you think we'll ever see him again?"

"I'm sure we will, sooner or later."

At those words Buck almost immediately brightened. "That's Good. Can I go play?"

"As long as you're back in time for supper."

Buck was off like a flash again. Ida sighed as she watched him go. He had liked the man. So much so that he'd been upset by the thought of not seeing him again and that Ida's mere words of affirmation that she thought another meeting would take place that had cheered him. She only hoped that meeting Deputy John Parker today wouldn't be the cause of any problems down the road.

**A/N: So sorry for the delay. This chapter did not want to be written :/ Hope you enjoy, feel free to tell me what you think. Thanks for reading and a big thanks to those who reveiwed the last chapter. One final thing, when I started writing this story I had planned on it taking place in Kansas but after some planning I've decided to shift east just a bit to Missouri and I'll be doing some reediting to fix any previous references I have made to Kansas. **


	5. Tough Questions part 1

For the Wilmington's the summer came and passed without any great incidents. Life for Ida and Buck went on in much the same way that it had for the past six years, until it was time for Buck to begin school. The problem with school was that it wasn't an idea that Buck found particularly appealing. He liked the way things had always been just fine and saw no reason for anything to change. The thought of having to give up his days of, more or less, absolute freedom so he could spend several hours of every day inside a schoolhouse was one that made no sense to Buck and he'd informed Ida of this after his first day. Unfortunately for him, the adults in his life didn't follow his reasoning and he'd had to go back the next day. By the end of the first week, Buck was convinced he'd learned all he would ever need to know and once again made an appeal to be allowed to give up on his schooling. That attempt hadn't been met with any more success than his first one had. However, by the end of the second week Buck had become mostly adjusted to his new routine and his protests about attending all but ended.

The teacher, Mr. Ludlow, was a skinny, thin-faced man who talked through his nose but Buck liked him well enough, and he thought Mr. Ludlow liked him too. He hadn't been yelled at like most of the other boys had anyway, which Buck considered an accomplishment. He was doing fairly well on his lessons too. He understood most of the first time they were explained and Mr. Ludlow had even complimented him on how neat his writing already was. As for the other pupils, Buck had no complaints. Most of the older boys treated him with indifference, which Buck really didn't mind, and the girls, both the older ones and the ones his own age, loved him. All in all things were going well for him, until one day, without any noticeable cause; his protests had started once more.

One morning Buck got up early and crawled into his mother's bed. "Do I have to go to school today?" He asked, snuggling up next to her.

"Buck." Ida sighed. School had been in session a little over a month now and everyday for the past week Buck had asked that question. In the beginning she hadn't given much thought to Buck's dislike school. Naturally, the change from spending his days playing to having to attend lessons was an adjustment but she was beginning to think that this time there was more to it than that, especially since things had been going so well for him just a couple of weeks ago. "Why don't you want to go? Are you having problems?" It wasn't the first time she'd asked him the question.

"No. I just don't need to go." It wasn't the first time Buck had given that response either.

"You know you can tell me anything, don't you? If something's bothering you I'd like to know what it is."

Buck looked at her for several long seconds before sliding off the bed without saying anything else. Ida was now certain something wrong. Buck had always had a cherry disposition and seeing him so quiet now was concerning. Sliding out of the bed, Ida went over to her son. "Buck, are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me?"

Buck nodded slowly, his blue eyes serious. Turning away he started to get dressed.

Ida watched him sadly, her heart heavy. She didn't like Buck's silence but if he wasn't ready to talk she wouldn't force him. Not yet, anyway.

Ida had been hoping that things would begin improve for Buck again but after two more days he seemed more withdrawn and sullen than ever. She had almost decided that it was time to force Buck to talk to her. It wasn't what she wanted to do, she would much rather him open up on his own, but she knew he couldn't continue the way he was. That night as she tucked him in she made one last appeal to get him to talk. Once again Buck mumbled that nothing was wrong. As Ida kissed his head she made up her mind that tomorrow she would have to make Buck talk. It still wasn't an idea she liked but leaving him to suffer in silence wasn't an option.

* * *

"Mama?"

Ida was pulled from her sleep by a pitiful sounding voice that immediately had her on the alert. "Buck? What's wrong?" She could just make out the outline of Buck as he stood by the bed.

"I don't feel good." He muttered, crawling up into the bed next to her.

Ida put a hand to his head. "How do you not feel good?" She asked after she didn't find him feverish.

"My tummy hurts."

"Do you feel like you're going to be sick?" Ida asked, hoping that wasn't the case. She hated to see her baby sick.

"I don't know. Yes."

Easing herself away from Buck, Ida lit the lamp by her bed and retrieved the chamber pot in case Buck needed it before snuggling back up with him. "How long have you felt bad?" Buck just shrugged. Ida grimaced and pulled him closer.

For several minutes they set in silence, and then Buck spoke up. "Why don't I have a pa?"

Ida was stunned speechless for a moment. She hadn't been expecting that. Ida had known the question would come one day and she thought long and hard about how to answer it, only she'd never been able to come up with an answer that sounded good. "What do you mean?" She asked after finding her voice.

"Why don't I have a pa? Everybody at school does. Except the Raines, their papa's dead. Is my pa dead?"

Ida suddenly had the feeling she knew what some of Buck's problems at school were about. "You do have one." She finally answered slowly. "He just doesn't live with us."

"Why?"

"Because, we didn't know each other very long and he thought he would be happier living somewhere else."

Buck took a moment to digest that. "Why doesn't anyone else's pa live somewhere else?"

Ida leaned her head over on Buck's wondering how she could explain the situation to him. At this point in time Buck couldn't understand all the details of her and Jack's relationship or the fact that they were better off without him around. "I don't know, Buck. I don't know how their families are. What I do know," She said lightening her voice. "Is that I love you very, very much. And I'm very happy I get to be your mama."

"Is he ever gonna come back?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart." She hoped not. Not that she could, or would, tell Buck that.

"What's his name?"

Ida softly sighed, ready for this discussion to end. Besides she couldn't see how it would hurt to tell Buck a little something. "His name is Jack."

"Jack." Buck smiled as he leaned against her again, feeling pleased. Now he could go to school and tell Matt Patterson that he _did_ have a pa.

Ida watched Buck, noting that he looked far less ill than he had just a little while ago. "Do you still feel sick?"

Buck shook his head. "No."

That answer only served to confirm her suspicions about Buck's trouble at school. "Buck, have you been having difficulties at school because your father doesn't live with us?" Buck started to fiddle with the blanket. "Buck?"

"Well, Matt said everybody's supposed to have a pa but then Maggie told him everybody don't, she don't 'cause he died, but I do have a pa so it's alright now."

"Is that all?"

Buck seemed to think about her question just a little too long. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

Again there was a brief hesitation before Buck nodded. "Yes."

Ida wasn't satisfied but as he had told her _something_ and seemed more ease, she decided to hold off on pressing the issue.

By the time Buck left that morning, Ida was relieved to see that he seemed in better spirits than he had in weeks. Seeing him rush out the door with a smile on his face gave her hope that her easy-going little boy was returning to his care free self and as a result Ida also found herself feeling less anxious. But she did still felt a bit of apprehension about how things would go for him while at school and she looked forward to seeing him come home that afternoon, only Buck didn't return at his usual time. Ida wasn't terribly concerned at first, there was always the possibility of Buck being distracted by something or other on his way home, but after more than an hour without any sign of him worry began to set in.

Everyone in the saloons and dance halls around the Crystal Palace knew Buck and after that first hour Ida started to ask around. After receiving negative answers to all her inquiries her anxiety started to grow. Still she tried to maintain a positive attitude. Just because Buck was late didn't mean anything was wrong, but as sullen as he had been lately Ida found that she couldn't quite shake the disastrous thoughts that kept coming to mind. And by dusk, with still no sign of him, panic had set in and the sheriff was sent for.

* * *

Ida was in the kitchen with Rita, nearly hysterical, as they waited for the sheriff. Ida could tell the madam was just as worried as she was but thankful the older woman was able to keep things a bit more. "What could have happened to him?"

Rita squeezed her hand. "I'm sure he's fine."

"But shouldn't we be doing something? We're just sitting here and…" Ida stopped as a sob broke through.

"Ida, you've done everything you can so far. Now as soon as the sheriff gets here…"

"As though the man has done any real sheriff's work since he's been in office."

"We'll find him, Ida. One way or the other, we will find him. Knowing Buck he's hiding somewhere too afraid to come home now that he's been gone this long."

Ida tried to smile. She had thought about similar scenarios all afternoon and even though she was almost eaten up with worry she hoped it was something that simple.

Just then the door to the kitchen opened and Liza stepped in. "Ida, the sheriff's here."

Ida whirled around but instead of Sheriff Cranford, it was Deputy Parker with the girl. Ida felt a wave of relief come over her. She hadn't seen much of the man since Buck's run in with the river rat, only a few brief meetings around town, but that one incident alone had been enough to show her the man's abilities as a lawman far surpassed those of Cranford's.

Parker removed his hat. "Miss Wilmington. Miss Evens tells me you got a problem with your boy."

"He didn't come home from school today! I've asked around to everyone I could think of. No one seen him and…" Ida could feel her hysteria rising again.

"Alright just try to relax." Taking her arm Parker led her over to the small table. "You have a seat and tell me about it."

Ida blew out a shuddering breath and tried to collect her thoughts as the man took the chair opposite her. "I know you're probably thinking something terrible has happened but chances are he just ran off somewhere." Parker continued. "Has he been acting unusual lately, given any indication he might what to try and get away for a while?"

"I think he's been having some trouble at school. He hasn't told me anything but he hasn't wanted to go the last several days. But he seemed better today. Why would he run off!?" Tears sprung back to her eyes. She was a terrible mother. She should have something was wrong. She should have done more to find out what had been bothering Buck.

"Miss Wilmington, sometimes there's not a lot of accounting for what a boy does. I remember running off a couple of times myself for no good reason." He gave her a smile but his words were of little comfort to Ida. "You said you've talked to most of the folks around here?"

Ida nodded warily. "Yes, all the saloons, the store, no one had seen him."

"Alright is there anywhere he likes to go? Maybe someplace he likes to be by himself?"

"No I don't think so. He…" Ida stopped suddenly earning her curious looks from Rita and the deputy. "The river. He's always liked to go to the river. We go over there often and he not supposed to go by himself but…oh, God, please." She jerked her gaze to Rita. "What if something has happened?"

Rita took her hand again. "Ida, don't start thinking like that. He's a smart kid."

Parker jumped up. "Miss Wilmington, Miss Monroe, please excuse me."

"Where are you going?" Rita asked.

"The river. It's as good a place as any to start."

**A/N: First: I'm so sorry about the long wait between updates. Things have been kind of crazy for me the last couple of weeks but hopefully they'll start to slow down some and I can do better. Secondly: As I was revising this chapter I realized it was really long so I'm posting it in two parts. Part two will be posted either tomorrow (or latter today really as it's 1 a.m. here) or the next day. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope it was worth the wait. As always, thank you for reading, your continued support is what keeps me writing, and reviews are welcome, helpful, and appreciated. **


	6. Tough Questions part 2

Buck didn't know what time it was and he didn't know where he was. All he knew was he was tried, cold, hungry, and ready for someone to find him. He hadn't meant to end up lost; that was just the way it had happened and right now he wished he could just go home.

Today hadn't been a good day for him, despite the way it had started. Matt Patterson had found new ways of being particularly mean today and by the time school was over Buck hadn't really wanted to go straight home so he'd come down to the river instead. He wasn't supposed to come down here alone but as he hadn't planned to get very near the water he'd decided it would be okay just this once. And as it turned out he hadn't got close to the water at all. By the time he'd made the walk, the woods bordering the river had looked far more interesting to him, so he'd started to explore. The next thing he'd known, it was getting dark and he wasn't sure how to get back out.

At first he'd tried to find his way. He'd looked for any paths or trails that might be around but he hadn't been able to find any signs at all. Finally deciding that wouldn't work he'd just started walking, hoping to find something. He'd walked until it had gotten too dark to see then he'd just set down. Now he set huddled at the base of a tree, dejected and alone. This afternoon he wasn't sure he'd wanted to go home, but now he wished more than anything that's where he was.

As he set there Buck tried to forget about the fact it was getting cooler out, and the fact that he hadn't had any supper and that it was dark, he thought about Mama instead. Did she miss him yet? Would she be very mad when he saw her again? Would he see her again? Would anyone look for him or would he be out here forever? What if he died out here? And all those questions lead him straight back to today's encounter with Matt Patterson.

Matt Patterson hadn't started school when everyone else had, he had been sick or something, but from the moment he walked through the door of the little schoolhouse two weeks ago, the boy had seemed intent on making Buck's life miserable. It hadn't taken he long to find out that Ida worked at the Crystal Palace and the moment he had, his torment of Buck had became relentless.

Matt's favorite way of making Buck suffer came from pointing out at every possible chance that Buck didn't have a daddy. This had been a pretty effective method until the day Maggie Raines had stood up for him because she didn't have a daddy either. Buck had been grateful for what the girl had done but it had only deterred Matt a little. Today, however, he had thought that today he was going to shut Matt up once and for all by telling him what Mama had said about his pa, which he had proudly done during morning recess and to Buck's immense relief it had worked. Until Lunch anyway. That was when Matt had come up with a new way to strike out at Buck with a single word Buck had never heard before, bastard.

Tears filled Buck's eyes as he thought back to what Matt had said today, the words that had driven him out here in the first place. He wondered if what the boy had said was true. Did Mama really not want him? Would she be glad if he never came back? As much as he wanted to go home he didn't want to go if Mama didn't want him there.

Buck had just about decided that no one was going to come looking for him and he'd likely have to spend the rest of his life here when he thought he heard someone call his name. He jerked his head up wondering who it was. It wasn't Mama. "I'm here." He answered when the voice called out again.

"Buck?"

The voice was getting closer and Buck jumped to his feet. "Over here."

The exchange occurred once or twice more before Buck saw a horse and rider emerging out of the darkness, and a man Buck finally recognized as Deputy Parker dismounted. "Buck, what are you doing out here?"

Buck rushed from his spot by the tree and threw his arms around the man. Somebody had missed him. "I didn't think anybody would ever find me."

When Buck released him, Parker knelt down, removing his jacket as he did so. "What were you doing?" He asked again, wrapping the jacket around Buck's shoulders. "Your mama's been worried sick about you. Afraid something happened to you."

"I didn't mean to get lost." Buck told him earnestly. "I – I just didn't want to have to go home right away, so I came here and then I couldn't get back and I thought I was gonna have to stay out here."

"Alright. It's alright. I'm going to get you back home and everything will be okay."

Matt's words suddenly came back to Buck. And going back home would mean he would have to go to school again tomorrow. "I don't want to go back." Buck mumbled, taking a step back.

"Back where? Home?" Parker inquired in confusion. Granted he didn't know Ms. Wilmington that well but he had always been under the impression she and Buck had a very good relationship. They had always seemed very happy when he'd seen them together; he couldn't imagine Buck not wanting to return to her.

"No. I don't want…" Buck stopped and looked away. He did want to go home, if Mama really wanted him that was. But he didn't want to go back to school; or rather he didn't want to see Matt Patterson again.

"Buck, what's going on?"

"Nothin'." Tears started to come to his eyes again.

Buck started to turn away but Parker stopped him with a hand on his sleeve. "Buck, is there something you need to tell me?

Buck opened his mouth and quickly closed it again, giving a slight shake of his head.

Buck silence was causing a very uneasy feeling to grow in Parker. "Has anything ever happened at home? Anyone ever hurt you? Your mama or one of the girls?" It almost turned Parker's stomach to even ask the question. The woman he'd left a little while ago had been a nervous wreck; she didn't strike him as the kind to abuse a child but if the boy was having trouble at home someone needed to know about it.

"What do you mean?"

There was innocence in that question, enough to tell Parker that he'd been dead wrong. "Well, what I meant was has she ever gotten angry and hit you or something like that."

"Like a spanking?"

"No. More like slapping."

"That's not nice to say!"

"You're right." Parker told him sincerely. "It's not nice to say and I'm sorry, but I had to ask. Sometimes mas and pas ain't as nice to their boys as your mama is you."

"My mama wouldn't do that." Buck said, still looking at him skeptically.

"I know. I'm sorry I asked. Your mama's a fine woman. Who, I might add, is very concerned about you. Are you ready to go home now?"

Any remaining anger that had been in Buck after the slight to his mother vanished, turmoil taking its place. "She's gonna me go back."

"Back where?" Parker couldn't help but be confused by the boy's ever shifting emotions.

"To school."

"That's because she cares about you, Buck. Schooling important. You don't want to grow up ignorant do you?"

"No, sir. But I don't want to go to school neither."

"Why is that?" Ida had said something about Buck having some trouble, and there had to be an underlying reason for Buck's moodiness. Surely just attending lessons didn't have him this worked up. Seeing Buck shift uncomfortably again, Parker tried a different approach. "You know, Buck, part of being a deputy is helping folks with their problems. If you tell me about it I might be able to help you."

"If I tell you, will you promise not to tell Mama?" Buck asked.

"I'm sorry, Buck. I can't do that. I can't keep it a secret if it's something your Mama needs to know."

Buck looked away.

"But I'll make a deal with you." Parker added. It was plain he wasn't going to get anything out of the boy without some kind of assurance. "I won't tell her unless I think it's important that she knows."

Sighing heavily Buck finally broke. "What's a bastard?"

Parker cleared his throat. "Where did you hear that?"

The tears were back. "Today Matt Patterson said I was a bastard. He said nobody wants a bastard, which means Mama don't want me. And then he said mama don't really know my pa's name."

"Now, Buck, you know that ain't true. Your mama loves you a lot. She's been ate up with worry since you been gone, afraid something had happened to you. She can't wait for you to come home."

"Really?"

"Really. She's waiting for me to bring you back now."

Buck thought about that. "But does she know my pa's name?"

Parker thought carefully about his answer. Ida worked in a brothel, maybe she knew who had fathered her child and maybe she didn't, but it wasn't his place to make a claim to Buck one way or the other. "What did your mama tell you?"

"She said his name was Jack."

"Has she ever lied to you before?"

Buck wiped at his eyes. "No, sir."

Parker smiled. "Alright, then I suggest you listen to your mama and you don't pay any attention to what Matt Patterson says. And don't you ever believe for a second your mama doesn't want you. She wants you more than anything, and right now she's missing you a lot."

The faintest of smiles came to Buck's face. "I guess we should go home than, huh?"

Parker nodded. "I think so."

* * *

Buck was quiet for most of the ride back to the Crystal Palace, too worn out physically and emotionally to keep up his normal chatter with the deputy. He perked up some once he was back with his mother, especially once he saw she was glad to see him, but his exhaustion was obvious and Ida soon took him upstairs to bed.

Ida couldn't begin to describe her relief as she tucked Buck in. The past few hours had been a living nightmare that she never wanted to have to go through again. She knew Buck was tried and she wasn't going to dig into all the particulars about exactly why he had run off, she wasn't feeling up to that talk yet herself, but she thought a couple of questions needed to be answered tonight. Buck still seemed a little uneasy and she wondered if it had more to do with the trouble he was afraid he was in or the reason he'd gone off to start with.

Sitting on the edge of his small bed, Ida began to rub his hair back. "You know you're not supposed to go to the river by yourself."

"I know."

"What were you doing there?" Ida sighed when a shrug was the only answer she received. "Buck, this is becoming a real problem. You have to tell me what's wrong."

Buck seemed to consider that, finally cutting his eyes away from her. "I went cause I didn't know if you wanted me or not."

Ida could hardly believe what she'd just heard. "You didn't know if I wanted you?" Buck nodded miserably. Reaching down she pulled him into a hug, her heart breaking at the earnestness she heard in the simple statement. "Buck, you're the best man in my life. Why wouldn't I want you?"

"Because I'm a bastard."

Ida jerked away, looking into his teary eyes in disbelief. "A…who told you that?

"A boy at school. He also said you didn't really know pa's name."

"Oh, Buck, that's not true. I want you very much. More than anything else in this world."

"Do you know pa's name?"

That was a topic Ida was more reluctant to discuss. "Yes, Buck. We talked about this. I told you about your father and I told why he doesn't live with us."

Buck smiled slightly. "That's what Mr. Parker told me."

"Did he? What exactly did he say?" She wasn't sure how she felt about the deputy talking with Buck about his father.

"That you really did want me to come home and you didn't lie about Daddy's name."

Ida's curiosity wasn't quite satisfied but the comments seemed innocent enough. "Well, he's absolutely right. Now, why don't you go to sleep? We'll talk about it more in the morning."

Buck snuggled back down in his bed, already looking like he was almost asleep.

Ida tucked the quilts back in around him. "I don't ever what you doubt that I want you or that I love you very much."

"Mama?" Buck mumbled sleepily.

"What?"

"Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"

Maybe it was the pure relief she felt at Buck being back where he belonged but Ida couldn't help but smile at the question. "No. I think you can stay home tomorrow."

Turning down the lamp Ida stood in the darkness for a moment just watching Buck; she didn't try to stop the few tears that escaped as she stood there. Finally telling herself once more that Buck was fine she quietly left the room. She wanted to talk to the deputy before he left and as he had already spent most of the night looking for Buck she didn't want to keep him any longer than necessary. The man had looked pretty worn out himself when he'd brought Buck home and she imagined he was more than ready to go back to wherever home was.

Ida's eyes were still bright with tears when she joined Parker in the again. "I'll never be able to thank you enough for finding him." She said, returning the jacket Buck had been wearing. "He means the world to me. I don't know what I'd do without him."

Parker shrugged. "I'm just glad I could do something. No mama should have to know what it feels like to lose her boy."

Ida smiled as she dried her eyes. "It's something I hope I never have to feel again."

"So do I." Parker nodded towards the stairs. "He's good kid. You should be proud of him."

"Thank you, I am. And while I admit I may be a bit prejudiced in the matter, I wholeheartedly agree with you."

"No. From what I've seen, you've done a fine job with him."

Ida felt a flush come to her face. It wasn't often she heard genuine sounding compliments. "I've done what I can."

"Miss Wilmington, I wonder if I could ask you something?"

Ida nodded her consent. "Of course. And it's just Ida."

"Ida. I uhh…I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds, but Buck's father…I know it's really none of my business…" Parker trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"No it's not." Ida replied, bluntly. The man probably assumed Buck's father was unknown, which was an easy enough scenario to believe. Many of the girls who had come since Buck had been born believed the same thing and Ida was willing to let them. It was just easier. Sometimes she actually wished that were the case. Still, the man had done her two great favors concerning Buck and she supposed she could give some kind of answer. Although she wished this sudden obsession with Jack would die down sooner rather than later. "Buck's father…is not part of his life. He never has been, he never will be, and we are both better off for it."

Parker nodded slowly, carefully considering his next words. From what he had seen Buck had as good a mother as a boy could hope for but judging from his words tonight, the boy was looking for a father too. Even if he didn't know it. "I don't mean to offend you, ma'am, as I said you've done a mighty fine job, but if you should ever need a man for any reason, I want you to know you're free to call on me."

Ida raised her eyebrows. A man was the last thing she needed. "If I should ever need a man?"

A rather amusing, at least in Ida's opinion, blush colored the deputy's face. "For Buck." He hastily added. "If you ever need a man to take him hunting, fishing, just talk to him…" Clearing his throat Parker began studying the floor.

"You would do that?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Ida thought about the man's offer. It was tempting. She did her best with Buck but as he had gotten older she had realized there were simply things she wasn't capable of teaching him. On the other hand, she hadn't known the deputy long and had only had a few actual conversations with the man, why should he be willing to offer her any assistance?

"And why should you be willing to do that, Mr. Parker?" Ida asked. She knew there was an edge to her voice but she couldn't help it. In her more than thirty years of life she hadn't had too much experience with people doing things solely out of the goodness of their hearts, particularly men, and in her line of work men often had ulterior motives.

"I think a boy deserves to have a man in his life. I don't mean any disrespect but there's only so much a woman can teach. Sometimes a boy just needs another boy."

"Then this is strictly in the interest of helping Buck?" That wasn't what she'd been expecting, but he looked sincere. Perhaps, for once, a man wasn't looking for anything else.

"Yes, Ma'am." Parker was starting to wonder if he'd made a mistake. After all, he really hadn't known either one that long, and he supposed Buck's upbringing really wasn't his concern.

Ida studied the man silently for a minute, trying to wrap her mind around the fact someone simply did want to help. "I'm sorry if I seemed short before. No one has ever been interested in Buck solely for Buck's sake. And my price is quite high."

"I understand, but I assure you, my offer had nothing to do with your price. As I said, he's a good kid."

"Then thank you, Mr. Parker. I'll keep that in mind."

"John. And please do, I did mean it."

"Thank you, John."

"You are quite welcome." Parker tipped his hat. "Goodnight. And tell Buck to try and stay out of trouble for a couple of days."

Ida chuckled. "I'll tell him but I wouldn't expect too much to come from it."

After John left Ida returned to her room, and found that Buck had made his way over to her bed. She smiled, it had been more than two years since Buck had moved to his own bed and he only sleep in hers on rare occasions. It seemed his ordeal tonight must have freighted him more than he originally wanted to admit, not that she would complain about having him close by tonight.

When she slipped into the bed Buck inched closer to her and for several minutes she lay there softly stroking his hair and thinking about the deputy's offer. From what she'd seen, John Parker was a good man, better than most she'd known it the past anyway, and she didn't think she would mind her son imitating a man like that. Perhaps she could call on him to spend some time with Buck; she didn't see how it could hurt anything anyway. And maybe a talk about staying out of trouble would have more of an impact coming from a man. Ida laughed softly, that part seemed unlikely. But, nothing would change tonight one way or the other, so she put Deputy Parker and his offer out of her mind content to just focus on her son for the time being.

**A/N: Finally getting it up. Enjoy :) Thanks for reading!**


	7. Being a Man

Buck trudged along the boardwalk on the way home from school, once again in no hurry to get there. It wasn't Matt Patterson's ridicule that slowed his steps today however; it was the note in his pocket, from Mr. Ludlow to Ida Wilmington, which weighed him down. He wasn't sure what all was written in the letter he'd been told to deliver, it was sealed and even if it wasn't he wouldn't have been able to read most of it, but based on what had happened today, he didn't think it was anything Mama would be happy about. In fact, he had a feeling his mother would be downright unhappy about what Mr. Ludlow had written.

The closer he got to home, the slower Buck found himself going, even though he was already late. He was absolutely dreading having to tell Mama about what had happened today. He knew there was going to be trouble because of it and while he knew he probably deserved to be in a little bit of trouble, he couldn't help but feel Matt had had it coming and he would be lying to say he regretted what he'd done. But that still didn't mean he was in any hurry to explain what had happened and he couldn't help but feel relieved when he saw a familiar figure seated outside the sheriff's office. He often talked to Mr. Parker on the way home from school when the man was available but today more than ever, Buck was glad to have a reason to stop.

"Hi, Mr. Parker." He called hurrying over to the man.

The deputy smiled when he saw Buck. "Hey, Buck. How's school today?"

Buck gave a noncommittal shrug as he hopped into the chair next to the deputy. He hoped Mr. Parker wouldn't ask too many questions. "It was alright."

"Any trouble with Matt Patterson, today?"

Buck's face clouded some. "Not much." He didn't want to reveal anything about the note in his pocket or the events that had lead up to his teacher writing it out.

"Really?" The deputy had raised an eyebrow and Buck had the sinking feeling the man knew something was up. "Well" Buck started slowly. "He didn't say anything he ain't said before." As the months had gone by, school had improved somewhat for Buck. Since getting lost the story of his trouble with Patterson had slowly come out in its entirety and his mother had been none too happy about what he'd told her. Once she found out about the extent of Patterson's bullying she had set about to change it. After a couple of meetings with Mr. Ludlow Buck had noticed a slight change in Patterson's treatment of him. He was still the boy's first choice as a victim, but most days he kept his ridicule to a minimum and Buck had found that as long as he stayed close to his teacher or one of the older boys his days were not terrible.

Things had gotten even better when he'd met Del Givens. Del had come to school after Christmas and was a couple of years older than the now seven-year-old Buck, but he was really the only friend Buck had and had proven to be a great help in keeping Patterson's taunts at bay. Beyond his help with Patterson though, Buck really liked playing with Del, even though sometimes Del did things that Mama didn't really like. Actually, Del had kind of been responsible for the note that was now setting like a rock in Buck's pocket.

Parker nodded. "Anything else happen today?" He asked casually. He had sensed something wasn't quite right as soon as Buck had set down and the longer the boy was there the stronger that feeling got. Coupling that feeling with Buck's unusual tardiness, Parker knew something was going on.

Buck studied the man next to him trying to gauge if Parker knew something about what had happened. "Nope." He finally answered in an upbeat tone, sitting back in his chair.

"Good." Parker cut his eyes sideways to watch Buck, who had become very interested in his shoes. Something was eating the boy alive; guilt was now plainly written all over his face.

Buck set quietly for a while before heaving a heavy sigh and turning agonized eyes on the deputy. "Mr. Parker, something happened today."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I punched Matt Patterson."

"You punched him?" Buck nodded miserably. "Is that why you're late today?"

Again Buck nodded as he pulled the note out of his pocket and passed it to the deputy. "Mr. Ludlow made me stay after and he told me I had to give that to Mama. She's gonna to be so mad."

Parker looked at the envelope a moment before giving it back to Buck. "No, I don't imagine she'll be too happy. What happened?"

"I did what Del told me to do. I stood up for myself."

"How's that?"

"Well, last week Matt started talking 'bout my mama's job again. He said ladies don't work in saloons."

Parker grimaced at that. He had learned that Ida's work had been one of the main ways Matt struck out at Buck. He doubted either boy as of yet really understood what Ida's work actually was but Buck understandably took any slights to his mother very personally, and it seemed Matt knew enough to make more than his fair share of snide remarks.

"Then he said his pa said Mama was a hussy and Del said that wasn't good thing to be." Buck continued. "And Del told me I shouldn't let Matt talk that way about Mama and if it was his ma then the next time Matt opened his mouth he'd punch him in the face."

"And that's what you did."

"Yeah. And you know what, Mr. Parker?"

"What?"

A sneaky smile came to Buck's face. "I kinda liked it. And Matt didn't say nothing else to me the rest of the day." The smile vanished as his brows furrowed. "I did get in trouble with Mr. Ludlow though. And Mama said if I got in trouble at school there'd be trouble at home." His previous sigh was echoed. "What am I gonna do?"

Parker gave him a sympathetic look. "I don't reckon there's much you can do, Buck, except to own up to what you did like a man."

"I don't wanna be a man." Buck mumbled. Picking up the envelope addressed to his mother again, Buck gave it a hard look. "What do you think it says?"

"I wouldn't know. I expect it gonna tell your Mama about what happened today."

"I can tell her what happened. What if I just don't give it to her and…"

"Buck." Parker cut in putting an extra edge of authority in his voice. Ida didn't seem to mind the time Buck spent around him but she had never officially accepted his offer to help out either so he tried to be careful with what he told the boy and what advice he offered. In the case of Buck trying to hide things from his mother however, Parker felt confident in his right to offer a reprimand.

"I know." Buck scowled. "It wasn't my fault though."

"Well, whose fault was it?" Parker got up from his seat and knelt down it front of Buck's. "Listen, Buck, I don't know what Mr. Ludlow wrote to you mama and I don't how your mama going to feel about what happened. But I do know that it's not going to do you any good to try and hide it or to try and shift the blame. The best thing you can do is go home tell your mama exactly what happened and accept whatever the consequences may be."

"Like a man?" Buck asked after mulling over the deputy's words.

"Yep."

"I still don't want to be a man."

* * *

Buck would have been content to stay at the sheriff's office for the rest of the evening but it wasn't long before Parker sent him home, telling him Ida would start to worry if he wasn't home soon. Buck knew the man was right, and he was already pretty late, but that reasoning didn't help him make the walk any faster than he had before talking with the deputy.

When he got in sight of the Palace, Buck slipped around into the alley and entered the back way as quietly as he could. This time of the afternoon everyone would be getting ready for the night ahead and he was hoping they would all be too busy to notice he had come in. If he was lucky Mama might even be in the barroom already and he wouldn't see her at all. Then he wouldn't have to worry about telling her about his fight, and not seeing her wasn't same as trying to hide it from her. Right?

Feeling confident in his newly concocted plan to avoid his mother Buck cautiously peaked into the foyer. He could hear voices coming from the barroom but he didn't see anyone around, which wasn't surprising. There might be a few customers already but it was still too early for there to be many. Taking a deep breath rushed out the door and ran up the stairs having to pull up short when he almost collided with Rose, nearly tripping them both up.

Buck flinched when he saw Rose grab for the banister. The last thing he needed was to make Rose fall down the stairs. "Sorry."

"That's alright." She assured him as she straightened her skirts. "Where have you been this afternoon? Ida's been looking for you."

"She has?"

"Uh-huh." She planted a kiss on the top of his head before bouncing the rest of the way down the stairs.

Buck gave a worried look up the stairs. If she had been looking for him already there was no chance he would be able to get by with not seeing her tonight. Forcing himself to go on up to their room, Buck slowly pushed open the door and peered inside, hoping that somehow Mama wouldn't be there. If she wasn't that would mean she'd already gone downstairs, and even if she had been looking for him she wouldn't want him to go to the barroom to find her. Unfortunately, she was there, putting on the last of her make-up. She turned when he entered.

"Buck, where have you been? You should have been home over an hour ago."

Buck shut the door and leaned against it, his feeling of dread growing. He opened his mouth and quickly closed it. Parker had advised him to just get it over with but Buck couldn't force the words out just yet. "You're so pretty." He finally answered when Ida got up from the vanity and came over.

Ida gave him a look. "Thank you."

"I like your dress. Is it new?"

Ida glanced down at the purple dress she wore; certain Buck had seen it many times. "No, it's not." Leaning down she gave him a kiss. "Where have you been?" Buck hedging her question the first time she'd asked was a sure sign he'd been up to something he wasn't supposed to.

"I stopped by and saw Mr. Parker."

"For nearly two hours?" Her suspicions were rising by the second. Buck was usually very forthcoming with information, unless he had something to hide, and the fact that he did was obvious. While he did often stop and talk to the deputy on the way home his visits were typically short. John Parker did have a job to do and didn't often have endless time to spend with Buck during working hours.

Buck didn't answer her but he didn't have to. She could see there was something he desperately wanted to get off his chest, and that telling her was the last thing he wanted to do. "Did something happen at school?" She asked, her thoughts immediately going to Buck's previous trouble with the Patterson boy. Initially, she had been heartbroken to learn of the extent of Patterson's bullying, then heartbreak had given way to anger that her son had been subjected to such cruel taunting at his age. She had been pleased that over the last few months the trouble between the boys had seemed to dissipate, at least during school hours, which if Matt Patterson was anything like his father Ida figured that was about as much as she could hope for. Now she couldn't help but fear that the boy had found a renewed bravado for teasing Buck.

At Buck's restless shifting Ida dropped down in front of him. "Buck?"

Buck's eyes fell. "Maybe."

"Did Matt do something?"

Buck looked away. Just like Parker Mama knew something was wrong and he couldn't hide it any longer. "No. I did."

"What?"

"I – I punched him."

Ida's mouth dropped open. "Punched him!?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Why?"

Buck took a deep breath. Hoping his mother would be at least a little understanding of his reasoning. "I was standin' up for myself. It's what Del told me to do."

Ida closed her eyes, sighing. Del. At first she'd been glad to hear Buck had found a friend close to his age, especially since Del's parents didn't seem to really mind their son associating with the son of a prostitute, but she was beginning to wonder if Del wasn't a bad influence on Buck. Lately Buck had started getting into the habit of following Del in whatever he did, regardless of whether he should or not. "What did he tell you to do?"

"To stand up for myself. Matt said his pa said you was a hussy and then Del said if Matt had said that about his ma he'd punch him in the face. So, today when Matt said you wasn't a lady, I punched him."

"Oh, Buck." Ida warily stood. How was she supposed to deal with this? She didn't want to tell Buck _not_ to stand up for himself. This may not have been an occasion when it was actually necessary but the last thing she wanted to do was give Buck the impression that he shouldn't defend himself if need be. But she certainly couldn't endorse him initiating fights either.

Buck watched his mother. She didn't seem angry so maybe he wasn't going to be in as much trouble as he feared, but she hadn't seen the note yet either. "I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to but…. Are you mad?"

"No, Buck. I'm – I'm not mad I'm…" Ida paused, rubbing her temples. What was she? Fighting at school was a serious issue and she knew she should reprimand Buck someway, but honestly she just wasn't that upset with him for taking a swing at the boy who had made his life so miserable the last few months. She finally set on the edge of the bed. "Come here, Buck."

Buck felt that knot in his stomach grow as he slowly crossed the room. When he reached his mother she took his hands in her own and looked into his eyes. "Buck, did you hit Matt just because Del said you should?"

"I guess. I know it's against the rules but I don't like him saying bad stuff about you, or being mean to me. It's not fair!"

She put her arms around him, leaning her head against his own. "No it's not. I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. You shouldn't have to." Maybe Buck had broken the rules by starting a fight today but Ida couldn't bring herself to punish him for his actions, not this time, not based on what he had told her. She pulled back. "What did Mr. Ludlow do to you afterwards?"

"Not much. I had to stand in the corner for the last lesson and he made me stay after and clean up."

She was pleased that the man seemed to have shown some discretion concerning the situation. "And that's why you were late getting home?"

Buck nodded then took to studying the floor. He supposed now was the time to give Mr. Ludlow's note. He pulled the envelope from his pocket and offered it to Ida, eyes still downcast. He really wished he knew what the man had said. "Mr. Ludlow told me to give this to you too."

Ida glanced down at the envelope in her hand. She was curious as to what the man had said but she didn't really have time for his letter at the moment. She would be expected to be downstairs soon and she was more concerned with settling things with her son then anything his teacher had to say.  
"Buck, I want you to listen to me. I'm not mad at you for what you did. I wish you hadn't of done it and I don't approve of you starting fights, with anyone, but I understand why you did do it. I know Matt has been giving you a very hard time and I hope that that will stop soon, but you can't just punch people because you feel like it, and certainly not because Del Givens told you to. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, Ma'am. But he didn't say nothing else to me today."

Ida couldn't help but smile some at the innocence in his last statement. "I'm glad." She would never tell Buck but she sincerely hoped that this would prove to be the end of Buck and Matt's feud. She was also hoping that Buck's smile was a sign he was feeling better about what had happened today, although she had a feeling part of that was a result of no punishment being mentioned. She still wasn't certain what she was going to do on that front but it was something she was going to have to give a lot more thought to, and it would probably be best to read the teacher's note beforehand too.

"We need to talk more about this but I'll need to be downstairs soon so, what I want you to do is think about what happened today and what I said, and tomorrow, before you go to school, we'll finish."

"Yes, ma'am."

The next morning before Buck left for school Ida set down with him again. After work last night she had finally taken the time to read the note from Ludlow and had been pleased to find the man had been on Buck's side, as much as his position as teacher would allow anyway. Like her, he had been of the opinion that even though Buck had started the fight he had been justified in his actions, at least somewhat. Before she had gone to bed she had written out a reply for Buck to return, thanking him for his handling of the situation and assuring him he could expect that there would be no farther trouble.

"Did you think about what I said last night?" She asked, putting an arm around him.

"Yes."

"And you know what you did was wrong?"

Buck thought back to what Mr. Parker had said yesterday about not shifting blame. "Yes." He finally admitted.

"I want you to know I did a lot of thinking last night too. And I decided that this time we're going to let what happened go. Just this time. I don't want to hear about you starting another fight at school, no matter what Matt or anybody else to you. And I don't want you doing things just because Del tells you to. Understand?"

"I guess."

"You guess?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Ida smiled. "Good. Now there's just one more thing; I want you to apologize to Matt today."

Buck whirled, eyes wide. "What?"

"I want you to apologize to Matt for what happened yesterday."

"Why?"

"Because I said to." Ida had known Buck would object but looking at him she believed she had actually just unintentionally handed out the most horrific punishment imaginable, at least in Buck's eyes. "I know you had your reasons and I understand them, but you've already admitted you were wrong and I want you to apologize."

Buck slumped down. Apologize to Matt Patterson. He would rather Mama do anything to him but make him do that, and he wasn't sorry. He was sorry he'd upset Mama, and he was sorry he'd got in trouble at school, but he wasn't sorry he'd punched Matt. He'd do it again if he had to. "I'm not sorry."

"Fine. But I want you to tell him anyway."

He sighed. "Is this part of being a man?"

"What?" Ida asked in confusion.

"Mr. Parker told me yesterday that I had to face what I did like a man. This what he meant?"

Ida smiled. "Mr. Parker told you that?" Buck nodded.

Ida hadn't given much thought to Parker's offer since the night he'd brought Buck home. She honestly did appreciate it and she didn't mind the time Buck spent with him in the afternoon, but she simply didn't feel quite right calling on him. And as Buck had been doing better since his trouble at school had come out she felt it best to leave the man's offer where it was. Perhaps she should rethink her reasoning however; he was obviously good for Buck. "Yes, I think this is exactly what he meant.

* * *

The day was nearly torturous for Buck, the apprehension of making the promised apology putting him in a foul mood. Finally at the late recess, with Del at his back, Buck choked out the words he would have rather taken a beating then say. He mumbled out the words in front Mr. Ludlow just to avoid any trouble with the other boy, which worked but Buck was sure he would never be able look Matt in the eye again after he'd had to humiliate himself. The only consolation he had was that Mr. Ludlow made sure Matt accepted the apology civilly but Buck was pretty sure he'd rather have his pride intact. Still once the deed was done Buck did feel like a weight had been lifted off him and he was in a much more agreeable mood when he went home.

Once again, he stopped by the sheriff's office on the way home and Parker could immediately tell Buck was in a far better spirits today than he had been the day before. As they set on the boardwalk together Buck told him all about the talks he'd had with Ida and the apology she forced him to make, and finally the terrible moment when he'd actually had to make it.

"Mama said that me having to 'pologize was part of what you meant about being a man."

Parker shrugged. "Well, I didn't mean that specifically, but things like that, yes."

"You know what I decided?"

"What?"

Buck eyes were serious when he met the deputy's gaze. "I don't like being a man."

Parker chuckled. "Well, it's not always fun but there's a lot more to it than making unwanted apologizes, and it's all not as hard as that is."

"Things like what?"

"Too much to tell you about today."

Buck wouldn't be put off so easily that his curiosity was up. "But you could tell me some today and some tomorrow and some the next day."

"I suppose so."

"Will you?"

Parker turned to look at the boy who had so easily wormed his way into the lawman's affections. Buck was staring at him, his blue eyes hopeful and pleading and Parker was sure he wouldn't have been able to say no if he wanted to. "It'll be my pleasure."

**A/N: The fates were against me while trying to get this chapter up and I'm not a hundred percent pleased with it but I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading and for your support, tell me what you think if you want to:) And Millie2077 keep an eye out for the next chapter, which is mostly already written, it's for you. Till next time.**


	8. Mud and Baths

**A/N: This chapter came from a prompt that Millie2077 sent me shortly after I started working on this story. She wanted to see a chapter where a young Buck is forced to take a bath, so here it is. I hope it meets your expectations :) Especially since you have waited so patiently to get it. There is disciplinary spanking in it so if that bothers you, I'm sorry.**

If Ida had learned anything over the last seven years it was that motherhood was a journey of ups and downs, and the last two days had definitely been downs. As a general rule Buck was well behaved, obedient, and loving making Ida's job fairly easy most days, but lately she had noticed he had been getting a bit more argumentative. This new character trait was made even more obvious by the almost constant rain that had been falling for almost three days making it nearly impossible for Buck to go outside. With school out of session and more than two days of being confined to just the kitchen, their own small room, and the barroom he was left irritable, defiant, and driving Ida mad.

It was the fact that he was driving his mother crazy that found Buck once again it their room late afternoon on the third day. He had been driven out of the barroom after making one too many whiny or snappy remarks and as it was nearing time for the girls to start getting ready for the night he'd been sent upstairs. So, he just set by the window, extremely bored and wishing more than anything the rain would stop. After almost a half-hour of sitting and watching Buck began to notice the rain slow and finally stop.

For several minutes Buck remained by the window hoping it wouldn't start up again. Buck's hope got stronger with every passing moment and when the sun at long last broke through the clouds his hope became certainty. With a cry of excitement he jumped up and run downstairs.

"Can I go out and play with Del?" He asked, sliding to a stop in front of Ida. "It stopped raining."

Ida's first thought was to say no. Taking in to account the surly attitude he'd had all day she couldn't help but think letting him go out with a friend would be doing nothing more than rewarding his earlier bad behavior. In the end however, it was that attitude that finally made her give in. The day had been tense but she was hoping that giving Buck a chance to blow off a little steam would put him in better spirits. "As long as you're back before sundown. I want you in the bed before I start work."

Buck didn't have to be told twice. A grin broke out on his face. "Thanks, Mama. I'll be back."

Buck ran out of the Palace and over to Del's as fast as he could, paying little attention to the puddles covering the street or the mud that was being kicked up on his pants. When he got to the Givin's place Del's mother was just as willing to see her son out of the house and Ida had been, and the two boys were soon on their way.

"What are we going do?" Buck asked as he and Del walked along.

"Let's go down to the creek. See if we can get some frogs."

A grin broke out on Buck's face. "I'll race you."

Del ended up winning the race, as he usually did, but Buck didn't mind. He was just glad to be outside again and far too enticed by the prospect of catching frogs to get mad about a race.

The days of rain had filled the creek to capacity and the banks were nothing more than mud, but the boys didn't mind in the slightest. For nearly an hour Buck and Del jumped and splashed on the edge of the creek attempting to catch frogs. They stirred up too much of a ruckus for most of their attempts to be successful and when they did manage to catch one of the critters it almost immediately got away. After a while Buck grew bored with his lack of success and set down on the bank while Del tenaciously continued his hunt.

As he set there Buck started to kick his feet, splashing water up. It wasn't long before he threw up a chunk of mud with his foot that landed directly on Del's pants leg with a splat.

"Hey!" Del cried looking over to Buck.

Buck laughed. "Sorry."

"I'll give you sorry." Del reached down and tossed a handful of mud at Buck with a grin.

Buck yelped when it hit his shoulder. Jumping up he tossed another wad of mud at Del. It wasn't long before both boys were back in the water throwing mud back and forth.

The mud battle continued until Del finally looked up and saw the sky starting to turn orange. "We gotta get back." He said.

Buck looked up as well before they both hurried to the bank to put their shoes back on. As soon as they were finished Del looked at Buck with a sneaky grin. "I'll race you."

* * *

Ida was out in the foyer when she heard the kitchen door slam. Knowing it had to be Buck she went in that direction, ready to start getting him set to go upstairs for the night. Stepping into the kitchen she stopped short. "Buck! What on Earth have you been doing?"

Buck was soaking wet from the knees down and covered in mud, which he was now tracking on the floor.

"Me and Del went down to the creek." He answered flippantly. He was either oblivious to the mess he was making or he didn't care.

"Stop moving." Ida closed her eyes and sighed. Buck had been gone no more than an hour and a half, two at the very most. She had expected muddy shoes and _slightly_ dirty clothes, but how he'd gotten in this state was beyond her. Everything was filthy, even his hair had mud in it. "What were you doing?" She asked again.

"Just playing. We caught some frogs."

Ida had to keep silent a moment before speaking to keep from losing her temper. After everything else that had happened today she really didn't feel like dealing with this. "Outside." She said firmly, pointing to the door. Heaving a sigh Buck turned and trudged back out.

Ida put her head I her hands and groaned. How did anyone get that dirty just playing? Shaking her head Ida retrieved a towel for the cupboard and put water on to heat before following Buck outside. There was no question that Buck needed a bath and she would have to hurry to get it done before her evening started. Meeting Buck outdoors she had him remove his shoes and shirt. His pants were still wet and dirty but hopefully he wouldn't make any more tracks going upstairs.

"You know better than this." She scolded trying to get him dried off some, although she mostly just managed to dirty a towel. Sighing she gave Buck a nudge back inside. "Go on upstairs and finish undressing." She told him. "I'll have to get a bath for you before I leave tonight."

Buck stopped and whirled around, a look of horror on his face. "A bath? I don't need a bath!"

"Oh, yes you do."

"No, I don't."

Ida gave him a look. "Excuse me?" It seemed her idea about allowing Buck to blow off steam hadn't done as much good as she'd hoped but Buck did drop his eyes at the reprimand. "Go on." She said again.

"But…"

"Buck, I don't want to hear any arguments. You are covered in mud and you're taking a bath. Now you go upstairs and get undressed." Buck's eyes hardened some but he headed for the stairs. "And please try not to touch anything on the way up."

She heard Buck mumbled something, but she figured she probably didn't really want to know what had been said.

Sighing she looked at the numerous small puddles and muddy footprints on the floor. Taking the dirty towel she hastily mopped up. A voice in the back of her mind told her she should have had Buck do it but she knew that in his current mood it would likely led to a battle and she honestly didn't feel like having to put up with that at the moment. It would be so much easier and quicker to just do it herself. Once she finished she got the water off the stove, put on another pot, and went upstairs to check on Buck, a part of her knowing she wouldn't find him ready for his bath like she had told him. She wasn't disappointed. Buck was still wearing his muddy pants and didn't look as though he had made any attempt at all to do as he'd been told.

"Buck," Ida said, doing her best to remain patient as she poured the water up. "I told you to get undressed. I have another pot heating but I need you to hurry." Sighing loudly, Buck pulled his pants off. "Go ahead and get in I'll be right back with the rest of the water."

Rushing back out of the room Ida hurried down to the kitchen and retrieved the other pot of water. Entering her room she once again found Buck exactly where she had left him. "Buck!" Ida took a calming breath. "I'm not going to tell you again. Get in." She poured the rest of the water in the tub before turning back to Buck who was now standing with his arms crossed.

"Sailors don't gotta wash all the time." He grumbled a looked between a glare and a pout on his face.

"Don't _have to_ wash all the time. However, you, young man, are not a sailor and you do have to wash."

"But it ain't even Saturday!"

"No, it isn't, but you managed to get every part of you so muddy today that you will not get into that bed until you've cleaned up. Now, you can do it yourself or I can do it for you."

Buck actually gave that some thought, gauging how serious his mother was about her threat. When her eyes never left his however, he decided she meant what she had said and dropped his own gaze. Sighing he started to the tub, giving it a weary look.

"Hurry." Ida said, giving him a swat on the rear. Buck scowled but it was that scowl that told Ida he'd barely felt the rap, if he'd felt it at all.

As his mother walked away, Buck rolled his eyes and irritably stripped off the rest of his clothes. He didn't understand what it was about women that made them think it was necessary for a person to be clean all the time; he hadn't got that muddy today. Jumping in the tub, Buck washed as fast as he could and was ready to get back out when Ida stopped him.

"Let me see."

"I washed." He cried, protesting her examination.

"And you still have mud back here." Ida said, running her hand on the back of his head along his hairline.

Buck waited impatiently while Ida rewashed most of his hair, around his neck, and behind his ears. "Can I get out now?" He asked when she finally put the rag down.

Ida took his chin and made him look at her. "Minding your tone is what you can do now. Or do we need to have a more serious talk?"

For the first time all day some of the defiance left Buck's eyes. _Talks_ usually meant the old belt Mama kept in the wardrobe would be involved. "No, ma'am."

Ida nodded her approve and left him alone to take care of getting dressed. Once he was dressed again, Ida motioned to the corner where the wash basin and pitcher were. "The tooth powder and a rag are over by the basin. Please take care of your teeth."

Buck heaved a loud, dramatic sigh. Having to take a bath was one thing, but having to put that power on his teeth was something else, they weren't muddy at all. "I already took a bath." He whined.

"Buck!" Ida's tone didn't leave a great deal of room for argument.

Buck pulled a face but trudged over to the basin to finish up. "Damn it all." He muttered as he leaned over the wash basin.

"What did you say?"

Buck froze. He hadn't meant for Mama to hear that. She was already mad about the bath; this would only make her angrier. Slowly he turned to face her as he racked his brain for some word that might sound close enough to what he had said to satisfy her question. "Uhhh…" An explanation didn't come fast enough, and Buck's silence was all the proof Ida needed that he had indeed muttered the curse she had thought she'd heard.

"Buck Wilmington, where did you hear that kind of language?"

Swallowing nervously, Buck shifted his weight from foot to foot, unsure of how to answer. That particular phrase he'd picked up at the docks one day when he and Del had skipped school. He didn't think it would be a good idea to tell Mama that though.

"Buck, answer me."

"At the docks." He finally admitted, omitting the part about skipping school.

"Why were you at the docks?" Buck didn't answer. "I've told you I don't like you going to the river. You have no business at the docks and there's certainly nothing you need to see down there. And I don't want to hear you talking that way again, do you understand?" Buck still didn't say anything but glowered in response. "Buck, do you understand me?"

"I heard you." Buck huffed, making a face as he turned away.

Given the general attitude Buck had had since this morning, Ida was sure it wasn't his first disrespectful response of the day, but it was the first one she'd heard. Closing her eyes, Ida sighed deeply. She had tried to avoid this but she now knew of only one remedy for Buck's attitude. Going to the wardrobe, Ida retrieved the old leather belt she kept for times such as these when Buck become too stubborn or too smart for his own good. As she doubled the strap of worn leather Buck took notice of what she was doing. His eyes widened ever so slightly. "No… You don't have to do that. Please. I'll brush my teeth."

Ignoring his objections, Ida took hold of Buck's arm and led him over to the bed. where she half turned him over her knee before delivering a swift rap across his rear-end, ending his protests. He had already pushed too hard for too long to talk his way out of this whipping.

As soon as the belt made contact Buck yelped and tried to twist away but Ida only tightened her grip and administered another, Buck fighting her the whole time. They had an understanding that the less Buck fought, the easier his whippings would be but Buck never seemed to remember that and he continued to be difficult until he felt the belt for the forth time. At last she heard a quiet sob as Buck finally resigned himself to his fate. Ida swiftly administered the final two swats, setting the belt aside as she released Buck's arm. Buck kept his face hidden as he continued to cry softly. Ida gently rubbed his back, allowing him his moment. After a while she pulled her hand away. "Buck, please go brush your teeth."

Buck offered no argument this time but instead went to the wash basin and started the task that had been so dreaded before.

Ida watched him closely; her heart twisting every time she heard him sniffle or saw him reach up to wipe his eyes. It was a punishment, she reminded herself. It wasn't meant to be pleasant. And it was a punishment Buck had been all but asking for the entire day, but those facts didn't make the ordeal any easier for her. She finally noticed Buck had finished with his teeth but was keeping his back to her. "Buck." She called softly.

Buck hastily wiped his eyes again before turning around but Ida noticed they were still shining with tears. Of course Buck would claim he was too old to cry about something as trivial as a spanking and she wondered if those tears were the result of physical discomfort or his broken heart. Either way, it seemed as though he was finally feeling genuine remorse for his earlier behavior. Ida opened her arm to him. "Come here."

Buck didn't hesitate and rushed to her, allowing her to pull him into a hug, a hug he readily returned.

"You know I hate having to do that, don't you?" She asked, knowing that he didn't really know. He would never understand just how much taking a strap to him hurt her, at least not until he had a child of his own.

"Yes." Buck answered, his voice muffled by her shoulder and his tears. Mama always asked him that, and he always said yes, mostly because she always looked so sad afterwards but really he didn't know why it should bother her so much. He was the one whose backside was still stinging from the incident. The belt hadn't touched her. "I'm sorry." He said, finally pulling back and looking up at her.

Ida smiled, wiping the remaining traces of tears off his cheek. He was sorry, she didn't doubt that. "I know, baby. And I want you to remember this next time I tell you to do something. It will save us both some pain if you do."

For several more minutes Ida held Buck making sure he knew the incident was forgiven and done with. She also took a bit of extra time tucking him in that night even though it made a little late for getting downstairs. She knew Rita would understand though, and anyone willing to pay for her company would be just as willing to wait for it.

* * *

For the better part of the night Ida thought about Parker's previous offer. She did her best with Buck, trying to be both a mother and a father to him but she knew she wasn't filling the latter role very well. Even not counting tonight she had been noticing a slight change in Buck. He was still his normal loving, big-hearted self on most days but the defiant attitude he'd shown tonight was becoming more common than she liked. He had also started to show bit too much enthusiasm for being down by the river lately and Ida found the thought a particularly unsettling one. The river opened a door for Buck to meet a whole new breed of men Ida didn't want him associating with, and picking up new habits. Buck's language tonight had proven that. Granted it was hardly the worst thing he could have said but it wasn't something he had picked up from her and as crass as some of the girls could be they mostly watched themselves around Buck.

She couldn't say exactly what Buck's problems stemmed from. Maybe it was just the fact he was getting older or maybe because there wasn't a real male presence in his life or maybe Del Givins was teaching him bad habits. Whatever the reason she did know was that she could use some help, and she could no longer ignore the fact that a fine, honorable man had offered her some.

By the next morning Ida had made up her mind. She was going to swallow her pride and accept Parker's help. She still wasn't keen on the talk she knew she would have to have with the man but she couldn't help but feel Buck was being hurt be her stubbornness, or at least being deprived of something. So, after breakfast she sent Buck off to play with Del, after giving strict instructions to not do whatever it was he had done yesterday, and she made her way to the sheriff's office.

She felt her nervousness grow with each step, which she told herself was ridiculous. She had been dealing with men her entire life; she should have no difficulty in talking to John Parker, especially since Parker was far more civilized than most of the men she knew. Reaching the office she shoved her nerves aside and blew out a breath before pushing open the door.

Parker was hunched over a desk but looked up when she entered. "Ida." Parker stood. "John. Is Sheriff Cranford here?"

The deputy gave her a look that told her she should know better than that, but shook head. "No, he's not. Do you need him?"

"No, not at all. I…I came to see you… actually."

"Oh. Please, set down."

Accepting the chair Parker offered Ida took a moment to collect her thoughts. "I came about Buck."

"Is he all right?"

Ida took note of the genuine concern in that question and once again told herself she was doing the right thing. He and Buck got along well, and the man had offered. And Buck needed this. "Yes, he – he's fine. It's, well…lately things have been a bit…trying."

"Trying?"

"Yes. He's been getting more argumentative and rowdy and...He really is a good boy but as he's gotten older…" Ida shook her head as she let the thought go unfinished. She wasn't sure how to put what had been going on into words.

"I've noticed a little bit of a change in him." John said understanding what Ida was saying. Most days Buck was the kid he'd meet all those months ago, but every few days Parker picked up on an attitude that bordered on outright deviance. "Probably just something he's going through, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"I hope so. But I am concerned that as he gets older, well, I'm afraid that soon a mother may not be quite enough anymore. Sometimes I think it would be nice to…"

Ida stopped again and Parker bit back a smile wondering of this was really going where he thought it was. After all these months was Ida finally willing to accept some help? "It would be nice to have some help?" He suggested. If he wasn't mistaken a very faint blush came to Ida's cheeks.

"I know it's been awhile but, if the offer still stands I would be more than happy to take you up on it."

"I'd consider it an honor."

"You're certain it won't be an imposition?" She was quite ready to withdraw her request at even the smallest hesitation from Parker.

"Ida, if I minded, I wouldn't have offered. Believe it or not that kid's kind of grown on me."

Ida breathed a laugh, relived at Parker's words, although if she were honest with herself she hadn't really expected him to say anything else. "He has a tendency to do that." She rose. "Thank you very much for this. I really can't tell you what it means to me."

Parker shook his head. "Don't mention it. Just glad I can help."

Ida was about to walk out the door when Parker stopped her. "Ida?"

She turned and faced the deputy again.

"Has Buck ever been fishing?"

Ida shook her head. "No, he hasn't." There had never been anyone to take him. Lord knew she knew nothing about fishing.

"Well, if it's all right with you, tell Buck I'll pick him up in the morning. I think it's about time he learned."

"I'll do that. Thank you." As she walked back to the Palace Ida found herself wondering why she hadn't had that conversation with the deputy months ago.

**A/N: Thank you for reading, and thank you to all you who left reviews on the last chapter. Reviews are always appreciated. And to all my US readers, Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Till next time. **


	9. Fred

**A/N: In the episode **_Serpents_** Buck tells Louisa about the dog he had as a kid. This is my take on where that dog came from, enjoy. And thanks to all you who reviewed the last chapter. **

"I like fishing."

John Parker looked over to the boy sitting on the river bank beside him. It had been several weeks since he'd first asked Ida about taking Buck fishing and since then the two of them had gone many times, but he was certain Buck told him how much he enjoyed it every time they went out.

"I'm glad. I like it too. It's relaxing, it's quiet, and if you're lucky you'll end up with a mighty good supper."

Since Ida had asked him about helping Buck, Parker made it a point to set aside at least one day out of the week to spend with Buck. Buck still went by the sheriff's office when possible for an afternoon chat but those visits were always relatively short. But on that one day Parker put forth an effort to really spend time with the boy and their outing, whatever it was, usually lasted several hours. Some days Del joined them and some days it was just the two of them but Buck seemed to love it either way.

Buck turned to him with a grin. "It ain't always quiet when me and Del is with you."

Parker chuckled. Buck was right, the trips weren't nearly as quiet when both he and Del were involved, which meant their catch was never very good, but Parker enjoyed being with the boys. "Well, on those days if we end up with supper if we're very, very lucky."

Buck giggled, knowing they usually weren't that lucky. "Hey, Mr. Parker, since you taught me how to fish could you teach me how to hunt too?"

"I'll have to check with your mama about that but she don't care, absolutely."

"Really hunt? With a gun and all?" Buck had a definite gleam in his eye.

Parker didn't trust that twinkle in Buck's eye but the boy had a point. Buck needed to learn how to handle a gun; every man did, especially out here, and he was at a good age to start. "I'll talk to your mama," he said. He didn't know how open Ida would be to the idea but he made a note to bring it up next time Buck wasn't around.

Soon after they gathered up their gear and started for home. It was getting close to sunset and Parker wanted to get Buck home before dark. About half-way back Buck grabbed Parker's arm.

"Look!" he cried.

It took a moment for the man to find what Buck was talking about but soon he saw what had gotten Buck's attention. Several feet away a black and tan hound was watching them warily. The dog was obviously fearful judging from his hunched form and tucked tail. In the fading light it was hard to tell too much about the dog but Parker was sure the hound was underfed.

"Where did he come from?" Buck asked, his eyes riveted on the dog.

"Probably just a stray," he replied giving Buck a nudge. "Come on, we got to get you home."

As soon as they started walking again the dog turned and bolted out of sight, but Buck continued to look back at the spot it had been until they back on the road for town.

"If he's a stray that means he don't got a home, right?"

"Right."

They were well passed the spot where the dog had been but Buck looked back again. "Do you think he'll be all right all alone."

Parker couldn't help but smile at the concern in the question. Buck had big heart that was for sure. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Coyotes are dogs too and they do just fine on their own."

Buck wasn't completely satisfied but he tried not to worry too much about the poor, homeless dog.

* * *

The first thing Buck did when he got home was tell Ida about the dog they had seen. For the next week he brought the dog up daily. Both Parker and Ida tried to tell him the dog was most likely fine and that he had doubtless been on his own for some time. Their assurances did little to help Buck forget his worries however, and when Parker picked him up the next week for another afternoon of fishing the dog was still foremost in his mind.

Instead of going down to the river like they normally did, Parker lead the way to one of the larger creeks. It was a nice spot that Parker normally had good luck at but he's also had ulterior motives for picking the spot today. He was hoping that avoiding the place where Buck had seen the dog would help get the boy's mind off the stray. He doubted the dog had hung around, especially if no one had fed him, but he thought it would be best to stay away this week anyway. Just in case.

For the first hour or so things were quiet. Buck hadn't mentioned the dog since they'd set down and Parker was hoping that was a sign Buck was starting to forget about the dog.

Suddenly Buck jumped up dropping his pole. "What's that?"

There was a rustling on the other side of the creek, just inside the tree line, but Parker didn't see anything. "Could be anything; a rabbit or a fox. I wouldn't worry about it."

Buck set back down but his eyes never left the spot he'd pointed to. A couple of minutes later he started shaking Parker's arm. "Look, Mr. Parker!" he exclaimed. "It's him."

Again Parker looked. This time he saw the dog slowly creeping out of the brush; the same black and tan that had caused Buck so much worry the past week. Buck jumped up again and wadded out into the creek a few steps.

"Wait, Buck," Parker said softly. The dog had the same fearful look he'd had the last time they'd seen him and the deputy knew he'd bolt again if Buck went running up to him.

Buck stopped but held out his hand. "Come here, boy," he called.

The dog remained motionless for several seconds then timidly began to make his way over. He stopped just short of Buck and craned his neck to sniff the outstretched hand.

"Easy, Buck," Parker muttered. "Let him come to you."

Buck stood perfectly still letting the dog smell his hand. After a moment the dog took another few steps putting his head right next the Buck's hand. "Can I touch him now?" Buck whispered.

"Go ahead."

Slowly Buck moved his hand and gently rubbed the dog's head. The hound's tail was still tucked but he started to wag it ever so slightly. Soon he came even closer leaning his head against Buck's leg. Buck looked up and grinned. "I think he likes me."

"Looks like."

"Has he been here all week?"

Parker shook his head. "I don't know."

Now that the dog was closer he could see the poor thing was nothing but skin and bones. Parker could count his ribs and his hip bones were both visible; it was obvious the dog hadn't been cared for at all. Stepping out into the water until he was almost even with Buck, Parker squatted down. Holding out his own hand he called to the hound softly. The dog hesitated but finally stepped away from Buck and allowed Parker to rub him as well.

"Is he a stray?" Buck asked.

"I'd say so."

Bucked turned sad blue eyes to Parker. "But if he don't have a home, he ain't getting fed. He could starve if nobody feeds him."

The dog looked more than half-starved now but Parker didn't want to tell Buck that. He already looked crushed at the prospect the dog was homeless. "Well...I guess that's true."

Buck moved in closer and resumed patting the dog, his young heart clearly broken. Suddenly his eyes lit up. "I know! We can take him home."

"We… uhh, I don't know how your mama would feel about that."

"She won't mind."

Parker wasn't so sure. He had no idea how Ida felt about animals but somehow he didn't think she would be as enthusiastic about the hound dog as her son was.

"We got to take him with us, Mr. Parker," Buck continued. "We can't just leave him here with nobody take care of him and let him die. And I think he wants to come home with me." Buck wadded out of the creek, the dog following closely behind as if to prove he did indeed want to go with him. When he reached the bank Buck set down and the dog immediately dropped beside him. "See?" Buck proclaimed triumphantly.

Parker followed feeling completely helpless. He could not tell Buck he could keep the dog, not without talking to Ida first, but he couldn't tell the boy he had to leave the dog either. He doubted the dog would stay behind anyway. "Buck." He set down beside the pair. "I don't think…We really need to talk to your mama about this."

"She won't care," Buck said again. "Once she sees him she'll want him too. I know she will. He wants to go home with me. Look at him." Buck picked up the dog's head, making him look at Parker.

The deputy then found the hound's sad brown eyes and Buck's pleading blue ones both boring into him. He shook his head. "Buck…"

"Please."

It was that single word that did the man in. He knew he was making a mistake but he couldn't say no to those looks. "All right."

"Thank you!" Buck jumped up, throwing his arms around the man.

"We'll take him back and ask." He quickly clarified. "You have to ask your mama."

"I know but don't worry. She'll love Fred."

Parker almost groaned out loud. Buck may have agreed to ask but he knew that if "Fred" already had a name then a far as Buck was concerned the dog was his.

Figuring that if they stayed at the creek any longer Buck would only become more attached to the dog than he already was, Parker suggested they head back. Normally Buck would never agree to end a trip early but now that he had Fred he didn't seem to mind at all. All the way back to the Palace Buck alternated between playing with Fred and assuring the deputy Ida would let Fred stay. Parker just hoped that Ida really liked dogs.

* * *

"Mama! Come look."

Ida jerked her head up in surprise as Buck came running into the room. "Buck, what's wrong?" she asked, a little concerned. It was much too early for the fishing trip to be over.

"Nothing," Buck exclaimed, giving her arm a tug. "You have to come see." He pulled on her again but as soon as she was on her feet Buck took off.

Ida followed Buck into the kitchen and out the back door into the alley, where he was waiting with a big grin on his face.

"Look what me and Mr. Parker found today," Buck proclaimed proudly. Ida's eyes fell to the ground by Buck where a scrawny black and tan, presumably the one Buck had been talking about all week, set in the dust. "His name's Fred."

"Fred?"

"Yeah." When Buck plopped down on the ground, the dog immediately put his head in Buck's lap. "He's gonna stay here with us."

It took a moment for Ida to realize exactly what Buck had said. "He's going…No. No. Buck we cannot keep him."

Buck looked up from his spot on the ground. "Why not? Mr. Parker said he was awful skinny and he didn't belong to nobody." The dog rolled over and stared at Ida.

Ida glanced over to where John Parker stood leaning against the wall, looking as conflicted as she felt, hoping for some support. The only help she received form the lawman however, was a helpless shrug. "Come here, sweetheart," she said motioning him over. Buck jumped up and hurried over. "Buck, listen to me. We can't keep this dog."

"But we have to. He don't have a home. And Mr. Parker said he don't look like he's been eating right. If we don't feed him he won't get nothing to eat."

They both looked back to the dog, which began to wag his tail when he noticed the people watching him. Buck turned back to her. "He'll starve by hisself, Mama. We can't let him starve!"

Ida gave the hound a long look. He was skinny. The poor thing probably hadn't had enough to eat in weeks, if not longer. "No, we can't," she conceded. We can give him something to eat but then we'll have to find him another home."

"Why can't we keep him?"

"Buck, where are we going to keep him?"

"He can stay in our room," Buck stated very matter-of-factly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh, no, sir, he can't. And I don't think Rita would like that idea very much."

"Why? He's real sweet."

The dog jumped up as though he'd been waiting for a cue and bounded over to Ida. Sitting down at her feet Fred stared up at her with his sad eyes, his tail making large circles in the dirt. "I'm sure he is, but he's a very big dog. I'll think he'll need more room than that. Even if Rita agreed and I don't think she would."

"But Rita wouldn't want him to starve either. And he will if he can't stay."

Ida sighed again. Rita wouldn't want the dog inside, she didn't want the dog inside, but she knew Buck was right. No one with a heart would be able to ignore the poor dog. "Like I said, we'll give him something to eat tonight, but he does have to stay outside."

"Okay," Buck readily agreed.

"Just tonight, Buck," she said. Buck seemed to deflate some but he nodded. "I'll go find him something to eat. John, would you like to help me?"

Parker straightened from where he'd been leaning on the building, recognizing that it wasn't an invitation to help but a summons to talk. "Yes, Ma'am."

Parker the way inside and just before Ida closed the door she heard Buck calling for "Fred" again. She had a feeling he didn't really believe her about the dog staying just for tonight.

"Please tell me you did not tell him he could keep that dog," Ida cried as soon as they were in the kitchen and safely away from Buck.

"I did not tell him he could keep that dog," Parker assured her. "I told him we would have to talk to you," he added somewhat sheepishly.

Ida groaned. "John, he's already named it. How am I supposed to get rid of it after it has a name?"

Parker shrugged. "Do you _have_ to get rid of it?"

"We do not need a dog."

"Now, hang on. I know it's unexpected but why not keep him? Dogs are good for boys." He moved over to the window and looked out, motioning Ida over. Begrudgingly, Ida joined him and found that Buck was still playing with Fred, and looking like he was having the time of his life. "Ida, he's been talking about this dog all week."

"I know but…" Ida shook her head. She hated to think about how disappointed Buck would be if she made him find another home for the dog. "We don't need a dog," she said again.

"Why not?"

"What am I supposed to do with him?"

"That's the point. You don't have to do anything with him. It'll be Buck's dog; it'll be Buck's responsibility. Let him learn how to take care of something."

Moving away from the window, and the sight of Buck and Fred, Ida began to look for something to feed the dog. "Where do we keep him?"

"You don't have to keep him anywhere. He'll be fine right where he is. Surly Rita can't object to a dog being in the alley."

"I just don't know if this is a good idea," Ida said, continuing to move around the kitchen.

"Have you ever had a dog?"

"No."

"Well that's your problem. You just don't know how good they can be."

Ida turned, exasperated and feeling like the two of them were ganging up on her. "John…"

"This will be good for him. Could be good for you too, just let him try it. Please."

The man looked so sincere she almost believed him. "And if it doesn't work?" she asked, gathering up some old bread and a few leftovers from supper last night.

"Then…I'll take him."

Ida gave the deputy a skeptical look. "You'll take him?" Parker nodded. "What you're saying is, you want me to let Buck keep the dog to see if he's responsible and if he's not you're going to take the dog?"

"That's right."

"And Buck still gets him."

Parker grimaced. "You could say that."

"You had this planned out from the beginning," she accused.

"No! I- I did have to think about it some on the way home."

Giving him a look Ida went back outside.

She went over to where Buck and Fred were and placed the scraps on the ground. The dog sniffed at them and eyed her suspiciously. When she made no move toward him, he began to hungrily devour them.

"I told you he was hungry," Buck said smugly as he watched the dog.

"I know he was hungry," Ida replied, wrapping her arms around Buck and resting her chin on his head. As she watched the dog she had to admit she did feel sorry for him. He was tearing into the food as though he hadn't eaten in days and judging by his scrawny appearance she wouldn't be surprised if that were true.

"Do we really have to find Fred another home?" Buck asked dejectedly.

"Well, that's what John and I were discussing inside."

Encouraged by the tone he heard Buck spun around, eyes bright. "Can he stay?" He ran to Parker. "Is she gonna let him stay?" Buck was nearly bouncing now.

Parker put his hands on Buck shoulders. "Shh, listen." Parker looked at Ida over Buck's head, smiling when she nodded her consent. "He can stay," he told Buck. "But he's going to be your responsibility. You're going to have to take care of him."

"I will."

"If you don't, he has to find a new home," Ida finished. She decided not to mention Parker's offer to take the dog if it didn't work out. If learning responsibility was part of the goal she didn't want him knowing there was an easy out.

Buck nodded eagerly. "I'll take care of him. I promise."

"And he has to stay out here. He is not coming inside." That was one thing Ida wasn't going to budge on.

"He won't." Grinning from ear to ear Buck hugged her tightly. "Thank you! I didn't want to give him away."

Smiling, Ida kissed the top of his head. "I don't think John wanted you to give him away either."

Buck turned back to the deputy, practically beaming. "I told you she'd want him."

"You did. I think between the two of us we convinced her you needed him."

Fred had finished the food he'd been given and trotted back over to them, where he promptly set at Buck's feet. Buck fell beside him, giving him a hug. "Guess what, Fred? Mama gonna let you stay!"

Ida couldn't help but smile as she watched them. She knew that even without John's persuasive talk she probably would not have been able to send the dog away, not after seeing him and Buck together.

"Can I go show him to Del?" Buck asked suddenly.

"Of course you can," Ida said. "Just be sure you're back for supper."

"I will." He gave her another quick hug and waved to the deputy. "Bye, Mr. Parker. Come on, Fred." The hound jumped up and ran after Buck as he took off down the alley. It appeared the dog was already very aware of who his human was.

"I really hope this doesn't turn out to be a mistake," she told Parker as they watched the pair disappear.

The deputy smiled. "It's won't. Trust me."

**A/N: I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I hit a serious dry spell with this story and it took a while to figure out what I wanted to do. That being said, I would love to hear from y'all about what you would like to see happen to Buck. I have a request about Buck and his first horse, which I plan to get to soon, but if anyone has any ideas please tell me. I'm open to most anything. Also, I have an idea for Buck and Del to get into some semi-serious trouble and being dealt with by Parker but I don't have an idea for what they could do so, I'm open for suggestions there as well. As always, thank you for reading and for your reviews. **


	10. Decisions, Decisions

"I can't stand that man," Del grumbled as he and Buck left school. They had both been kept after today…again. It was a situation that had become fairly common over the past three months and neither boy was ever particularly happy about having what was left of their afternoons eaten up with the extra work they had to do.

"Me either," Buck quickly assured him, scratching Fred behind the ears as he came bounding up to them. The hound was always faithfully waiting whenever they got out of school, even if they were later than they should be. "But what are we supposed to do about it?"

Del shrugged. That wasn't anything they could do but that didn't mean he had to like it.

Mr. Ludlow had left at the end of the first half of the year to take a position in a small Kansas town, and neither of the boys cared for his replacement. Mr. Harper was much more strict, didn't make the lessons nearly as enjoyable, and in Buck's opinion the man had the most annoying accent imaginable. The first two things caused both Del and Buck to find themselves in more trouble than usual and the third made the punishments all the worse.

"Ma's going to be mad I had to stay after again," Del continued.

Buck could only grunt in response. Mama wouldn't be very happy either, or John for that matter.

Over the last little while life had settled into a comfortable routine for the ten-year-old Buck. He still spent time with Parker, only now it was every spare minute he had and formal titles had long ago been dropped. The man was merely John now, and he was as close to a father as Buck figured he was ever going to get, although Buck couldn't imagine his real father being any better than John Parker. They had also expanded their time together to include other things besides fishing. Of these activities hunting and working with horses were Buck's favorites. John said he had a natural talent for horses and he was a pretty good shot too, although only with a rifle. Mama still didn't like the idea of handguns yet, but John was working on it and Buck knew it would only be a matter of time.

"Are you coming by the office today?" Buck asked, breaking into Del's rant concerning their teacher. He'd had more than enough of Mr. Harper for the day, and that included talking about the man.

Del considered the question then shook his head. "Better not. I got some chores to do and I don't want to give Pa anymore reason to be mad." With that their conversation took on a more inconsequential tone which they kept up until it was time to go their separate ways. "See you tomorrow," Del called as he ran off toward his family's home, while Buck headed toward the sheriff's office.

The office was empty when Buck arrived so he set down at Parker's desk to wait, knowing the man would be along shortly. Buck still loved his visits to the sheriff's office and tried to never miss a day. Sometimes, he even helped clean up the office and cells. Buck hated having to clean at home but the office different. Cleaning the jail was kind of fun.

It wasn't long before Parker came in the back door. He looked to the clock on the wall, then back at Buck. "What did you do today?" he asked, with a knowing smile.

Buck scowled, as he jumped from the deputy's seat, which Parker immediately took over. "Nothing."

"You must have done something."

Buck slumped down in another chair. "Well, it wouldn't nothing serious. I found a mouse during lunch today and… well, it might have ended up in Ruby Haynes and Lucy Miller's desk." He finished by giving the sheriff his most innocent smile.

Parker laughed. "If I remember correctly, last week it was a frog that Del caught and it was Rachel and Maggie's desk."

"I don't know why girls have to be afraid of everything," Buck grumbled.

"I swear, boy, you and Del get each other in to more trouble than anybody I've ever seen. You do know if you'd stop putting things in girl's desk you would get in trouble, don't you?"

"Mr. Harper just doesn't like us," Buck protested. "Besides, he's boring." Buck scooted forward in his chair and propped his arms on the desk. "Do you reckon we could get him fired?"

"For punishing mischief makers? I'm afraid not. You and Del are just going to have to learn how to behave yourselves."

"Mr. Ludlow was never so testy," Buck grumbled.

Parker laughed. "You never were such a hellion for Mr. Ludlow. What is about the man you don't like?"

"I don't know," Buck said. He honestly didn't have a specific reason. He'd always enjoyed pranks with Del and something about Mr. Harper made them even more enjoyable.

"Look, Buck, I know you're a good kid. Why don't you try a little harder to show Harper how good you actually can be instead of making trouble for him?"

Buck sighed. "That means Del too, right?"

"It means Del needs to try."

Buck finally shrugged. "I guess so."

"Good. You want to sweep up before you go home?"

"Can I?" All of Buck's previous surliness vanished at the prospect of helping.

"You know where the broom is." Parker grinned as he watched the boy dart off to the back to get the broom. He knew from talking with Ida that Buck didn't approach his chores at home with the same enthusiasm his did the work at the jail. Keeping the jail clean wasn't going to be nearly as easy when Buck figured out that the tasks Parker "let" he help with were actually work, but he was going to take full advantage of Buck's eagerness until then.

Parker used the time Buck was cleaning to catch up on some paperwork. It was all things the man holding the office of sheriff should do, but Parker knew Cranford. The lazy man would find some way to shove it off on him eventually so, he'd just as soon go ahead and do it. As he and Buck worked at their respective tasks, Parker continued to talk to Buck, trying to find out more about his sudden surge of trouble. Some mischief was expected for a boy, even normal, but it seemed like Buck and Del had been finding more than their fair share of trouble lately. He personally hadn't been able to tell a difference in their behavior when he was with them and he wondered if maybe Mr. Harper was partially to blame for the issue. Buck didn't seem to have any specific complaints about the man, however, so maybe the two of them were just going through a phase. Whatever the issue was, Parker hoped it sorted itself out soon.

Parker let Buck meticulously sweep the office and part of the correctly empty cells, before sending him home. Just as Buck was leaving Parker gave the boy one more reminder to try and behave himself a little better at school, and Buck promised to do so. The deputy only hoped Buck remembered his promise once he was back with Del and Neil Harper.

* * *

"I don't think it's worth it, Del," Buck shared with his friend during noon recess. Both boys had already eaten and were stretched out on the ground waiting to be called back inside.

"What?" Del asked.

"Being good. We ain't had to stay after all week but I don't think it's worth it." After his talk with John, Buck tried to be better behaved at school. He really did. Unfortunately, Buck discovered that acting up was much easier than being well behaved; it was more fun too. After nearly a week Buck had almost decided that having to stay after school was a worthwhile trade for being able to play pranks again.

At Buck's declaration Del rose up on one of his elbows. "You don't?"

Buck shook his head. "Nope."

A grin broke out on Del's face. Like Buck he had also been putting forth extra effort to follow all the rules to a tee, and he had come to the same conclusion. "So," Del drawled. "What do you want to do after lunch?"

Buck looked at Del in confusion. "What do you mean? We got to back to school."

Del gave his friend a look. "We're supposed to go back to school. Is that what you want to do?"

An equally sneaky smile found its way to Buck's face as understanding dawned. After taking a quick look around to make sure no one in the schoolyard was paying any attention to them Buck scooted over a little closer to Del. "What are you thinking about?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go fishin'. Unless you'd rather set inside and listen to Mr. Harper read poetry."

Buck considered that. The prospect of not having to listen to his teacher's annoying voice while he read poems Buck didn't understand was tempting. And it had been a while since he and Del had played hooky. "You're sure we can get away?"

"Of course we can get away." It wouldn't be the first time they'd had left school after lunch.

Buck looked around again, then back a Del with a grin. "What are we waiting for?"

When Mr. Harper rang the bell to call everyone back inside, his classroom was short two pupils and Buck and Del were comfortably settling in on the creek bank.

* * *

For almost an hour after leaving school the boys fished, having moderate luck. As they had gotten older, they had started to learn the value of being silent while fishing. Today, however, they didn't bother. They both knew they couldn't take any of their catch home, not without reviling that they had left school early anyway, so it just wasn't worth being too quiet.

"You know what we should do?" Buck asked as stroked Fred's head and watched Del extract another fish from his hook before tossing it back into the water. He had abandoned his pole a good ten minutes before, not seeing the point in fishing when you couldn't keep anything you caught.

Del rubbed his hand down the leg of his pants to dry it. "What?"

"Go down to the docks."

Del paused and gave Buck a look. "You ain't supposed to go down there." Buck shrugged.

"Neither am I, as a matter of fact," Del continued.

Again Buck shrugged. "We ain't supposed to skip school either," was Buck's reply. That was about all the convincing it took to get Del to put down his own pole and join Buck on his trip to the docks.

On their walk to the small forbidden waterfront, the boys discussed what they knew concerning the docks that served as port to the river boats. Buck's only experiences with the place, were the few times he and Del had sneaked downed there and Del knew only a little more. The older boy had been down with his father on occasion to pick up something for the farm, but beyond that, he was fairly ignorant of the place as well. The few times they visited the place before, they had kept their distance, knowing they weren't supposed to go around the docks, but both were ready to change that today. Neither one had any idea what they were going to do when they arrived, or if there would be anything to do, but the mere fact that the place was off limits was enough temptation to drive them down there.

It took them a good half-hour to get to the river from their spot on the creek, and when they arrive, both stopped. "Now what?" Del asked, surveying the docks.

Buck shrugged. "I don't know."

"This was your idea."

"So?"

Del seemed to think about it for a moment, and then he started walking down to the water. "Come on," he said, motioning for Buck to join him.

"Where are we going?" Buck asked, hurrying to catch up with his friend.

"Down there."

"What for?" The truth was, there wasn't much for two boys to do at the docks, and it idea of being there was a bit more exciting than actually going to them.

"Well, I don't know. We walked all the way out here though, and I ain't gonna look at it from back there."

The answer was good enough for Buck and the two boys along with Fred were soon at the water's edge. They had learned from previous trips there wasn't a great deal that went on unless a boat was docked and they were both grateful to see a steam boat correctly riding in the water. The dock the boat was at was bustling with activity and the boys were able to slip through mostly unnoticed until they reached a large stack of crates. Del grabbed Buck's arm and pulled him down so they were both hidden from view.

"Now what?" Buck asked, wrapping his arms around Fred to keep from sight as well.

Del had to think again. "Do you think we could get on that boat?"

Buck looked to the boat and then back at his friend. "Why?"

"Why not? Have you ever been on a steam boat?"

Buck shook his head and Del started to move. "But what if they catch us?" Buck hissed, pushing Del back down. Buck knew some of the men had already seen them. There was no way one could go completely unnoticed in a place like this, but so far no one had paid them any mind. That might change if they were caught actually on a boat though.

"We'll just try not to let them catch us," Del stated. Buck thought for a while then nodded his consent.

Slipping out of their hiding place, the boys waited until the coast was almost clear, and then darted for the boat. Quickly they ran on board and ducked behind some crates that hadn't been moved yet. "See that was easy," Del said.

"Now what?"

"I don't know."

Buck rolled his eyes then suddenly noticed something. "Where's Fred?" he asked, looking around frantically.

"He must not have got on." Del said, when he didn't see the hound either.

"We got to get him."

Del peered around the crate they were hiding behind to see if anyone was watching them. For the moment everyone's attention seemed to be at the other end of the boat. "Alright, when I say go…" Del was cut off by a loud and familiar bark.

"Where'd that dog come from?" someone cried.

"How'd he get on?"

"Just get him off."

"Don't let him get back there."

Amid all the new voices Buck heard Fred coming their way. "He's coming," he whispered to Del, feeling his heart start to beat faster.

Del was also wide eyed now. Getting on a boat was one thing; getting caught on it was something else. "Get ready to run," he hissed.

Buck nodded. Del's idea of getting aboard had sounded much better on the dock, and Buck was more than ready get off. He was intently waiting for Del to say when, when Fred finally found them. As the hound rounded the crate, Buck stopped waiting for Del's signal and jumped to his feet. "Run!" he yelled, heading for the dock as fast as he could go.

"What's going on!?" another one of the man on the boat yelled.

"Where'd those kids come from?"

Buck pretty much ignored those voices but he couldn't ignore the next one, the one that sounded right behind him. "Where do you think you're going?"

The voice was so close and so gruff, Buck couldn't help but freeze. Spinning around he found a beefy sailor glaring at him and holding Del by the collar.

For a moment Buck couldn't do anything but stare. Del was fighting the man with everything he had but he wasn't getting very far. Then the older boy looked to Buck. "Buck, run!" he yelled.

At those words, Buck snapped out of his trance. Figuring it wouldn't do any good for both of them to get caught, Buck turned and ran. Soon he heard a loud curse and Del was back beside him. And the big sailor was chasing them.

The boys both had more stamina than the man running after them and they were able to get around the people and cargo crowding the docks more easily, but they were unfamiliar with the place and their luck soon ran out. Somehow the man managed to cut them off and when he did, made a lunge for them. Del slipped by but Buck felt a large hand close around his arm. Buck tried to get away but the sailor only tightened his grip before jerking Buck to a stop and spinning him around.

As soon as Buck was caught, Fred began to bark, alerting Del to the change in their fortunes. Turning back around, Del rushed back to his friend. "Let him go!" he yelled, trying to pull Buck out of the man's iron grip. The tactic did nothing but get him caught as well. They both continued to struggle but soon found out they were no match for the sailor.

"What were you doing up there?" the man demanded, giving them both a shake.

"Nothing!" Buck immediately cried.

Del silenced him with a let-me-do-the-talking look. "We weren't doing nothing," he then said.

"Just a couple of trouble makers, huh?" the man asked.

"We didn't hurt anything!" Del protested.

"You was on a boat you didn't have no business being on. That's trespassing, and trespassing against the law." The sailor gave them a leering smile.

"What are you going to do with us?" Buck asked, his voice trembling slightly.

"Don't know. Maybe turn you over to the harbor master. Or if you boys are in such a hurry to be on a boat I might throw you back on it. See how you like the river while you work your way down to New Orleans."

At those words, Buck and Del both began to fight again. Buck didn't care what he had to do; he was not going to New Orleans. At least not with this man. When the boys began struggling again, Fred resumed barking. The commotion the three of them were making was no doubt what alerted the old man who appeared moments later.

"What's going on here?" the man asked around the stump of a cigar.

Del had managed to get half-way out of the sailor's grip but stilled at the new voice, as did Buck. Even Fred stopped barking.

The sailor let go of Del's arm but kept his hold on Buck. "Just teaching a couple of trouble makers a lesson," he growled.

"Trouble makers, huh?" The man looked between Del and Buck, giving them both a hard glare. "Just what kind of trouble were they making?"

"Caught them over there on the _Rose; _snooping around."

The old man sighed and leaned heavily on his walking stick. "Tobias," the old man replied, taking the stump of the cigar out of his mouth and tossing it away. "The _Rose_ is getting unloaded isn't she?" The sailor nodded. "Then don't you have something better to do than teach boys lessons. Especially when your teaching doesn't seem to have much of an effect on them."

Del snorted a laugh when he heard the older man's patronizing tone. He was silenced by a glare from both men.

"They was on the boat and the captain…" Tobias was quickly cut off by the older man.

"Then it's the captain's problem, not yours. Now get out of here and get back to work."

Mumbling angrily under his breath, the sailor released Buck and stalked off. Del and Buck exchanged a grin and Del turned to the old man who had "rescued" them. "Thanks, mister. He'd still have us if you hadn't come along."

The old men just grunted and begin to hobble away. The boys would not be put off so easily however, and fell in step behind him.

"Would he really have sent us to New Orleans?" Buck asked glancing towards the river. As terrifying as the prospect had seemed when he had been in the strong grip of Tobias, a trip down the river it did sound exciting. And kind of fun.

The man grunted again. "Probably not."

"I knew he wouldn't really," Del said smugly. Buck gave his friend a disbelieving look. Del had been fighting just as hard as he had, and he didn't for a moment believe Del had known they were safe from getting tossed back on the boat and going down river whether they wanted to or not. Del caught the look Buck was giving him and offered a half shrug. He knew what Buck was thinking, and honestly, Del hadn't been sure. The old man didn't need to know how scared he'd been though.

"He may have got you on a boat, but I doubt you'd have gotten far," the old man continued. "Even the most crooked captain here wouldn't take on a boy not knowing where he came from."

"Well, thanks anyway mister…." Del paused waiting for the man to provide his name.

The man suddenly stopped. Reaching into his jacket he produced another cigar. "Turtle," he finally said, answering Del only after the cigar was lit.

"Mr. Turtle?" asked Buck.

The man shook his head. "No mister. Just turtle."

Again the man started to walk off, and again Buck and Del followed.

"Do you know that man?" Buck asked, referring to the sailor who had caught him a Del on the boat.

"Tobias? Sure do. He may have called the two of you trouble makers but he makes plenty of his own."

Del continued with the questions. "Why'd he back down from you? Are you his boss or something?"

A gravelly sounding chuckle came from Turtle. "Not by a long shot. But I've been around this place long enough that I can get most anybody to do what I want."

"Are you a sailor?" Buck asked.

"That I am, boy. That I am. Why my family's been on this river since folks knew there was a river here to be on. I know this river like the back of my hand and most of the ports on her too."

Buck exchanged a look with Del. That sounded interesting. "Have you ever been to New Orleans?" The city Tobias had threatened to send them to still fresh on his mind.

"Sure have. More times than I can count."

"What's it like?" Now Buck's curiosity was really peaked and he had to know more. He had only been twenty miles or so from home in his whole life. He couldn't imagine what a city like New Orleans would be like.

"It's quite a sight. And it don't ever sleep. There's always something going on down there."

"And?" Del prodded. Now that Buck had started questioning the old man, he was getting curious as well. And Turtle hadn't given them a lot of information, especially since the man had just said the town never slept.

At Del's question, Turtle stopped walking. Sighing he turned to face the boys. "You two sure do have a lot of questions." Buck grinned but neither one commented. "And before I answer anymore I want some answers from you two. Now, what were you doing on the _Rose_?"

Buck cut his eyes over to Del, again he got the let-me-do-the-talking look. Buck was only too happy to comply. Something about the man's gaze made him feel a little guilty about leaving school, and being at the docks. "Nothing," the older boy stated. "Just looking."

"It's not common to see two boys your age running around down here alone." Again the boys said nothing. "Where y'all supposed to be?"

"School I guess," Del finally admitted. "But it's almost over now," he was quick to add when Turtle cocked an eyebrow.

Turtle suddenly laughed. "I bet you boys can give your mamas fits." Moving over to large crate, Turtle set down and motioned for them. "Come over here and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

* * *

The boys talked to Turtle for over an hour before the old man shooed them off, telling them it was time to get home. On the way home they talked nonstop about the old sailor and the things they had learned from him. And they had learned a lot from him, including a couple of new words Buck knew he shouldn't ever let Mama or John hear from him.

"You ever had a cigar?" Del suddenly asked. It had been plain during their time with Turtle that the man enjoyed his cigars. He would finish one and light another one up. Watching Turtle, Del figured they most be pretty good.

Buck shook his head. "Have you?"

"Nope. Pa don't smoke. You think they're any good?"

Buck shrugged. "I don't know." He'd never thought about it before. "John has a cigar sometimes, and I've seen Jenny and Rose smoke before too. Why?"

"Oh, I's just wondering. I need to be getting home though, and you should probably get to the jail."

Buck realized Del was right. It was a little late but if he didn't go to the jail, John would think something was wrong. Waving to his friend, Buck ran off for his daily visit to the sheriff's office.

When he got there John was working at his desk. "You're late," the deputy said as Buck walked in. "Did something happen?"

Looking at the clock on the wall Buck saw he was only a little later than he would be if he'd had to stay after school. "Kind of," he said vaguely, realizing John thought he'd gotten in trouble again.

John looked up and smiled as Buck set down. "Anything serious?" Buck shook his head. "Well, trouble happens sometimes. You've been doing real good though , I'm sure Mr. Harper appreciates it."

Buck didn't say anything. He felt a little guilty about sort of lying to John by making him think he'd gotten in trouble, but he couldn't tell him he'd skipped school. He certainly couldn't tell him they had gone down to the docks. "I've been trying."

"I know. And I'm proud of you." Parker's smile grew. "You want sweep up?"

"Yes!" Buck cried. Without another word he jumped up and ran for the broom. It wasn't so much that he wanted to help today, it was just that he wanted to get away from John and the guilt he was now feeling.

As he cleaned up Buck thought. He knew he shouldn't have left school early and he knew he shouldn't have talked Del into going down to the docks. He wanted to be good and stay out of trouble, and he wanted to make John proud. But he wanted to bend the rules with Del a little too. He wanted to go fishing and go to the docks, and he wanted to see Turtle again. The problem was, Buck just wasn't sure which one he wanted more.

**A/N: Hi, remember me? I am so, so sorry about how long it's been since I have done anything with this. I did what to give you an explanation for my prolonged absence though. First of all, I received some great ideas for what could happen to Del and Buck and I had to spend some time sorting through everything and deciding where I wanted to go. Next I got distracted by one of my other stories, and I have made a mental note to NOT try and published three stories at one time again. But I worked through that and had then chapter almost ready to go about three weeks ago, then I started a horse training apprenticeship. Wow! I know I wasn't going to have a lot of extra time for writing, but I had no idea the last two and a half weeks would be anything like they have been. This has been the first night I've had off that I felt like I could actually think straight, so I wanted to get this chapter done and up for my wonderful readers who have been waiting so patiently for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me while I worked through everything and I hope a wait like this never happens again. **


	11. A Close Call

Over the next few weeks skipping school became a common practice for Buck and Del. There weren't many days that they simply didn't go, that would be too obvious, but leaving early was fairly routine for them. These early days often found them down at the docks, listening to Turtle's tales of adventure – complete with his rather colorful vocabulary – or fishing, but always in some out of the way place where no one would find them. Naturally, Mr. Harper noticed when two of his pupils strangely disappeared after noon recess, but the boys either didn't think about that or they didn't care.

Their trips to the docks had become such a normal thing that many of the men now more or less ignored them as long as they stayed out of the way. Although they were very careful to always look out for Tobias - even though they hadn't seen him since that first day - as neither one was sure he still wouldn't make good on his threat to send them to New Orleans, but otherwise their trips were typically pleasant, like today. As had become their habit, Buck and Del had slipped out of the schoolyard as everyone else had been going back inside and quickly made their way to the docks. One they arrived they had immediately sought out Turtle and had listened with rapt attention as he told them about his first trips down the Mississippi, and gave them more information concerning New Orleans and Memphis than any boys their age really needed.

After weeks of talking with the old man, Turtle had more or less learned their routine and after nearly two hours of visiting he had sent the boys on their way so they wouldn't be late getting home. They were making their way across the docks back to the road that led to town, talking excitedly about what they had learned from the old sailor today, when Del suddenly grabbed Buck's arm. "Buck!" he hissed.

Buck immediately froze. "What?" There was a note of panic in Del's voice Buck wasn't used to hearing from the older boy.

Del didn't reply to the question but gave Buck a shove. "Move!'

"What?"

"Hide! Hurry!" Del shoved him again.

Buck still wasn't sure what was going on but he jumped back behind some crates that were stacked by one of the huts. "What is it?" Buck asked again as Del joined him.

"We got trouble," Del whispered harshly. He peeked around the crate once more before dropping his head back on the rough wood with a moan. "Aww, if he catches us there's gonna be hell to pay."

Whatever it was, Del made it sound serious but Buck still didn't know what he was talking about. If who caught them? Leaning out just enough to see around the carte they were hid behind, Buck tried to find where Del had looking earlier. He wasn't sure what he was looking for but… Buck felt his heart skip a beat as his eyes locked on to what Del had seen. Standing no more than 10 yards from them, talking with the harbor master, was Deputy John Parker. Quickly Buck ducked back under cover. "That's John!" he hissed. Del only gave him an I-told-you-we-were-in-trouble look. "What are we gonna do?" Buck asked, his voice squeaking slightly from his panic.

"How should I know?"

Buck wasn't expecting that. He was used to Del having an answer for everything. One thing was for sure, he didn't have an idea. Settling back against the crate he decided to follow Del's lead and see what happened.

After a moment, Del blew out a breath. "Nothing," he said answering Buck's earlier question. "We won't do anything. We'll just stay here until he leaves. He can't stay too long. Right?" He ended his statement with a hopeful glance towards Buck.

"Maybe," Buck mumbled. Really that didn't sound like a very good plan, but he hadn't been able to come up with anything better. How long John would stay would probably depend on what he was doing here. And Buck had no idea what that could be.

For the next several minutes, the boys set quietly behind the crate. So far, Del's plan seemed to be working, both boys hoped whatever business the deputy had would soon end. If it didn't they would be late, that wouldn't be good. Then the trouble started. The voices of the harbor master and the deputy began to get closer to their hiding place. As the two men approached Buck shot Del and wide eyed look. The older boy's only response was to shake his head and motion for Buck to keep quiet.

Buck squeezed his eyes shut. _Please don't let him find us_, he silently pleaded to whoever might be listening. Buck wasn't sure if his desperate prayer had been heard or luck was just running with them but the men stopped advancing. Buck could now make out what the men were discussing, something about crates being tampered with and John asking about missing cargo. It was when John started speaking again that Fred, who had been lying quietly at the boy's feet, stood up. Cocking his head slightly, he began wagging his tail.

"Fred, stay," Buck whispered. The last thing they needed was for Fred to try and get to John. The hound kept his head tilted but turned his attention back to Buck. "Come here." Fred hesitated then crept over to the boys, sitting down between them. Buck and Del both started rubbing Fred, hoping to keep him still.

The two men continued to talk behind them and when the sound of splintering wood reached them Del cautiously peered around the crate. He blew out an exasperated breath when he looked back to Buck. "They're opening some. And they're coming closer." His voice now a low whisper.

"What are we gonna do?" Buck had dropped his voice just as low as Del's but there was note of urgency in his as well. He didn't know about Del but he would be in more trouble than he cared to think about if they were caught.

"When he looks the other way, we're gonna make a run for it. All we got to do is get around that building there." Del inclined his head towards the edge of the hut, about twenty feet from them. Once they were around that they could easily avoid the deputy and get back to town.

Buck looked over, nodding that he understood. Sifting his weight slightly, he set up on the balls of his feet ready to go as soon as Del gave the signal. Meanwhile Del eased around their hiding place just a bit to get a better look at the men. Right now the two of them were examining the contents of one of the crates they had opened. Del jerked his head back around to Buck. "Run!" he mouthed.

Buck didn't need to be told twice. As fast as he could he jumped to his feet and darted around the edge of the building. Unfortunately, for them when Buck started running, Fred jumped up as well. With a booming bark he tore off after his master.

"What the…" Del heard the harbor master start to say something but didn't wait around to hear the rest. Knowing Fred would have called attention to them Del wasted no time in jumping up and running after Buck. As he got to his feet, he gave a pile of smaller crates a hard shove, hoping it would create enough of a diversion for him to get away. As the crates hit the dock the harbor master started cursing, but that was of no concern to Del. All he cared about was that he had slipped around the hut's corner without getting caught. He was soon on Buck's heels and the two of them started to run back towards town.

* * *

The docks had never been John Parker's favorite place to go. Something about them always made him feel extremely awkward and out of place. Maybe it was simply being around so many men who had chosen to spend their lives going up and down that river time and time and time again. Why anyone would do that was beyond him, but maybe that was just the dirt farmer in him coming out. But he supposed someone had to work the boats that carried people and goods north and south, just like someone had to keep law and order. The first task may have, thankfully, fallen to someone else, but the second one was entirely on him, and when the sheriff's office had received word of suspected vandalism at the docks, he had little choice but to investigate.

When he arrived that afternoon, he'd been pointed in the direction of the harbor master's office, and that was where productivity had ended. For nearly an hour, Parker had set in the office and listened to the man tell only of his suspicions. There was little, if any, real evidence that anything out of the ordinary was going on. The best information the man could offer was that over the past few days some of the cargo that had come though looked as though someone _might_ have tried to get into them. Throughout the talk Parker tried to be as accommodating as he could but he quickly came to the conclusion there wasn't really anything he could do. The man hadn't seen anyone messing around with anything and so far there was nothing missing. As this information slowly came out Parker started to wonder why he was wasting his time down here.

Seeing that he was getting nowhere with talk, Parker finally made the suggestion they go look at some of the suspicious crates. Fortunately, Hyde, the harbor master had agreed. Unfortunately, the investigation didn't yield any more information than John had already been given. Granted there were a few crates that had a few banged up spots on them but as far as Parker could tell they weren't made by anyone trying to get into them. As he examined yet another crate, that didn't look like there was anything wrong with it, Parker sighed. "Mr. Hyde, I really don't.." Parker paused as something caught his eye. A dog had darted out from behind some crates and then quickly ran back. A dog that looked a lot like Fred. He couldn't be sure though. He'd only seen a flash of the animal, and Fred wasn't the only hound dog in town. Shaking his head some Parker turned his attention back to the harbor master. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hyde. As I was saying, I really don't know what you want me to do. Without any proof that anything has happened there's not much I can help with."

His words had little effect on the man however, and Hyde continued to argue something was wrong until John offered to inventory one of the crates.

John blew out a breath as he took the proffered crow bar from Hyde and pried the top off one of the crates. Checking the contents of the shipment was a pointless exercise as far as could tell, but he knew the man wouldn't shut up until he'd done all he could to prove nothing was amiss. So he dug through the crate while Hyde read from a manifest. Getting through most of the shipment Parker turned back to the harbor master. "Mr. Hyde, as far as I can tell there is nothing wrong. Everything is here."

Hyde seemed to consider that. "It does seem that way, don't it?"

"Yes," John told him emphatically, trying hard to not sound as exasperated as he felt. "I think…" The howling bark of a hound dog cut through the air and both men whirled around, Parker turning fast enough to see the dog run around the side of a hut. And looking more like Fred than ever.

"What the…" Hyde was cut off when a stack of small crates toppled over. And no sooner had the crates fell than a boy jumped up and ran off after the dog, disappearing behind the same building.

For a brief moment Parker simply stared. There was something not right here. The boy that he'd seen could have been Del. And the dog had looked like Fred. And if Del and Fred were here, that meant Buck was too. That posed a couple of problems. One, the boys had no business being down here to start with. Two, they should be in school this time of the day.

He turned back to the harbor master who was mumbling curses under his breath and once again looking like he was sure there was something going on. But now Parker was sure there was something going on, but he still didn't think it had anything to do with cargo. Just as before he set about trying to assure the man there was no problem, while making a mental note that there was something he needed to discuss with the boys next time he saw them.

* * *

Buck and Del were nearly half-way back to town before they slowed from their run.

"That was close," Del said with a grin after he'd gotten his breath back.

"You can say that again," Buck mumbled. "Do you think he saw us?"

Del chuckled. "Course not. How could he?"

Again Buck had the feeling Del wasn't nearly as sure as he tried to sound. But Del was probably right. They hadn't physically gotten caught, and Buck was pretty sure if John had seen or recognized them, they would have already known about it. Following that train of thought it didn't take Buck long to convince himself they had gotten away with their latest romp. And as soon as he believed it, he couldn't help but grin himself. There had been something kind of fun about today. "You're probably right," he told his friend.

"Yep."

"Maybe we shouldn't go back for a few days though," Buck added after a moment. It had been fun, but Buck didn't think he wanted to have fun like that every day. And it had been a very, very close call.

Del shrugged. "Okay." Truthfully, he didn't know if he was up for that much _fun_ either.

For a few minutes they walked along in silence, both contemplating their unexpected mishap and narrow escape. Del finally broke the silence by pulling a cigar out of his pocket. "Look what I got," he announced proudly, completely changing the subject.

Buck's eyes winded. "Where'd you get that?"

"From Turtle. I asked him if they were any good and he said I should try one." He passed the cigar over to Buck with some flourish.

"Are you gonna smoke it?"

"What else would we do with it?"

"We?" Buck asked curiously, wondering if he'd heard right.

"Yeah," Del answered. "If you want to that is."

Buck grinned. "Yeah, I want to. When we gonna do it."

Del seemed to think. "How 'bout tomorrow? It 'll give us something to do since we're not going to the docks."

"Alright." Buck's grin widened at the thought. He had to admit; since they had met Turtle he'd been a little interested in cigars too. The thrill of having a cigar tomorrow made the prospect of not going to the docks for a few days seem less bad.

Coming to the fork where they often separated, Del turned to go home. "See you tomorrow," he said grinning, clearly giddy about trying the cigar as well. Buck waved and continued down the road that would take him a town only to be stopped with a yell. "Buck, wait."

Buck looked back to his friend. "What?"

Del came running up to him. "You better go by the sheriff's office before you go home," he advised.

"Why? John ain't there…"

"Probably. But what he's back?" Buck's mouth opened in a silent "oh". "And," Del went on. "If he's not there you can still say you went by the office and he wasn't there. Just in case anyone asks."

"You're right," Buck exclaimed, suddenly realizing it wouldn't do for John to be back in the office and him not to come by. "Thanks, Del. I'll see you tomorrow."

Again the boys parted ways and Buck immediately went by the office. It turned out John wasn't back yet and Buck was actually relived he wouldn't have to see the man today. He didn't think after what had happened at the docks he'd be able to be in such close quarters with John and pretend nothing had happened. Seeing the empty office Buck gratefully ran home, slipping in through the back door.

It was a little earlier than he usually came home, and Mama was in the kitchen when he went in. "What are you doing home so early?" she asked kissing the top of his head.

Buck shrugged. "Del had chores to do and John wasn't in."

Ida smiled. "Well, I guess that means you can get started on _your_ chores."

Buck started to protest but thought better of it. Better not cause any trouble today, just in case John had seen something. "Yes, ma'am," he answered simply.

Ida was surprised, but pleased, at his response. Buck had been doing much better the past few weeks about doing what he was supposed to at home but she didn't know if it had ever been that easy. And as far she knew there hadn't been anymore trouble at school either. "Thank you," she said kissing him again. "I'll have your supper ready in a couple of hours. When you finish your chores you can play until then, but I want you in by supper."

Buck nodded and hurried upstairs to get started on his work. The sooner he finished, the sooner he could get back to doing something interesting. Finishing up as quickly as he could, Buck ran out to where Fred was faithfully waiting. Sighing contentedly, Buck flopped down on the ground by the hound. As he set there rubbing Fred he couldn't help but feel very pleased with himself. The last few weeks he'd been worried about how to make Mama and John proud and and still have fun, but he was starting to think maybe it wasn't that big a deal. Lately, he'd managed to make both Mama and John happy with him, keep Mr. Harper from getting mad while he was at school, and still manage to play hooky and visit the docks with Del. Maybe getting everything he wanted wasn't so hard after all.

**A/N: Another chapter ready for all my wonderful Buck fans. Thanks for reading and a special thank you to all of you who left reviews to my last chapter. Hope you enjoyed:)**


	12. Runaways

Two days after the incident at the docks Ida, was in the barroom checking the drink stocks and getting things ready for the night ahead. Every night at the Palace was liable to be hectic but Saturdays were guaranteed to be. It was on days like today Ida was thankful Buck had a friend like Del. She still thought the boy was something of a trouble maker and that perhaps he held a little too much sway over Buck, but she was glad Buck had him. There weren't many people like the Givens who would allow their son such close association with the son of a prostitute, and she wasn't sure why they did, but she was grateful for it. Especially at times like today when Buck didn't have school to keep him occupied.

Buck was getting older and Ida knew it was only a matter of time before he started asking questions and figuring out exactly what it was she did for a living. It was unavoidable, and Ida had spent the last nine years knowing it was something she would have to face eventually, but the truth of her profession was something she wanted to keep from him as long as she could. The more free time he spent at the Palace the harder that was to do, so she was more than happy to see him disappear with Del or John on his free days and have fun just being a boy. And running off with Del was exactly what Buck had done as soon as she had allowed it this morning. Now she could prepare for the night ahead without worrying about what Buck might see or do.

She was straightening some of the bottles and making a note of what needed to be replenished when Maggie come bouncing into the room. "Ida? There's a man here to see you," the young woman announced.

"Who?" Ida asked somewhat irritably. Rarely did she take a client during the day. Her regulars knew that and she didn't feel up to trying to deal with someone new at the moment.

"Neil Harper. He said it was about Buck."

"Harper?" Ida immediately stopped what she was doing and whirled around to face the younger woman. "Did he say why?"

Maggie shrugged. "Only that it was about Buck. Good thing too, he doesn't look your type at all. He's in the parlor. Looking very nervous I might add." The last statement was said with a sly grin.

Ida didn't like how the part about Buck sounded, but she couldn't help but smile some at Maggie's evaluation of the man. The Palace was a high end brothel and it had quite a reputation, but when all was said and done, it was still a whore house. She imagined the straight-laced teacher was more than a tad unnerved about being here, especially if he'd seen no one but Maggie. Ida had no delusions about what she was but when she wasn't working, she did try to look and behave somewhat properly. Maggie wasn't so consciences about it. The dress Ida was currently wearing was something that would not have been out of place at any polite social gathering, Maggie however…well, the girl was technically dressed but it certainly wasn't anything that would have been acceptable in any kind of proper company. And doubtless Maggie had flirted shamelessly with the poor man when he'd come in.

"Can you run to the cellar and bring these up?" Ida asked, indicating the list she'd made as she went over to Maggie.

"Mmm-hmm. Have fun," Maggie said giggling some.

Ida rolled her eyes as she passed her list off and went to find her son's teacher.

As Maggie had said, Harper was waiting in one of the parlors, looking more than a little nervous. "Mr. Harper," she said entering the room. "I understand you wanted to see me."

Harper jumped up. "Miss Wilmington. Yes I – I did."

Ida couldn't help but notice the man sounded relived. He was probably thrilled to see she was not only fully clothed but her attire was rather ladylike. She took a seat on a chair across from him and motioned to the settee the man had been on. "Won't you sit down?"

Harper visibly relaxed some more when he saw she intended to remain a good five feet from him. "Thank you."

Ida waited a moment but the man said nothing else. "I understand you had something you wanted to discuss. About Buck."

"Yes, ma'am." The man sighed. He no longer looked nervous, but truly troubled. "Miss Wilmington, I only wanted to know if you were aware of how much school Buck has missed the last few weeks."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Over the past few weeks, Buck has missed several of his lessons. On a few occasions, he hasn't been present for opening role, but mostly it seems to be his habit to leave before the day ends, usually after lunch. I realize that sometimes there are circumstances at home which can affect attendance, and if that's the case…."

Ida shook her head. "No, Mr. Harper. There's…there's no reason for it."

"I didn't imagine there was. Del Givens mostly keeps the same schedule."

Ida closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She couldn't help but wonder who was responsible for these little escapades. Or maybe the boys were egging each other on. Either way, the news wasn't welcome. "Thank you for taking the time to tell me, Mr. Harper. I'll discuss it with Buck. You won't have any more problems."

"It's no trouble, Miss Wilmington." The man looked around the room and suddenly seemed to get nervous again. No doubt the look had reminded him of exactly where he was and who he was with. "If you excuse me, Miss Wilmington," he said all but jumping to his feet. "I also have to talk to the Givens today."

She smiled, feeling a twinge of sympathy for the man. "Of course. Let me show you out." She thought that he was going to refuse but instead he simply nodded. When they reached the foyer she retrieved his hat and opened the door. "Thank you again, Mr. Harper. As I said, we will work the matter out."

For the first time she actually saw the man smile, even though it seemed a little forced. "Buck really is a good boy, Miss Wilmington. I hope you don't believe I think otherwise."

Idea smiled, touched by the sincerity in the man's tone. "Thank you, Mr. Harper."

The smile became a little less forced. "Good day, Ma'am."

"Good day." After Ida shut the door behind the man she leaned against it, trying to think through everything she just been told. She had thought Buck was doing so well in school, now to find out that he hadn't been going….She shook her head. She needed to talk to John. Now.

* * *

By Saturday morning Parker still had not seen Buck. The afternoon before he had again been called away from the office, this time for a fight in one of the saloons. Two men had gotten thoroughly drunk and both decided they wanted to keep company with the same dancer. As for the girl, it wasn't in her job description to keep the kind of company they'd been looking for and she'd had no qualms about telling them so. From there it had escalated until a good dozen men had been involved. By the time Parker was back at the office and able to warily sink into his chair, it was well after dark and much too late for Buck to be out.

He hadn't minded missing another visit with Buck since he'd spent the night riding herd on the two drunks, who had spent the night in the cells comfortably sleeping off any remaining fight they had, and being alone had given him plenty of time to think about what had happened at the docks. The incident had been eating at him since it had happened and the more he thought about it the more he was certain he'd seen Del and Fred. He knew he needed to talk to Buck but that would happen soon enough. He figured this morning, Buck would be somewhere raising cane with Del, but he fully expected Buck to make an appearance sometime today. As long as he didn't have to break up any more fights, that talk should happen before the day was out.

Slouching down in his chair, John propped his feet up on the desk top. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night and planned on catching up on what he could before Buck did stop by. Sighing, he closed his eyes. Just as the office door flew open.

"John!"

Startled, Parker dropped his feet back on the floor and jumped up, relaxing some when he recognized Ida.

"I have to tal…" Ida stopped suddenly, her eyes widening. "What happened to you?"

"What? Oh! There was a dust up in a saloon last night." By the time he managed to get the mess sorted out, he ended up sporting a black eye, compliments of the dancer. The girl had adamantly claimed she hadn't been aiming at him when she throw the punch, but she had quite a right hook and had given him an impressive shiner.

"Are you alright?"

"Mmm-hmm. Just an occupational hazard, I've had worse." He didn't see any reason to get into the nitty-gritty of the affair if Ida didn't push it. Nearly being put flat on his tail by a One-hundred-and-ten pound girl wasn't his proudest moment.

"Oh."

"You wanted to talk?"

Ida seemed to come back to herself. "Yes! Are we alone?" He nodded. Warily, Ida sank into one of the available chairs. "It's about Buck."

He moved around to the front of his desk, sitting on the edge. "Is he okay?"

"Maybe. Yes. I don't know." Ida sighed and shook her head. "Yes, he's fine. I think. Physically anyway, but… Mr. Harper came by to see me today." She sighed again. "He and Del have been skipping school. A lot."

John let out a sigh of his own. That tidbit of information answered the question he had about who he's seen at the docks earlier. He wondered if Ida knew about that. "What's he have to say about it?"

"He ran off with Del this morning and Mr. Harper just left. I haven't talked to him yet." Neither spoke for a moment; when Ida finally broke the silence her voice cracked slightly. "Why is he doing this, John? What am I doing wrong?"

"You're not doing anything wrong. He's just testing his limits."

"What if this is just the beginning?"

"Ida, we're not going to let it go that far. When he finds out he hasn't got away with it, it'll stop." Ida nodded vaguely, still fighting back tears. Personally, John thought she was overreacting a bit. Obviously, Buck wasn't just skipping school but blatantly defying his mother's wishes, and John absolutely thought Buck's recent behavior needed to stop, but he also thought that a few days of playing hooky wasn't likely to turn Buck into a master criminal. He also believed what he'd told Ida, once Buck realized he'd been found out, this would stop. Ida did need to know about the incident at the docks though. She already looked so distraught Parker hated to even bring it up, but he knew she needed to know. So, as much as he hated it, he told her about his time with the harbor master Thursday afternoon and what he thought he'd seen. A few tears did escape after that tale and John spent several minutes trying to calm her back down.

Finally, after he was able to convince her Buck wasn't going to be sent to prison today, she went back to the Palace, and John settled in to wait for a certain young man. A young man who had a lot of explaining to do.

* * *

It was early afternoon when Buck made it to the office. After two days of no trouble, he had almost forgotten about his close call at the docks two days before, but as soon as he entered the office he knew something was wrong. John was at his desk but he wasn't ready with his usual greeting, instead he had a very serious look on his face. When Buck saw that look he was tempted to turn around and leave, but he wasn't quick enough.

"Buck," the deputy addressed him before he could act. "Have a seat." The last bit was said with a nod towards the chair Buck normally occupied.

Buck hesitated just a bit, and then set down. He didn't think the deputy had been giving him an option. Once he was seated, Parker sighed and stood. As he had with Ida, Parker moved around the desk and set down on the edge. This time, right in front of Buck.

"Your mama came by today," the deputy started. Buck merely stared at the floor, silently chewing on his lip. "I didn't really like what she had to tell me." Buck felt a flush come to his face, having a pretty good idea of what Mama and John had talked about. "You want to tell me about it?" Parker went on. Still Buck didn't say anything. "Buck," Parker prompted.

"About what?" Buck finally asked, looking at the man for the first time and feigning innocence.

"Buck." There was a stern warning in Parker's voice. "I think you know about what."

Buck's eyes went back to the floor. He assumed John was talking about how much he and Del had been skipping school lately. Either that or John had seen him and Del yesterday. But if that was it, Mama wouldn't know about it. If she did his hide would have already been tanned. "About school?" he asked quietly, just to make sure. He didn't want to admit to something they didn't know anything about.

"I knew you were smart enough to figure it out. You want to tell me what's been going on?"

_"No!"_ Buck wanted to yell, but he knew better than that. "Weeelll…"

"Just so you know," Parker broke in. "You're going to have to repeat all this to your mama later, and the stories better match up."

In other words, Buck's explanation better be the truth, except Buck couldn't tell the truth. Not without getting in even more trouble. "Me and Del have been leaving school early."

"Yeah, I gathered that much. I like to know why?"

Buck shrugged. There really wasn't a reason. They may have gone to the docks when they left, but that wasn't really _why_ they left. It was just, they didn't like school so why not leave? "I don't know," he finally mumbled.

"What do you do when you leave early?" John continued. He'd already decided not to confront Buck with what he knew. He decided to give Buck a chance to confess on his own. If he didn't, then Parker would ask.

The question was answered with another shrug. "Nothin' much. Usually we fish, or just play." Buck stared at the floor, hoping John wouldn't pick up the fact he was being less than honest.

John sighed; a little disappointed Buck had passed up his first opportunity. But when he'd been Buck's age, John couldn't say he would have done differently. "Buck you know better than that. You shouldn't be leaving school early; you shouldn't be skipping school at all."

"I know."

"I know you don't like Mr. Harper, Buck, but this isn't like you. Your mama was really upset today after Mr. Harper talked to her." Buck remained silent, offering no defense.

John no longer had any doubt about who he'd seen, and he was willing to bet that, given how the boys had made their escape, they had seen him as well. They must know there was a least a small chance he'd seen them. Clearing his throat, Parker gave Buck another chance to confess. "Is there anything else you want to tell me? About why you've been skipping school?"

Buck was now refusing to look at him and stubbornly shook his head. Parker didn't think he'd ever seen anyone look so guilty before. "Buck, look at me," he said quietly. It was harder to lie to someone when you were starting them in the eye. Again Buck shook his head. "Buck." Parker put an extra edge of authority in his voice that finally drove Buck's eyes upward. "Is there anything you want to tell me?" he asked again, softening his voice.

For a moment John thought Buck would break. He thought he saw a flash of panic as Buck swallowed hard_. _"Something about what the two of you have been doing?" C_ome on, son._ He thought. Just_ come clean and tell me_. The silent pleading did no good, however. Buck's eyes hardened again, followed by yet another shake of his head.

"Nope."

John sighed, he had been hoping Buck would tell him everything of his own accord, but Parker was willing to get a bit more direct though. "Buck, I was down at the docks a couple of days ago, and I saw somebody who looked a lot like Del. He had a dog with him who looked a lot like Fred." Buck shifted in his chair, that panicky look coming back. "Do you know anything about that?"

Again Buck's head shook. "No."

Buck was lying to him. John had been expecting that, although hoping for something different, but he still felt a pang when he realized that Buck was really lying to him. He was actually a little surprised at how much that simple fact bothered him. Straightening, John sighed again. "Alright. If you're sure there's nothing else I need to know you better run along home. Your Mama's waiting to talk to you."

Buck jumped up and hurried to the door. Right now all he wanted was to get away from the deputy and his questions. Before he got out the door, John stopped him. "Buck." Reluctantly, Buck turned. "She's waiting. Go home." Buck didn't answer; he merely nodded before rushing out the door.

* * *

Buck stood on the boardwalk outside the sheriff's office, nearly in a panic. John was mad at him, he knew he was. In all the time he'd known the man, he'd never been mad at him before. And if John was mad, Mama would be furious. He took a tentative glance to his right, the direction of the Crystal Palace. John had told him to go straight home, he'd told him Mama was expecting him home, but he just couldn't face her, not yet. The anticipation of what was likely to happen when he got home wouldn't let Buck go to the Palace. Instead, he ran across the street, and in the opposite direction of the Palace. A few minutes later he was at the Givens place. Buck ran around the back to the barn, relived to find Del inside and alone.

"I'm in trouble," was all he said as he ran up to his friend. Del didn't reply, he simply continued to clean that stall he was working on. "Mr. Harper talked to Mama today," Buck went on. "She knows we've been skippin' school."

This time Del nodded slowly. "He came here too."

"Are you in trouble?"

"Of course I'm in trouble. I don't know how much though. We ain't talked about it yet; Pa said we'd do that tonight. What about you?"

"I ain't been home yet," Buck admitted. "But I went to see John and Mama's been to talk to him. He was mad, Del! And if John's mad, Mama's gonna be really mad."

"Did he see us?"

"I think so," Buck responded glumly, knowing Del was asking about the docks.

Del angrily kicked at the barn wall, dropping one of Turtle's more colorful words. "We should've known we'd get caught."

Buck agreed with a slight nod. Yes, they should have known. What had made them think Mr. Harper wouldn't notice they were missing when everyone came in from lunch? And why had they thought he wouldn't tell their parents eventually? He plopped down on a bale of hay, winching with the sudden thought that soon the simple act of sitting down would probably be pretty unpleasant. He was willing to bet that he and Mama would be having a very long, very serious _talk_ later tonight. "What are we gonna do?" Buck whined, again looking to Del to give him the answer.

"Nothing we can do," Del scoffed. "They already know. And I don't know 'bout you but I ain't gonna be able to talk _my_ way out of it." Del went back to cleaning and Buck stayed quiet. "What will your mama say when you get home?" Del asked after a while.

Buck shrugged, fidgeting some, the whipping that was undoubtedly in his near future still foremost in his mind. "I ain't going home," Buck suddenly declared.

Del stopped working and turned around, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not going home," Buck repeated. "I can't. John was mad at me, Del. He's never been mad at me before. If he's mad at me how mad do you think Mama's going to be?"

"But you have to home. I mean eventually."

Buck started shaking his head. "Nope. I not. I can't. I'm running away." The idea had only just occurred to him but it sounded like a pretty good one to Buck, as good as any of Del's plans anyway.

Del continued to stare at him in disbelief. "Where you running away to?"

"I – I don't know. But somewhere. Maybe I'll go west and look for gold or work for one of those big ranches."

"But you can't just run away."

"But I can't go home."

Del put his pitchfork down and set down next to Buck. "You got a plan?"

"Welll,…No. You?"

"It won't work."

"We don't have to stay gone forever. Just long enough so they ain't mad anymore."

"I don't know, Buck."

"Please, Del. I can't go home. Mama will…I can't."

Del worried his lip with his teeth a minute. "We could take Red," he said slowly, nodding to one of the horses. "He can carry us two of us."

Buck looked to the horse and then back to Del, a smile slowly growing. Del was going to do it. "So what do we do?"

"We'll need to take food."

"Can you get some?"

"Maybe." Del sighed. "Look, Pa said we weren't gonna talk about anything till after supper, and Mama usually has supper ready about dark. Go home, or somewhere, and wait. Come back in about an hour or so. We'll leave then."

Buck grinned. "Thanks, Del."

Buck wasn't sure about going home, so he didn't. Instead he went down by the creek with Fred and waited. When he thought about an hour had passed, he started back towards the Givens place. When he got there Del was a little ways from the barn, waiting with the big red horse.

"Did you get everything?"

Del nodded as he climbed up on the horse. "I think so. I got some blankets out of the barn, and when Ma went out to talk to Pa I was able to get some bread and cheese, and Pa had some jerky too."

That sounded good enough to Buck. "So, where we going?" he asked as he got up behind Del.

"Ummm," Del looked around and finally pointed south west. "That way."


	13. The First Night

For the first few hours Buck's plan went exactly the way he thought it would. He and Del excitedly chatted about where they could go, what they could do, and how long they would stay gone. And they agreed on nothing. Buck figured a ranch would be a good place to go while Del had been intrigued by the prospect of gold, specifically in California. As for how long they should stay, Buck thought three or four years ought to be sufficient, Del thought that was a bit long. Finally Del agreed to go to work with Buck but only so they could get money to go to California, and Buck admitted four years might not be necessary. But he did think Del ought to seriously consider at least three.

Once those decisions were made things didn't seen as urgent as before. The boys still talked but the topics were more in keeping with their normal conversations and for some reason riding farther and farther away from home didn't seem as exciting when they weren't discussing big ranches or goldfields. Even Fred seemed to lose interest in them and would often disappear for several minutes at a time. Then the sun started to set and things got even less appealing. It suddenly occurred to Buck that they had been riding for hours and they were now farther away from home than he'd ever been. He wasn't entirely sure he liked it either.

"How much longer are we going to go?" he asked.

Del pulled Red up and looked around. "I guess we should find someplace to camp," he said. "It'll be dark soon."

Buck glanced around. "There ain't much out here, is there?" Del silently shook his head and urged the horse forward again.

They rode on for another few minutes before Del again stopped the horse. "I reckon this is as good a place as any," he said. Nothing about the landscape had changed and it didn't look as though it was going to any time soon.

Buck slide off Red, and Del dropped the blankets and saddle bags down to him before jumping off the horse himself. For a moment both of them just stood, looking around them. They were all alone out here, really alone, surrounded by miles of nothing. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. "I guess we need a fire?" Buck asked. It seemed like a good place to start, they had built a fire when he'd gone camping with John anyway.

"Yeah," said Del. "I guess." Buck started chewing on his lip. Del was supposed to know more about this, wasn't he? Finally Del snapped out of whatever daze he'd been in. "Alright, go see if you can find something to start a fire with. I'll take care of Red and join you."

"Right." Buck ran off to find some wood, more at ease now that Del had taken charge again. He had starting thinking this had all been a mistake and Del wasn't any better at this than he was. Now, he was thinking they might make it after all.

Just like he said, once Red was unsaddled Del joined Buck in his search and they quickly found what they thought would be enough wood for the night. Returning to where they had left Red, Del got to work trying to start their fire. It took a few tries but eventually he was able to get a small flame going and it didn't take long a decent sized fire to build up. Afterwards Del pulled out the food, and they ate their fill, although eating all they wanted cost them more than half their rations. After eating they both rolled up in a blanket. It was a little earlier than either one of them usually went to bed but now that it was dark there wasn't much to do out here besides sleep.

For a while Buck lay quietly, stroking Fred and staring into the fire. He wondered what Mama was doing. He wondered if she was mad at him. He wondered too if John was still mad and if maybe he would be glad Buck had gone. "Del?" he asked. "Are you asleep?"

"No." It didn't sound as though Del was anywhere near being asleep.

"Do you think they miss us yet?"

Del was silent for a long moment. "I don't know," he finally answered.

They lapsed into another long silence before Buck spoke again. "Where are we going tomorrow?"

"Kansas I guess."

"Think they'll miss us by the time we get to Kansas?"

"Maybe."

"Miss us enough so they won't be mad anymore?"

"I don't know. Does this mean you don't want to stay gone three years anymore?"

"Maybe. When are we leaving tomorrow?"

"Dawn?"

Buck nodded although Del couldn't see him. "I suppose we should go to sleep than."

"Yep."

Buck sighed and inched closer to Fred as silence again took hold of their camp. Nothing else was said the rest of the night but Buck didn't go to sleep right away. In fact, he didn't go to sleep for quite some time. Instead he lay there and thought about Mama and John and home and wondered if he really did want to go to California or even Kansas.

* * *

John Parker had stupidly believed when he sent Buck home the situation of the boys skipping school would soon be resolved. He had ever confidence in what he'd told Ida earlier. Once they found out they weren't going to get away with it, the shenanigans would stop. He figured he would say something about the incident at the docks next time he saw Buck, maybe give him a stern talking to about his lying, and they would all move on with their lives. Maybe it wasn't stupidity as much as lack of experience, but he certainly wasn't expecting Ida to burst into his office, for the second time that day, just after sundown with the news Buck had yet to make it home.

"What do you mean he didn't come home?" he asked, after getting a near hysterical Ida somewhat settled down.

"He hasn't come home," Ida snapped. "What else would I mean?" Closing her eyes she took a deep breath. When she spoke again she seemed calmer. "He's supposed to be home by dark but I haven't seen him since he left this morning."

"He was here early this afternoon. I told him to go home." John started pacing, not liking the thoughts coming to mind.

"Did you talk to him? About school?"

"I told you had come to talk to me. That was about all that was said." For the next several moments the room was silent, neither one wanting to say what they were thinking.

"Do you think he's hiding somewhere?" Ida finally asked.

John stopped pacing and leaned against his desk. "I hope so," he told her. If that wasn't the case then something had happened, and as much as John didn't want to think Buck would have run off again, he wanted the alternative even less.

"So where do we begin. There are dozens of places he could be."

A starting point was something John was certain about. "I think I should talk to the Givens first," he finally said. "See if he's been around there today. Maybe see about Del."

"You think he's with Del?"

"I think it the best place to start; they're usually together in the shenanigans. And if the Givens have been having the same problem with Del…." John was cut off by the door to the office opening again. This time it was Hank and Esther Givens. Hank looked concerned and there were tears in Easter's eyes.

Givens' gaze went from Ida to the deputy and back again. He acknowledged Ida with a nod before turning his attention to the deputy. "If you came to see the sheriff, he's not here," John huffed, his worry making the words come out a little sharper than he intended.

"Actually, Mr. Parker, we came to see you."

"Oh." John straightened and tried to look a little more professional. "What can I do for you?"

Hank looked back to Ida, whose eyes were still red from crying earlier. He sighed heavily. "It's our boy, Del. He was…well, he's supposed to be home by dark but we haven't seen him since this afternoon. We've looked around but…we haven't been able to find him yet." At that statement Esther burst into tears and Ida inhaled sharply. "We think he might have ran off."

John glanced over to Ida. "I think he's with Del," he said answering the question she'd asked before the Givens had entered.

"Buck's gone too?" The words came from Givens and it was hard to tell if he meant them as a question or a statement, but John knew the man already knew the answer. He nodded an affirmation anyway. Again Givens sighed and Esther warily sank into an empty chair, burying her face in her hands. "One of our horses is missing as well," Hank added.

John looked back to Ida who was once again fighting back tears. "That helps."

"Does it?" Givens asked.

John's eyes traveled between the two women. He really hated what he was about to say. "Well, I think it a pretty good indication that they're not in town anymore. Which reduces the number of places to look."

"Makes sense," Givens said.

"So, now that we knew that what do we do?!" Ida demanded.

Hank Givens blew out a low breath and John knew the man had realized the same thing he had, and he doubted the Givens wanted to say it aloud in front of the two women any more than he did. "I don't really think there's much we can do tonight." John told Ida.

Esther had been crying softly but when she heard that she jerked her head up. "What does that mean?" she all but shrieked. Ida may have lost her hysterical edge but Mrs. Givens was still very much in possession of her's.

"Esther…." Givens attempted to sooth his wife, but she quickly shook him off.

"What do you mean there's nothing we can do?!" she asked again, her tears quickly becoming sobs.

"_Tonight_," John stressed the word, wanting to settle the woman down as quickly as possible. "I don't think there's much we can do _tonight_."

Once more Hank attempted to calm his wife and this time he met with more success. Esther buried her face in her husband's shoulder and soon the sobs quieted. Once the atmosphere in the office had settled some John continued his explanation. "Mrs. Givens, I don't know when the last time you saw your son was, but it's been some time since either me or Ida has seen Buck. Chances are better than good that they left well before dark, which gives them a few hours head start. And if they have a horse, and it seems they do, they could have covered quite a few miles already. Now, we have no way of knowing which direction they left in and no way to track them in the dark. I don't think we'll be doing them any good if we just ride off and hope to stumble upon them." He looked right at Hank, glad that he wasn't alone and trying to deal with two very upset women. "I think the best thing to do, is wait for first light. It's doubtful they'll try to travel in the dark and when we have light, we should be able to find a trail."

"I agree," Hank said.

"So we sit here and do nothing till morning?" Ida was getting that unreasonable edge to her voice again.

John looked at the distraught woman and wished he could offer something more comforting then words. If they had been alone he probably would've offered his shoulder for Ida to cry on, but they weren't alone and in their present company he wasn't sure any physical gesture would be welcome or taken, by anyone, the way he intended. So he maintained his distance and gave her nothing but words. "Ida, there's not really another choice. They could have gone in any direction and personally I don't want to gamble on picking one at random and it end up being wrong."

"He's right, Miss Wilmington," Hank offered. "I think the boys are smart enough to stop for the night. I concur with Deputy Parker; we'll be better off waiting for first light."

Ida took a shuddering breath and nodded in resignation. She knew what the men were saying was true. Riding off tonight would likely be a waste of time for them and wouldn't get the boys home any faster.

John leaned against his desk again and tried to work out a plan for the next morning. "If they have one of your horses, they probably left from your place."

"That's what I was thinking," Hank added.

"Then I'll be over at dawn and we'll head out."

Hank got his wife to her feet and wrapped a protective arm around her. "Come out as soon as you're ready. No sense in waiting for dawn. The sooner we can leave the sooner they'll be back. You might want to take a look around too. See if you can find anything that will tell us something."

"Then I'll be out shortly."

Hank nodded as he and his wife started for the door. Before they left, Esther stopped and turned to Ida. "Miss Wilmington, you're more than welcome to come out as well. If you would like that is. Quite frankly the waiting will be easier with some company."

Ida was briefly shocked into silence at the offer. "Thank you, Mrs. Givens," she finally said with a slight smile. "I think I would enjoy the company as well."

The Givens left and John and Ida were once more alone. For a moment nothing was said, and then Ida breathed a laugh. "That was unexpected." She knew John would understand she was referring to Mrs. Givens invitation.

"They're good people."

"Yes." Allowing Del to play with Buck was one thing, inviting her into their home was something else. Thinking of Buck made her eyes tear up again. She took a deep breath and fought them back, she didn't want to a crying mess all night.

"You alright?"

Ida forced a small smile than shook her head. "No."

Now that they were alone John felt he could offer some of that practical comfort without anyone jumping to false conclusions. Putting an arm around Ida he pulled her into a hug.

Ida gratefully leaned against him as she lost her fight with her tears. "I want him home, John. I just want him home."

"I know," he told her resting his chin on her head. "And I'll find him. I promise."

* * *

Ida returned to the Palace only long enough to talk with Rita and explain the situation to her. As expected Rita not only consented to Ida being away until Buck was found, she insisted on it. When Ida brought up that her regulars wouldn't be happy with her absence Rita told her there were more important things and added with a smile that absence made the heart grow fonder.

After gathering a few personal items Ida went back to the jail where John was waiting to escort her to the Givens farm. They made most of the ride in silence; Ida too spent both mentally and emotionally for much talk and John still caught up with trying to make a plan for the morning. Once they arrived at the farm they found the Givens to be in very much the same frame of mind. Esther, like Ida, was mostly silent, her eyes still slightly red and puffy from crying, and Hank seemed just as contemplative as John.

No one slept that night. John and Hank spent most of the night outside and in the barn looking for anything that might give them some idea of where the boys had headed so they could ride out as soon as possible. As for the women, both of them had far too much nervous energy and anxiety to even consider sleeping. The men's efforts paid off however, and by the time the sun was beginning to lighten the sky they found signs that a horse had gone off to the north of the house. Having found what they were looking for they hurried back to get their horses and provisions and begin their search in earnest.

Esther and Ida came out of the house as they were making last minute preparations. Esther naturally went over to her husband and they conversed in low tones while John and Ida maintained a respectable distance from each other.

"Bring him home," Ida said softly her eyes shining with tears. "Please, John, just...bring him home."

"I already promised I would."

"Then be careful."

John gave her a crooked smile. "I always am." Seeing Givens give his wife a final kiss and swing up on his horse, John also jumped on his mount and looked down at Ida. "Get some rest, and try not to worry. I'll find him." He then looked to Hank. "Ready?"

Hank motioned to the north. "Lead on."

As they rode off in the direction they'd found the trail, John couldn't help but hope finding the boys was actually going to be as easy as he'd tried to make it sound.

**A/N: Hello to all my wonderful readers, I would like your advice again. How serious would y'all like to see John and Ida's relationship get? ****Originally, I planned for it to be strictly platonic but I've also toyed with the idea of it being a little more serious. Giving them a romance seems a little cliche but I want to know what you think. There could be some feelings, they could be one sided, or they could be nonexistent. I will say however that if there are any feelings between the two of them, I'm not going to let it amount to much of anything. Just tell me what you think. Thanks! **


	14. The Search

Ida was tired. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so weary, so drained. She wished she could get some of the rest John had told her she needed but at the moment that wasn't a possibility; her nerves were still wound too tightly for sleep. She felt as though her mind and her body were doing battle against one another, with her body craving sleep and her mind doggedly refusing the respite she was offering it. She imagined Esther was feeling much the same way. The woman hadn't been able to sit still since the men had left, even though Ida knew she must be just as tired as she herself was. Even now Esther was at the stove preparing a pot of tea, the second one this morning.

As Ida watched Esther, she wondered just what she was doing here. Ida truly appreciated the Givens' offer to stay at their home until the boys were found but now that John and Hank were gone she couldn't help but wonder if being here was the right thing. She knew eyebrows would be raised and tongues would wag when people found out she had been here, and they would find out. She wondered if Esther Givens truly understood what she had done by inviting her into her home. Esther could very well find herself a pariah in this town because Ida was here now. But even knowing that the woman would probably be better off, socially anyway, if she weren't here, Ida couldn't bring herself to leave. Rita and the other girls would be sympathetic to her plight, they all loved Buck dearly, but none of them would really understand how she felt. No one but a mother could begin to imagine what she was going through, and only a mother who was also waiting for her baby to come back to her could truly understand this terrible feeling. For that reason she found herself remaining at the small kitchen table and gratefully accepting the tea Esther offered, despite her head telling her everyone would be better off if she left.

"I appreciate you inviting me out here," Ida said, gratefully sipping the warm liquid.

"It's no trouble," Esther replied pouring a cup for herself and sitting down across from Ida. "I must confess my motives were somewhat selfish. I couldn't imagine being out here alone, just waiting, while Hank was looking for Del."

That was understandable; Ida couldn't imagine how awful that would be either. "They'll find them," she stated confidently.

"I don't doubt it, but the waiting is agonizing."

Ida understood that as well, the waiting was almost unbearable. But the boys only had at most a half-a-days head start. Surely it wouldn't take two grown men long to catch up to the boys who probably weren't exactly sure where they were going. She hoped not anyway. "May I ask you something, Mrs. Givens?" Ida asked. Ida didn't think she would be able to have anything that resembled a normal conversation with Esther until she had an answer to the question that had plagued her since Buck had met Del.

"Certainty, and please call me Esther."

Ida paused a moment, carefully considering her words before she spoke. "I'm grateful Buck has Del's friendship, but I do have to wonder, why do you allow it?"

Esther looked down at her cup before answering. "Buck is a boy," she stated. "I don't see why he should be deprived of friends and a childhood simply because his mother…works for a living."

"Thank you for putting it so delicately. Not many would bother."

Esther smiled slightly. "Ida, I don't know why you do the work you do, your reasons are your own, and I don't know the circumstances surrounding Buck's birth, those belong to you as well, but none of that has anything to do with Buck. He had no say in any of it; he shouldn't have to pay for any it."

Ida was stunned by what she'd just heard. The woman had made very valid points and Ida agreed with every one of them, but it was very few people, few who weren't anything like her anyway, that saw things in that light. "I couldn't agree more, but it is very…unusual for someone else to see it that way."

"I may have a slight advantage over most others," Esther said. She looked down at her tea and took a deep breath before continuing. "I suppose I'm a little more understanding because Hank's mother was never married. He's told me before how things were for him growing up. I hate to think of Buck having to live through all that when he's done nothing to deserve it."

Again Ida was taken by surprise; she never would have guessed that of the man. This new revelation gave her hope though; hope that Buck wouldn't be permanently scarred by her profession and what he'd grown up in. "Whatever your reasons, I'm glad you feel that way." Esther smiled. For a moment neither one spoke then Ida broached another sensitive topic. "My presence here could result in you and Hank becoming very unpopular in town. I know some already look unfavorably on Buck and Del's friendship."

Esther shook her head as she smiled sadly. "If your mere presence in my home causes someone to turn against me and Hank, well, I doubt they would be someone I'd care to associate with anyway."

Ida still wasn't certain the woman really understood what having asked her out here could mean but she would let it go. Esther didn't seem to have the slightest regret that she had asked Ida to stay and Ida didn't want to make an already bad situation, the boys running away, worse by constantly reminding the woman of her less than honorable profession so she turned the conversation in another direction. For the next few hours she and Esther talked about motherhood and the joys and trials that came with it. Ida immensely enjoyed the conversation. It wasn't often she had the opportunity to talk to another woman about child rearing. As much as the other girls loved Buck and supported her in any way they could, they weren't mothers, and there were some things that one just didn't understand until they had a child of their own.

Another pot of tea was made and the talk didn't cease until Ida found herself stifling a yawn. "I'm sorry," she apologized to the other woman. "I'm afraid last night is beginning to catch up with me."

"Please don't apologize," Esther said. "I'm sure some rest would do both of us some good. I should have thought of that before."

Ida didn't really want to sleep but her body was fast reaching a point of exhaustion. And Ida wasn't sure how long she would have a say in whether she slept or not; having been up well over twenty-four hours she knew she needed some rest. Thanking Esther again, for the hospitality, the company, and the tea she went to the room she'd been shown the night before, Del's by the look of it. As she looked around the boy's room she felt a pang. Del should be here now. And Buck should be at home. Taking a shuddering breath, Ida lay down on the bed and desperately tried to clear her mind so she could sleep. It was a task that was easier said than done. She believed with John out looking for him, Buck was in the most capable hands he could be in, but she still wanted him home. As she closed her eyes, Ida sent up a silent prayer that Buck would soon be back where he belonged.

* * *

Buck hadn't slept well. It had taken him what felt like hours to fall asleep and even then it had been a fitful slumber. He wondered how Del had slept but he didn't ask. He really didn't say much of anything to Del and the older boy was just as quiet. After dousing what was left of their fire, Del silently passed more of the bread and jerky to Buck and started saddling Red.

Buck ate the bread but stuffed the jerky back in the saddlebag and went to stand by Del. "Are we still goin' to Kansas?" Buck asked.

Del shrugged. "I guess. Where else would we go?"

Buck's answer was a shrug of his own. Where would they go? Buck thought about that. Kansas was about the only place there was to go so long as they were going west, and one thing they had agreed on yesterday was that west was the only direction they were traveling in. Buck supposed they could go to Texas but Kansas was much closer. It didn't really make sense to go to south before they went west. They could go home. Buck shook the thought off, they couldn't do that. Not yet anyway.

After Red was saddled Del looked his way. "Ready?"

"I guess." Buck wasn't sure he was ready but he didn't have much of a choice.

Once they were back on the Red and heading west again, Buck started to feel a little better. Things looked brighter in the light of day, on a horse, actually moving than they had last night when he'd felt so alone. Del must have felt the same way because he started talking again, not as much as yesterday but better than he had this morning. Several times throughout the day they stopped to play or just take a break as neither one was used to the long hours they'd spent on the horse the last two days. They often ate something every time they stopped and towards the end of the afternoon Buck started to notice there didn't seem to be a lot of food left.

"How long will it take to get to Kansas?" He asked Del. He had a feeling their food wasn't going to last to Kansas no matter when the trip ended.

Del looked around as though he might find the answer written somewhere. "I don't know. Another couple of days maybe."

Buck sighed. "We're going to need more food before then, aren't we?" Del didn't reply, just shrugged. "How close are we to a town?" Buck was starting to feel unsure again. The question about food seemed to have made Del nervous.

Again Del answered the only way he could. "I don't know." He hadn't said anything to Buck yet but he was starting to get a very bad feeling about all this. Their food would be gone tonight and he wasn't sure how they were going to get more. He had a little money but even money wouldn't do them any good if they couldn't find a town. And honestly, outside of west, he had no idea where they were or where they were going. "We'll find something," he told Buck with a smile. Buck didn't need to know he was nervous.

"Okay," Buck answered wondering if Del really knew what he was talking about. He had to believe Del was right though because that was his only choice.

"Come one," Del said, brightly. "We can still go a good ways today."

"Do we have to?" Buck asked.

"You don't what to?"

"We could stay hear a little while longer." Where they were was the best place they'd had stopped at since leaving town. There were a few trees for shade, plenty of lush grass for Red, and a small creek was even running through it. And going on meant getting further from home and Buck was no longer sure he wanted to do that. "There might even be some fish in the creek," he pointed out.

Del eyed the creek then turned to Buck with a grin. "You're right; I bet there are. Fish would be good for supper."

"And we could save some of our other food," Buck added.

Del nodded his approval. "Let's go," he said. Leaving Red ground hitched so he could graze some, Del, Buck, and Fred headed for the creek.

Their fishing expedition wasn't terribly successful but that didn't mean it was a waste of time. Both Buck and Del had lost their adventurous spirit over the past day but having some time just to play and have fun brought some of the fun and excitement back.

"Maybe we should just stay here tonight," Buck suggested as they went back to Red. They were both half soaked but in better spirits then they had been just hours before.

"That's not a bad idea. Why don't you look for something to burn and I'll take Red down to the creek and see if he wants some water."

Buck nodded his agreement and went in search of fuel while Del trotted off towards Red. He'd already stripped the saddle off the horse but he didn't need one to ride. He'd only just gotten tall enough to be able to mount bareback without any assistance and jumped up on Red's back without hesitation. He had to scramble a bit but managed to get up on the horse without too much trouble and no help at all. Feeling pretty proud of himself, Del urged the horse down towards the creek. Red obediently moved out but when Del tried to walk him past a bush, Red paused his ears going forward. After a brief hesitation, he sidestepped a little. Del gave the bush a glance. "Come on," he told the horse kicking him some. "There ain't nothin' there. And you've seen bushes before." When the horse didn't move Del kicked him again. "Come on!"

Red took a few slow, tentative steps, his ears still pointed forward when a large rabbit suddenly darted from out of the bush. Whinnying, Red jumped back his front hoofs leaving the ground slightly. "Whoa!" Del cried trying to calm Red, his legs automatically griping the horse tighter. "Easy boy. Easy." Red was snorting and dancing around but settled some. Del rubbed the red's neck a moment and asked him to move forward again. Red did, reluctantly. The horse was still on edge but Del wasn't worried; he'd calm down at the creek. Just as they got past the bush Del heard a shuffling coming from inside. He barely had time to register where the noise had come from before Red reared up on his hind legs with a shrill whinny. Del hadn't been expecting anything quite that sudden and the next thing he knew he was on the ground and Red was running off.

"Del!" Buck cried, returning just in time to see his friend hit the ground. His eyes then went to Red who was now running off, and much too far away for him to even think about catching. Deciding against trying to get Red he ran over to Del. "Are you okay?"

Del was just getting his breath back and could only nod silently. A different story came out when he tried to get up however. When Del tried to brace himself on his right hand pain shot up through his arm. "Owww!" Del cried cradling his arm.

Buck felt a rush of fear when he heard Del's yell. Their horse was gone, they were almost out of food, and now Del was hurt. What were they supposed to do? "Red's gone," Buck told Del unnecessarily as he helped him sit up. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

"Yeah," Del muttered, closing his eyes with a groan.

Looking back towards where Red had run off Buck sighed. He set down next to his friend, who still had his eyes tightly shut. "Does it hurt?"

"Uhh-huh."

Buck was expecting that but he hadn't really wanted to hear it. Even Fred seemed to know something was wrong and lay down by his master, gazing at the boys sadly. After several minutes of silence Buck risked another question. "What are we gonna do now?"

Del opened his eyes, groaning softly. "I don't know, Buck. Red might be close by, or he might not."

"We're almost out of food."

"Uhh-huh."

Buck sighed again and finally said what he wished he said two days ago. "Del, I want to go home." He really wished they'd never left at all. Whatever punishment he would've had to have faced at home couldn't be as bad as being out here alone, with nothing to eat and no way to get back.

"Me too," Del replied quietly. He knew they could start back tomorrow but it had taken them almost two days to get this far away, and they'd had a horse. On foot it would take them twice as long, at least, and their food was all but gone. Four days without anything to eat wasn't a pleasant prospect. Plus his arm was really hurting, and Pa would kill him if he came home without Red. Any excitement Del had felt about this adventure was now gone. Like Buck he just wanted to go home. "Did you find anything for the fire?" he asked, wincing when he felt an unpleasant twinge in his arm.

"Yeah."

"Do you think you can get a fire started?" No matter what either one of them wanted, they weren't going anywhere tonight. They might as well try to make camp as well as they could. At least they still had their blankets.

"Sure," Buck replied, glad to be able to do something. It took a little longer than it would have if Del had been doing it but Buck was finally able to get a flame started. After he got the fire going Buck spread the blankets out and set down next to Del again. "Do you want something to eat?" he asked. Del's eyes were shut again and he silently shook his head. "Does it hurt really bad?"

Del opened his eyes and set up straighter trying to look like he wasn't hurting as much as he actually was. "I'll be alright."

Buck decided he didn't want to eat either. Sitting down on his own blanket Buck called Fred over. When the hound came over to him, Buck wrapped an arm around him and leaned his head over on Fred. Everything would be alright. It had to be. "Don't worry, Del," he told his friend. "We'll go home tomorrow and we can get your arm looked at. And maybe Red will come back."

"Maybe," Del mumbled. He wished Red would come back, it would make getting home easier and Pa wouldn't be as mad if they had Red when they came home, but at the moment his arm was hurting too much to worry about it.

Nothing else was sad for some time. Del was hurting and didn't feel like talking so Buck kept quiet, his guilt slowly growing as he watched the sun set. This was all his fault. Del wouldn't be here if he hadn't of talked him into running away and Del wouldn't be hurt if they hadn't been out here. "I'm sorry, Del. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Del was curled up on his blanket and still cradling his arm but managed to give Buck a weak smile. "Not your fault," he told Buck. "Besides, we'll get home alright."

Buck smiled back. Again, Del's positive attitude had made things seem better. They would get home alright. Of course they would probably be in a lot more trouble when they got back than they would have been if they'd just stayed home, but Buck didn't even care anymore. He just wanted to be home.

* * *

The boys trail had been pretty easy to follow to start with. John and Hank had been able to follow their tracks without having to look too hard and made good time the first part of the day. Right before noon they had found where the boys had presumable made camp the night before, after that things got a bit more complicated. Before it seemed that Del and Buck had simply been trying to get away as fast as they could and their tracks had more or less gone in a straight line. After the camp however, the trail became more random, like the boys were riding with with no particular destination in mind. One thing was certain; it was getting harder to stay on the right trail.

"Any idea where they might be going?" John finally asked Hank. They had ridden in silence most of the day, talking only when it was necessary. It was a comfortable silence though, as though there was an unspoken, mutual agreement that they were dealing with something of the utmost importance and they couldn't be bothered by idle chatter.

"None. By the look of things, I don't think they're too sure of where they were going either."

John had to agree to that. The boys seemed to be heading in a general westerly direction but beyond that, they didn't appear to be going anywhere. Sighing, John looked up to the sky. They had maybe two more hours of good daylight left, and they still hadn't stumbled upon the boys. He could only hope the next two hours proved to be more fruitful than the rest of the day had been. "Alright, we ain't getting no closer sittin' around here."

"Then let's go," Hank replied, urging his horse on.

John quickly followed suit. Before tonight he hadn't known much about Del's father but was quickly deciding he liked the man. Even in light of the fact his son was missing, the man had remained calm and rational, a refreshing change from the hysterical women he'd had to deal with earlier. Another thing the man had in his favor was the fact that the whole time he'd been with Ida yesterday, he'd treated her like nothing but a lady. That alone told John more about the man than anything else. It never ceased to amaze him at the people who would act as through Ida were less than a woman simply because of the way she made her living. At times that treatment ran off on Buck, and John hated that more than he did with Ida. That was another thing he liked about the Givens. They allowed Del to be Buck's friend.

All too soon, darkness began to fall and any tracks the boys had left were lost in the dim light of dusk. John pulled his horse up. "You know the best thing to do would be to stop?" John said when he finally admitted to himself he couldn't see the trail as well as he needed to. Tracking in the dark was out of the question, and with only an idea of the direction the boys had went there was only so much they could do. The risks of missing something in the darkness were just too high to continue on in Parker's opinion.

Hank stopped his own mount and sighed. "I know."

There was a note of regret in Hank's voice that Parker understood all too well. He was worried sick about Buck, he couldn't imagine what it would be like for his actual son to be missing. "I know that's your son out there, and I'm not claiming to know how you feel…"

"Don't you?" Givens cut in.

Parker started at the question. "What?"

"Don't you know?" Hank asked cocking an eyebrow. "I would think with Buck out there you'd have a pretty good idea of exactly how I feel."

"Buck's not my son," Parker told him, the words sounding surprisingly bitter on his tongue.

Givens gave him a disbelieving look. "You're certainly not just a deputy looking for a couple of missing boys."

"I met Buck before I ever met Ida, and he was nearly six when I came to town," Parker informed him, an edge coming to his voice. He'd heard things like that before. People were either stupid, they couldn't count, or they had very short memories.

"I didn't mean to imply anything. I was only suggesting you're very close to him."

John believed him. The Givens hadn't come to town until after he had, maybe the assumption wasn't wholly unwarranted. "I didn't mean to be so short. But it wouldn't be the first time the implication's been made."

"Well, some people never were good at arithmetic."

John smiled some then took a deep breath. "I assure you, if I had any claim to Buck, his mother wouldn't be in a bordello."

"I don't doubt that." Parker didn't have a reply for that so he remained quiet. It wasn't long before Hank spoke again. "He may not have come from you, but I'll wager you still have a fairly good notion of how I feel."

A faint smile came to John's face. "If your gut's twisted up and you're almost sick from worry, I guess I do."

Hank chuckled humorlessly. "That's it."

"It's not easy is it? Bringing up a kid?"

"It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's worth it."

"I believe that." Buck wasn't John's son but he had changed his life. He'd had no idea what he'd been getting into that day nearly four years ago when he'd seen that little boy get knocked down on the boardwalk.

The darkness around them was growing and Hank finally swung down off his horse. "Well, if we're going to stop we might as well stop."

John also got dismounted. "We'll get 'em tomorrow, Hank. They can't be that far ahead of us anymore."

"I hope not. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to see that boy of mine again."

Again, John didn't answer but he couldn't help but think that Hank was right. John was ready to see his boy again too.


	15. The Journey Home

Buck was up at daylight the next morning. He'd had another fitful night of sleep and by the time the sun came up he didn't think he could stand to lie still a minute longer. He wanted to go home, and he wanted to get there as soon as possible. Unfortunately, Del wasn't feeling as well as Buck. He was talking even less today than he had last night, and he still hadn't gotten up from his blanket. He hadn't wanted to eat either, but Buck pestered him until he finally took some jerky.

Buck had been hoping things would look better in the light of day. They didn't. Actually, things seemed to be worse. Del was still hurting, really hurting, their food was gone, and Red hadn't come back. Without a horse, their only option for getting home was to walk and Buck soon realized what Del had the day before. It would take them almost twice as long to get home on foot, and that was a long way to go without anything to eat. And then there was the saddle. Buck hadn't thought about that last night, but they had to get Red's saddle back home somehow. Mr. Givens would already be upset about the loss of his horse; Buck didn't want to not take his saddle home too. But without a horse to put it on, they would have to carry it. Buck wasn't sure he could do that; it took almost everything Del had to get it on Red. And now that Del only had one arm he wasn't going to be much help with the saddle, plus Del needed his arm looked at. Buck didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Buck rolled up his bedding and went to where Del was still laying. "What should we do, Del?" He asked as he set down, Fred immediately plopping down beside him. "About getting home I mean."

Del finally set up, although he was still holding his arm close. "I don't know, Buck. Without Red…"

Buck started gnawing on his lip. They couldn't do it. They couldn't walk home without food and Del needed a doctor. They couldn't stay here either though. "Do you think we should start back?"

"I don't know," Del groaned as he lay back down. "I really don't care."

Buck was starting to feel completely helpless. He'd known last night this had all been a big mistake, but he hadn't anticipated on things getting worse than they had been. He just wanted to go home. "I sorry about this, Del. I'm sorry I talked you into coming with me."

"I didn't have to come," Del mumbled.

Buck sighed, leaning his head over on Fred. More than anything he wished they could just be home…now.

Hearing Buck's forlorn sigh, Del glanced up at his younger friend. It was obvious that Buck was miserable. He knew Buck trusted him to be the leader. It wasn't something Del necessarily wanted to do all the time, he didn't feel like doing it now, but he knew he should say something to Buck. "Maybe somebody's lookin' for us."

Buck gave him a quizzical look. "Do you really think so?"

"I hope so." The ever present ache in his arm seemed to increase. Groaning, Del curled up smaller, drawing his arm closer. "We can start back in a little while, Buck. I just don't feel like walking right now."

Buck sighed again. He wished Del was right and someone was looking for them, John maybe. He doubted that were true though. After all the trouble he'd been lately, why would John still want him around?

* * *

The next morning, Hank and John were both up before the sun and ready to move out as soon as it was light enough to see. Neither had said it, but John knew Hank felt exactly as he did; the boys were close and were going to find them today. And John, for one, had no intention of stopping until they did.

They continued to follow the trail Del and Buck had left, again heading west but somewhat erratically. John was looking at the tracks, marveling that the boys had managed to cover as much ground as they had, when Hank shouted at his name. John jerked his head up in time to see Hank lope past him. Stunned, he followed Hank's horse with his eyes and then saw what the other man had, what he was now running towards. Standing a couple of hundred yards from them was a big red horse, grazing contentedly. Immediately John followed. He wasn't sure but judging from the way Hank had shot off, he'd bet this was the "Red" the boys had gone off on. By the time John had caught up to Hank, Givens was already off his horse and looking the red over. The horse was bridled but saddleless and seemed to be in good health.

"Red?" John asked the man who was nervously examining the horse. Hank merely nodded. "They have a saddle?"

Hank finally came to a stop. "Yeah, they did. Saddlebags too."

He looked up at John and the deputy clearly saw the renewed worry in the man's eyes. This was Givens' horse, but where was his saddle? More importantly, where were his riders? John looked around in a vain hope that the riders in question would be nearby, just waiting to be found. There was nothing though. Just the same emptiness they'd been looking at for nearly two days.

"Think he may have wandered off during the night?" John asked, knowing even as he said it that the explanation for the horse being here alone wasn't that simple.

Hank was shaking his head before the question was even finished. "Del may be reckless in a lot of things, but he knows how to take care of a horse."

John nodded, he'd been figuring on that. "Alright, let's start back-tracking him and see where he leads us," he said pointing to Red as he spoke. He was hoping the horse hadn't been gone too long and they would make better time following the horse than the boy's old trail.

Hank grabbed the reins of the red and swung back on his horse, following behind the deputy.

John was relieved to find the trail fairly clear, and for nearly three hours they followed it until John heard a familiar booming bark. He glanced over to Hank. "You recognize that?"

"Fred?" Hank queried.

"I think so," John replied with a grin. Wherever Fred was, the boys couldn't be far off. "Fred!" he called, kicking his horse up into a lope. Again the bark sounded, and again he called the hound. A moment later the black and tan appeared. Dropping to the ground, Fred wagged his tail in large circles while the deputy approached.

When he got close, John dismounted and dropped to a knee in front of Fred. "Hey, boy," he said scratching behind one of the dog's ears. "Where's the boys?" Fred cocked his head to one side as if he actually understood the words. "Where are they, Fred?" Fred suddenly jumped up and ran off. John glanced back at Hank. "Let's go."

Hank looked a little disbelieving but followed anyway. Fred had already disappeared from sight and John called out. "Buck!" Fred barked again and the men followed the sound. "Buck!"

"John!"

John looked at Hank with a grin before he loped his horse in the direction of the voice. Turning the corner Fred had disappeared behind, John found Buck waiting.

When Buck saw the deputy he broke into a grin. He waited until John had slowed his horse then went running up to the man. "John," he cried throwing his arms him as soon as he'd dismounted. Buck was so relieved to see the deputy he didn't care what consequences he was going to face when he got home. "Del said you would come."

"Where is Del?" John asked dropping down to Buck's level.

"Over there." Buck motioned off to his right.

John followed Buck's gesture and saw Del sitting by a small fire. The boy looked well enough so he'd leave him to Hank for now. He focused his attention back on Buck. "Are you alright?"

Buck nodded, but his grin vanished; worry and guilt took its place as he chewed on his lip. "Del's hurt though."

"What's wrong?" Hank demanded, having caught up just in time to hear that.

"I don't know!" Buck cried. "It's his arm. He fell off Red yesterday." Given's hurried off to where his son was. John watched the two of them. From where he set Del seemed if not all right, at least whole. It didn't look as though he was immediately needed so he let Hank take care of his son and turned his attention to Buck.

"You're sure you're alright?" he asked again looking Buck over.

Buck nodded. "I'm fine. I'm hungry though."

John laughed with relief. Giving an answer like that he was sure Buck was alright, it also made him wonder if Buck had any idea of just how much worry he had caused or how much trouble he was actually in. A long talk was definitely in order, but it could wait. The first order of business was to get the boys home.

Dropping an arm around Buck's shoulders he steered the boy over to where Hank was looking at his son's arm. Del's wrist was puffy, discolored, and looked extremely painful. "What's the prognosis," John asked knelling down beside the other man.

"I don't think it's broken but I want the doc to look at it. I'll wrap it as best I can before we leave."

John nodded his understanding. Everyone would breathe a lot easier when it was confirmed that Del was indeed alright. "Ready to go home?" he asked looking to Buck.

"Yes!"

"How 'bout you, boy?" That was from Hank, directed to his son. Del didn't say anything but nodded solemnly. It seemed they had both had more than enough adventure for the time being.

* * *

Hank stayed with Del, wrapping his wrist and rigging up a sling for him, while John got Red saddled and packed again. As soon as they had completed their respective tasks, they started out. Del rode with Hank, who ponyed the red behind him and Buck stayed with John. Most of this ride was made in silence too; much like the last two days had been for the two men. John wasn't sure, but he suspected the boys' unusual silence was due to Del's injury and Buck's guilty feelings. At least, Buck had looked pretty guilty earlier.

They rode all day, stopping only when necessary and eating lunch in the saddle, but by nightfall it was becoming obvious Del was really starting to hurt. Personally, John would have liked to have rode on until they got home, but there was no point in making Del suffer any more than he had to. Reluctantly, camp was made. Del continued to keep quiet and stayed close to his father, while Buck went off by himself to the edge of camp. Once they finished a quick supper Hank and Del settled in for the night and John went over to where Buck was sitting.

Smiling slightly, John set beside the boy. So far neither he nor Buck had said anything about the boys running away or what the reason behind it had been and John wasn't looking for an explanation now. "How you feelin'?" he asked as he set down. He wasn't sure how much of this had been Buck's idea, but the boy's load of guilt seemed to be growing by the minute.

Buck simply shrugged. "I'm sorry Del got hurt," he said after a long pause.

"Del getting hurt wasn't your fault. And he'll be fine once we get home."

Buck chanced a look at the deputy. "I'm sorry we ran off."

"I know you are, but we won't talk about that now; I think your mama needs to be around for that." Buck nodded meekly, wrapping his arms around his knees. "There is something I do want to talk to you about though," John continued, making the decision to bring the bit about the docks up. Last night he'd told Hank about what had happened at the river. He'd let the Givens work that out with Del however they wanted to, and the docks might be something Ida would what address with Buck as well, but _he_ wanted to talk to Buck about his lying and now was as good a time as any to settle it.

"What?"

"I want you to tell me what you and Del were doing down at the docks Thursday." Buck suddenly went ashen. "I'd also like to know why you lied to me when I asked you about it earlier."

If possible, Buck curled up even smaller. Part of him had known John had seen them but he'd been hoping nothing else would be said about the docks. He figured there would be enough trouble with school and then running away, he didn't want Mama and John to have any more reason to be mad at him.

"Hey," John said, reaching over a giving the back of Buck's neck a gentle squeeze. "Talk to me, Buck."

"I didn't want you to be mad at me," Buck finally mumbled. That confession opened the floodgates and the words suddenly came tumbling out. "Mama was mad and you were mad about what Mama told you and if I'd told you about the docks you would have been more mad and I was afraid you wouldn't want me come around anymore and…"

"Buck!" John cut into the frenzy of words. "Calm down, son." Buck stopped. His breath was coming in heaves and tears were shining in his eyes. "I'm not mad, Buck. I wasn't mad the other day I was…disappointed." Buck started chewing on his lip. "Why were you at the docks?"

"Talkin' to Turtle."

"Who's Turtle?"

Buck sighed. "A man me and Del met one day. He's an old sailor and he talks to me and Del about the river and New Orleans and Memphis, and St. Louis."

John grunted in response. He could only imagine what those talks were like. "So, that's why y'all have been gonna to the docks? To talk to…Turtle." Buck nodded. "Alright, why didn't you tell me that the other day? Why did you feel like you needed to lie about it?"

Buck turned away as he wiped at his eyes. "Cause I didn't want you to get madder. I didn't want you to think that I was too much trouble and tell me you didn't want me anymore."

It hurt to think that Buck thought he could do anything to make John not want him around. Buck had a talent for trouble, true enough, but it just wasn't possible for him to find that much. John couldn't imagine what he would do without the boy in his life now. "Buck look at me," John said softly. Buck slowly turned his head, dread in his eyes. "There is nothing you could do that would make me think you were too much trouble. And I want you around me and nothing is going to change that. Do you understand?"

Buck dropped his eyes. "My pa didn't want me," he mumbled in a hreatbreakingly low tone.

"And he was a fool," John stated bluntly. He didn't know who Buck's father was. He didn't know how Ida had known him or how long she had known him. For all John knew Buck's father didn't even know he'd fathered a child. But none of that made any difference to Buck, he realized. All the boy knew was there was supposed to be a man in his life that wasn't there. Whatever the circumstances, Buck saw it as abandonment, as being unwanted. "I like to think I'm not a fool," he went on, smiling slightly. Buck almost returned the smile. "I'm going to want you around just as long as you want to be around. I may even want you around a little longer than that." That did bring out a smile. A small one, but a smile. "I also like to think that I can trust what you tell me to be the truth."

The smile disappeared. Buck again dropped his eyes, and again his teeth found his lip.

"You know you're gonna bit your lip off one day if you keep doing that," John told him.

The smile kind of returned. "I'm sorry I lied to you."

"I just don't want it to happen again, Buck. Now I've already told you that you're not going to be able to tell me anything to make me not want you, so there's no reason why you should ever be afraid to tell me anything. And I can promise your mama feels that way too."

"She does?"

"She does. You want to know something else about being man, Buck?"

Buck was suddenly interested. It had been a long time since John had told him anything about being a man. "Yeah."

"Being honest is a matter of honor. Honor is, at least is should be, very important to a man. You want to be a man that people know they can count on. You want to be a man that can say something and people know it's the truth, even people who may not like you. And if you get into the habit of being honest now, then when you grow up, it's going to be a whole lot easier. Like I said, I just don't want this lying thing to happen again."

"It won't. I promise it won't."

John looked into the blue eyes that were staring at him so intently, and believed him. There was genuine remorse in those eyes. "No, Buck, I don't think it will. Now, why don't you get some sleep? It's been a long day, we still got a long ride tomorrow, and the sooner you get to sleep the sooner we can leave. And I know your mama can't wait to see you."

Without another word, Buck wrapped up in his blanket and curled up beside John. At first John was surprised, but as soon as the shock left he was forced to admit he kind of liked it. After the last couple of days, it was nice having Buck close by where he could keep an eye on him. Smiling to himself John slouched down beside...his boy? He mentally shook himself, he didn't need to be thinking about that right now. Instead, he turned his thoughts to Ida and what things would be like tomorrow. Ida had told him before the Buck had a tender heart and everything John had seen since he'd been around the boy had proven that. Buck hated displeasing people he cared about and John had a feeling that it wasn't going to take much to have Buck completely broken about this whole mess. As a matter of fact he was kind of dreading having to see it.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! And a special thank you to those who have reviewed the last couple of chapters. I've been thinking a lot about what to do about John and Ida. Everyone seems to be okay with their relationship developing some so I'm going to let them go and see what happens. I will say, however, that I try to stick to cannon as much as I can so, I'm not planning on giving them a happily-ever-after. They will definitely toy with the possibility though and probably get a little happiness out of it. I hope this meets with everyone's satisfaction. Thanks again for reading. Y'all are the best!**


	16. Crime and Punishment

The next day preceded much the same way the previous one had. Del stayed with his father, Buck with John, and the talk was kept to a minimum. There was only one thought in everyone's mind and that was to get home; by that afternoon they had almost made it. Just outside of town, John offered to ride in and get the doctor so Hank could go ahead and get Del home. Hank was only too happy to accept. It was obvious Del was still in pain, and his father was in a hurry to get him home and as comfortable as he could as soon as possible. The offer was made for Buck to go back to the farm, and Ida, with the Givens, but Buck had only mumbled he'd stay with the deputy.

"Are you sure you don't want to go with Mr. Givens?" John asked again, just after they had split up. He had assumed Buck would want to see his mother.

"We're ridin' out with the doctor, ain't we?" Buck queried.

"Yes."

"I'll stay with you then."

John smiled to himself. There was the slightest bit of apprehension in Buck's voice. He probably was ready to see his mother, but he probably wasn't quite ready to face the consequences of his earlier decisions. The man's suspicions were confirmed when Buck spoke again.

"John, was mama mad when you left?"

John sighed. "She wasn't mad, but she was upset. She's been really worried about you the last few days, Buck. You and Del gave all of us a pretty good scare."

"I didn't mea…" Buck stopped. He'd almost said he hadn't meant to worry anyone but the talk he'd had with John last night suddenly came to mind. It wasn't exactly honest to say that; he sort of had meant to worry them. Wasn't that what he'd told Del in the barn, that if they were missed long enough they wouldn't face any anger when they did go home? But he sort of hadn't meant to too. He had thought it would take a lot longer for them to be missed. Feeling a renewed sense of guilt Buck buried his face in the deputy's back.

John felt Buck's head up fall against his back. "What?" he asked turning his head as much as he could to try and get a look at Buck. He was curious as to what Buck had been intending to say and why he'd stopped.

There was a long pause and John didn't think he was going to get an answer, but suddenly Buck replied. "I didn't want mama to be sad, but I did want her to miss me. I told Del if we stayed gone long enough they everyone would miss us and they wouldn't be mad about us skipping school."

John sighed heavily, shaking his head. He'd imagined Buck's explanation was going to be something along those lines. At ten-years-old, it was doubtful Buck understood everything about actions and consequences yet, but still. Between skipping school, visiting the docks, and running away had Buck honestly believed he was going to get off scot-free? "We'll talk about it later," he said quietly.

Buck didn't say anything else and John let the silence ride. Buck was sorry about what he'd done, John didn't doubt that. He saw no reason to tell the boy what he'd done was wrong when Buck already know it. And Ida needed to be present for any discussion. Maybe Buck was more than just a boy to him, but what he'd told Hank was true, Buck wasn't his son. He knew Ida appreciated the help he gave her, but he didn't want to overstep his bounds in the discipline department.

When they reached the town, John was relieved to find the doctor was not only in, but available to go to the Givens at once. Doc Henry told them it would take a few minutes to get his things together as well as hitch his wagon up, so he sent the deputy and his young friend on to the farm, promising to be along shortly. Having done his duty, John wasted no time getting back on the road. Ida would know from Hank that her son was safe, but Parker was in a hurry to get Buck back to her just the same.

"John?" Buck asked when the Givens' home came into sight.

"Yes, Buck?" John could sense a slight difference in the boy.

"I'm in a lot of trouble ain't I?"

"Do you think you did anything to deserve being in a lot of trouble?"

John felt Buck's head nodding against his back. "And I gotta own up to it, right?" he asked in an agonized tone.

John smiled. The boy was growing up. "That would be the right thing to do."

"It was my idea," Buck blurted out suddenly.

"What was your idea?"

"Running away. It was my idea. Del didn't want to go, but I talked him into it. Everything that happened was my fault."

John pulled his horse up. As much as he could, he turned around to see Buck. "Buck, I've already told you; what happened with Red and Del wasn't your fault. It just happened. As for everything else, just tell Id…your mother the truth."

"She's not gonna like it."

"Probably not, but she loves you, Buck. Nothing's gonna change that. Now, more than likely you're gonna be punished, but I think it'll be a lot easier for you if you just tell her the truth. About everything."

"Will you stay with me?" Buck asked quietly. "Until we gotta go home anyway?"

John smiled. "Yeah, I'll stay until you go home. Now, there is someone who I'm sure is very anxious to see you. Are you ready to see her?"

Buck sighed. He was nervous about seeing Mama again, or rather nervous about the trouble he knew was waiting for him, but he did want to see her. He'd missed her while he was on his adventure. He gave John a sheepish smile. "Yeah."

* * *

Ida's heart skipped a beat when saw John ride into the Givens' yard with Buck sitting behind him. She'd learned her son was safe about an hour ago when Hank had ridden in with Del, but hearing he was well and seeing it with her own eyes wasn't quite the same thing.

"Buck!" she called rushing out to meet the duo.

The second John helped him off the horse; Ida swooped down on her son. Wrapping her arms around him she held on as though she never intended to let go. "I was so worried about you," she told him, wishing that he wasn't too big for her to pick up now. Feeling Buck's own grip tighten, Ida squeezed him even harder, relishing the way it felt to hold him again and doing nothing to stop the tears that were quickly filling her eyes. She released him only when her desire to look at him overcame wanting to hold him. Pulling back some she dropped to her knees and looked up at him. "Are you alright?" she asked. Buck nodded mutely.

Pushing his hair back, Ida cupped his cheeks and looked into those beautiful blue eyes of his. A fresh wave of tears came and again she pulled him into another embrace. The past four days had been a torment for her. Not knowing where he'd been, how far he'd gone, when John was going to bring him back, if he'd been safe. She closed her eyes against all the terrible things she hadn't been able to stop herself from thinking about the last few days and concentrated on Buck. He was here, with her, where he was meant to be, and he was all in one piece, safe and sound. When she felt Buck start to squirm she released him from the hug.

Once there was some distance between them again, Ida's hands went to Buck's shoulders. She still needed some physical contact to reassure her nerves. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine."

Ida couldn't take her eyes off him. What would she have done of something had happened to him? She didn't think she'd be able to handle losing him for good. Her breath hitched slightly as her eyes welled up once more. "Buck Wilmington, don't you ever do that to me again!"

Buck's own eyes teared up. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, Buck." Again Buck found himself enveloped in a hug as Ida kissed the top of his head.

"Are you mad?" Buck asked, his voice somewhat muffled from the embrace.

Ida couldn't help but smile. Buck was so tenderhearted and loving; he made being angry extremely difficult. She pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I'm not mad. I am upset about some things, things we need to discuss, but we'll talk about that later. Right now, I'm just glad you're home." Fresh tears welled up as she looked at him and Ida couldn't keep herself from pulling him into another hug. There was no way she could talk about school or the docks right now; she was still too emotional.

"Is Del alright?" Buck finally asked wiggling out of the latest embrace.

Ida attempted to dry her eyes once again. "He will be. The doctor's on his way?"

The question was directed at the deputy who nodded an affirmation. "Should be along in a few minutes."

"Can we stay and see what he says?" Buck asked.

Ida stood keeping one arm securely around her son. "Yes. And I'd like for him to have a look at you as well."

"I'm fine," Buck protested.

"I'd like to hear that from him," she told him again kissing his head. "Let's go inside and wait."

They had barely gotten back inside when the doctor arrived. It wasn't long before the man had been ushered inside and shown to the first of his two young patients. The doctor quickly checked Del over and then turned his attention the boy's arm. After some experimental movement and palpating the doctor declared Del's arm wasn't broken, or rather the bone wasn't fractured that he could feel. The injury wasn't characteristic of a sprain however so he treated it like a break, complete with splinting it up and ordering absolute rest for the limb for at least the next two weeks. Given that Del had gone some time without being properly treated and had been through quite a bit of stress the last three days, the doctor didn't want to take any chances. He was confident, however, that as long as Del used a sling and took it easy for the next few weeks he would heal up fine.

Hank and Esther naturally stayed with their son while the doctor examined him, but the others remained in the kitchen, waiting for both news about Del and Buck's turn to play patient. Ida and Buck set at the table, Buck glancing towards Del's bedroom every few seconds, and Ida still maintaining almost constant contact with Buck. Meanwhile, John hung back wondering why he was here. He'd told Buck he would stay so he didn't dare leave, but really he had no business being here. He'd done his duty; he'd found the boys, got them home, his work was done. Still, even if he hadn't promised Buck, he didn't think he could have made himself leave.

It wasn't long before Hank and Doc Henry entered the kitchen. The older man immediately went over to Buck and Ida, and Hank moved over by John.

"He's gonna be fine," he told the deputy, referring to Del. "Doc thinks it might be a minor break. He's gotta rest it for a while, but I'm sure in a few weeks him and Buck will be back to their old shenanigans."

John chuckled. "That's good to hear. Let's just hope they won't be quite the same old shenanigans."

Hank looked over at Buck, who was unhappily enduring a brief examination. "Very true. I have a feeling the same ole, same ole may lose some appeal during the next few weeks."

"I think that may be true for both of them."

"Let's hope so anyway. Thanks for everything, John," Hank said offering his hand.

John accepted the proffered hand. "Just doin' my job."

Hank's eyes briefly cut over to Buck. "Uhh-huh," he grunted, smiling in a way the told the deputy the man still didn't quite believe that. "Thanks again."

Hank left the deputy then and retrieved something from a cabinet before slipping back into Del's room.

As soon as the other man was gone, Ida rose, leaving the doctor talking to Buck and came to stand beside John.

"Thank you isn't nearly enough, but I don't know what else to say," she told him.

John shook his head. "You don't have to say anything." He gave her a half-smile. "The look on your face when I brought him in said plenty."

Ida chuckled some. "Thank you anyway. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here."

John shrugged. "If I hadn't been here, somebody else would have done it." No one, he doubted even Cranford, would have not looked for the boys.

"I suppose. Are you heading back soon?"

"Yeah, as soon as I say good-bye to Buck. Since I've been gone, I'm sure the paperwork been piling up. Lord knows our illustrious sheriff isn't gonna do it."

Ida bit back a smile; she knew enough about John's work to know how much truth was in that statement. Silence fell between them as they both watched Buck and the doctor. "John?" Ida suddenly asked. "After you go to the office, would you mind coming over? I'd like to talk with you about Buck," she quickly added wanting to make sure he had the right idea.

John gave that half-smile of his again. "Sure."

"Thank you. And…." She stopped.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind if Buck and I rode back into town with you?"

"Of course not," he said, wondering why she'd hesitated. He should have made the offer anyway.

"We can leave as soon as Buck's finished."

"I'll get the horses ready."

John soon had the animals ready to go, and Ida had the doctor's assurance Buck was indeed just fine. Buck didn't argue when his mother told him it was time to go -he knew better than that- but she could tell he didn't want to leave. No doubt he assumed going home meant the discussion about his recent grievances, as well as the subsequent sentencing, was at hand. Only Ida didn't plan on any of that happening tonight. Tonight she planned on putting Buck to bed as soon as they got home. She still didn't feel like she could talk about what had happened in a calm rational manner, and honestly she wasn't sure how she should discipline Buck. That Buck needed some kind of reprimand for his recent actions wasn't in question, Ida simply wasn't sure what the best way to handle it would be. That was why she'd asked John to come over, so she could get some advice. She knew how much John cared about Buck and she respected the man's opinion.

Before leaving, Ida let Buck say good-bye the Del. The boys tried to drag out their farewell as long as they could, but the adults soon stepped in and Buck was left with no choice but to leave with his mother. Again, he rode with John and left the man only when they reached the Palace and Ida sent him in to get ready for bed. To Buck's credit, he once again obeyed without argument, although Ida suspected his sudden compliance was due to him trying to get into her good graces before their talk. John told her he would be back later that evening and Ida went to Buck's room where she was surprised to see him already in the bed. Sitting up with his arms around his knees, but in bed.

She set down beside him and began brushing her fingers through his hair. "I'm so glad you're home."

Buck's eyes misted over. "I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't… it wa…I'm sorry."

Ida pulled him in close. "I know you are, Buck. But you have no idea how frightened I was. I was afraid something would happen to one of you. Just like something did happen to Del, only I was afraid of something much more serious."

Buck didn't say anything else. He simply returned her embrace as she held him. After a few minutes Ida loosened her grip and Buck pulled away. "We have a lot we need to talk about, Buck," she continued. "But I'd like to do that tomorrow after we've both had a good night sleep."

Buck looked a little unsure, like he didn't know if the delay was a good thing or not. "Alright," he said quietly.

Ida gave him another quick hug before kissing him once more and tucking him in. Turning down the light she went back to her own room to wait for John.

* * *

John was feeling a little unsure as he went to the Palace that night. He couldn't help but wonder what might be said if he was seen going into the brothel this time of night. The only visit he'd ever made during regular "working hours" was when Buck had wondered off the first time, but that had been official business not … well, he wasn't sure what this was. It wasn't pleasure certainly, but it wasn't for work either. John had never been one to care too much about what people thought, but talk concerning his and Ida's relationship wasn't unheard of. Something like this could make that talk a lot worse. In the end it didn't matter what anyone thought, he realized, he would do it for her anyway.

As he stepped through the door John was met by a girl he didn't recognize.

"Can I help you?" she asked. She was younger than Ida, looking to be in her early twenties. Her auburn curls were about half-tamed, with most of them pinned back, although a good many were hanging around her shoulders as well. She flashed him a flirty smile and stopped a little closer to him than most people would have. Her blue dress, if one wanted to call it that, perfectly complimented her dark auburn hair as well as showcased her ample breasts.

"Ida," he said taking a step back to get some more distance between them. "I'm here to see to Ida Wilmington."

Her smile lost some of its luster. "Figures." She nodded towards the stairs. "Upstairs. To the right, last door."

"Thank you." He started up the stairs.

"If you need help with anything else…" John stopped and turned causing her smile to come back in full force. "Be sure to let me know."

"Yes, ma'am."

Throwing him a wink she sashayed back into the barroom.

John blew out a breath feeling liked he'd just escaped something and continued up the stairs. Arriving at the door the girl had told him was Ida's he knocked lightly. It was opened almost immediately.

"Good evening," Ida said opening the door wider to let him in.

"Evenin'." He was pleased to see looking in much better spirits than she had the last few days; he was positive the fact her son was now safely in bed had a good deal to do with that.

"Sit down," she said motioning to the settee. After he was seated, Ida poured two glasses of wine. "I wanted to talk about Buck," she said handing him a glass and taking a seat next to him.

"What about him?"

"I wanted your opinion on what I should do. About this situation? He certainly needs to be punished in some way but there are so many things to consider. It's not just school, he's been disobeying me about the docks, and all his sneaking around, and then running away and scaring everyone half to death."

John silently studied his wine while Ida spoke, when she finished he took a deep breath. "You want my honest opinion?"

"I wouldn't have asked you to come if I didn't."

"Well, as far as running away goes. Talk about it, then leave it."

"Leave it?"

"Uhh-huh. I saw him out there Ida; he was scared. I think Mother Nature and Red together showed them all too well the folly of that decision. He feels bad enough about it; I don't think he needs anymore punishment than that."

Ida took a drink before nodding. "What about school? And his jaunts to the docks? Normally, I'd think a good spanking would straighten him up but now…"

"It doesn't seem like enough?" John finished as Ida trailed off.

"You don't have to make it sound like I want him to suffer."

John smiled. "Sorry, maybe that wasn't the best wording. You would like the punishment to fit the crime?" he suggested.

"Yes," Ida sighed. Buck had been breaking so many rules for so long she wanted to make sure whatever correction he received would be memorable. She set her glass down as she leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees. "What should I do?"

John studied Ida. She was starting to get the same worried look she's had when she'd come to talk to him about Buck's troubles a few days ago. He didn't like that look, he preferred the expression she'd had when he'd first arrived. "First of all, you need to relax. He's home and he's safe. As for his punishment, we'll think of something." He picked her wine glass back up and offered it to her.

Ida looked at him for a long moment before she finally smiled a little. "Alright," she said taking the glass. "What did you have in mind, Mr. Parker?"

* * *

The next day Buck and Ida did have their talk, much to Buck's displeasure. The whipping Buck feared he was going to get never happened, although by the time his mother had finished detailing his punishment he almost wished it had. At least that way it would have been over quickly, as it was he ended up spending the next few weeks paying for the time he'd spent running wild.

The first part of his punishment ended up being the hardest to deal with; not being able to see Del for the next month. He did still see him at school of course, but because of his arm the older boy had been out for nearly two weeks. When Del finally did come back, even Mr. Harper seemed to be in on the boy's penalty. They were no longer allowed to sit together, and both had to stay after classes every day and help clean up. It was also quickly established that there would be no more skipping school, not without serious consequences anyway. It wasn't fun not being able to play with his friend, and it was even less fun that he had to spend more time with his teacher than usual, but Buck could have probably dealt with both of them alright had his chastisement ended there. It hadn't though, Mama had done even more.

Buck had also given more chores to do at home every day – lots more on the days he wasn't in school – and his days with John were taken away. When everything was said and done, the only thing outside of chores and school that Buck was allowed during those weeks had been his visits to the sheriff's office. Buck had been grateful to be able to do something that didn't involve cleaning either home or school, but John hadn't let him off any easier than Mama or Mr. Harper had. Thanks to the deputy, the visits to the office soon also became more work than anything.

Buck's restrictions lasted until the end of the school year, and by the time he was free to really play and run around again he'd come to some conclusions. One: he was never, never going to run away again. Two: he wasn't in a hurry to skip school again any time soon. And three: he would have to think long and hard, very long and very hard, before he wondered back to the docks.

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. I've been trying to get this story updated for over a week. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy.**


	17. Close but no Cigar

"I wish there was something to do," Buck complained flopping back on the grass next to Fred. The hound dog moaned as though he agreed with his human. They had started the afternoon at the creek as usual, but the fish were refusing to bite today, and John was busy with sheriff work so doing anything with him was out of the question. So, after more than an hour of unsuccessful fishing they had ended up back at the Givens. At the moment, they were on the backside of the barn, sort of hiding from Del's pa. If the man got the notion that they didn't have anything to do he would find them something to do, and neither of them wanted that.

By the time Buck had been given his freedom again, he was more than ready for it; he was also more than a little cautious. After having spent weeks where it seemed he hadn't done anything but chores, and being extremely limited in how much he could see Del, he didn't want to do anything that might mess it up, for the first few days anyway. Since the school holidays had started he and Del had toed a pretty straight line, but it hadn't taken Buck long to discover that with all the free time they now had, it was sometimes hard to find things to occupy themselves with. Now that their main source of entertainment had been cut off, namely going to the docks, the days sometimes got long. A boy could only do so much fishing after all, and he had no desire to help anyone with any more cleaning than he absolutely had to.

"Something like what?" Del asked.

Buck shrugged "Anything." He would have suggested going to the docks, but the last few weeks without Del's company and nothing but chores and an occasional talk with John were still fresh in his mind. It would be some time before he suggested that outing again. The risk of getting caught was just too great.

For a few minutes, they sat in silence then Buck spoke up again. "Whatever happened to that cigar Turtle gave you?"

Del grimaced. "Lost it somewhere between here and Kansas."

"Wish we could get another one," Buck muttered.

"Don't know where we'd get one."

Buck had to agree. There weren't a lot of options for picking up a cigar. Del's pa didn't smoke, and he had no idea where the cigars at the Palace were kept.

"Maybe we could . . . ." Del started, but he was cut off by his mother yelling from the house. Del jumped up and ran around the barn. "Yes, Ma'am?"

"Would you and Buck like to go into town for me?"

Buck jumped and joined Del. "Yes, Ma'am," he called. Going to town for Del's ma was better than sitting here doing nothing.

Esther smiled. "Mr. Hodge ordered me some thread. Could you go down to the store and pick it up for me."

Del nodded. "Sure."

"Yes, Ma'am," Buck said at the same time.

Esther chuckled. "Well, run along."

They both took off down the road at a full run, Fred on their heels.

* * *

When they got to the store Del went over the counter and picked up the thread for his mother, and Buck started to wander around the store. Just a couple of minutes later Del hurried over to join him. "Buck," he whispered.

Buck glanced at his friend wondering why he had lowered his voice. "What?"

"Look on the counter."

"At what?" Buck asked as he scanned the counter searching for whatever it was Del had seen.

Del motioned him over around the bolts of fabric. "The cigars," he said when they were no longer standing in the middle of the store.

"What about them?"

"Well, you said you wanted one. There some are."

Buck didn't quite understand what Del was talking about. So there were cigars on the counter. What good did that do them? "So? We can't buy one."

"We wouldn't have to buy one," Del mumbled.

Buck's eyes widened. "You mean steal it?" he asked, hardly believing what his friend had just said.

"Do you have any money?" Del asked.

"No."

"I don't either, so how else are we supposed to get it?"

"But we can't!" Buck protested.

"You said you wanted one, and I can't think of another way."

Buck glanced at Mr. Hodge, who was helping a lady on the other side of the store; the man didn't seem to be paying any attention to them. He looked back to Del. "It ain't right to steal!" he whispered harshly.

"Shhh," Del hissed. Taking Buck's arm, Del pulled him towards the back of the store. "Don't be so loud," he warned.

"We can't," Buck repeated a little more quietly. "Do you know what would happen if we got caught?"

"We won't get caught. Look, alls we have to do is wait for Mr. Hodge to start helping someone. Then we just reach in and get one."

Buck looked back to the jar of cigars on the counter. "But . . . ."

"Buck, it ain't like stealin' somethin' big. It ain't gonna hurt anybody and they'll never know they're missing anyhow."

Buck sighed. It did sound pretty simple when Del said it that way. As long as Mr. Hodge was looking somewhere else it shouldn't be a problem. But if they did get caught. . . "Are you sure you can do it?"

Del took a deep breath before a cocky grin slide into place. "Yeah. All we need is one, just to try it. You want to, don't you?"

"Yeah…" Buck responded slowly, Del's cockiness starting to rub off on him.

"Then this is the only way I can think of."

"Alright," Buck conceded. "How we gonna do it?"

Del shrugged. He looked a little less certain about that part. "Ummm . . . ."

A cheeky grin of his own come to Buck's face. "I got an idea."

"Yeah?"

Buck nodded. "We both do it."

Del's eyes widened slightly at the suggestion. "What?" he hissed.

"If we're going to get one we might as well get two. Mr. Hodge is over there. When we walk out we both grab one. It won't be hard."

Del eyed the shop owner before his gaze drifted over to the cigars. He nodded as he looked back to Mr. Hodge. "Alright, I'll go first. Just follow behind a little ways."

Buck grinned, the thrill of what they were about to do getting to him. There was a nagging feeling telling him not to do it, but he pushed it back. Del was right; it wouldn't hurt anybody. And they wouldn't do it again. They just needed one . . . or two.

Del started walking out of the store. When he went past the jar on the counter he reached in and deftly pulled out a cigar and slid it into his pocket.

Buck swallowed back his nervousness; it was his turn now. He thought about just walking out without lifting a cigar; Del had one, and one was really all they needed. But his cockiness soon came back. It didn't look so hard. He glanced back at Mr. Hodge and saw that the man was still talking to the woman. Deciding it was now or never, Buck followed Del. He strolled past the counter just like his friend had. When he was even with the jar, Buck reached over and grabbed one. He also put it in his pocket and met Del at the door. They exchanged a smile, as Del reached for the door. Before he could pull it open, however Buck felt a hand land on his shoulder.

"Just where are you two going?" a voice demanded.

Feeling a knot settle in his stomach, Buck looked back to find a livid looking Mr. Hodge.

"Were you boys planning on paying for those?" the man demanded.

A lump jumped into Buck's throat keeping him from saying anything. "Ummmm . . . ." was all Del managed.

The man scoffed. "That's what I thought. Why don't we go see the sheriff about this?"

The storekeeper didn't give him and Del much of a chance to talk to one another on the way to the sheriff's office. Buck did manage to catch his friend's eye a few times and every time he did Del looked just as worried as he did, which wasn't very encouraging to Buck. He had hoped Del would have some way of fast talking them out of this, but judging by the look on his face, he didn't.

Panic had set in at the first mention of the sheriff and it only increased with each step they took towards the sheriff's office. John wasn't going to be happy about this. And John would tell Mama; she wouldn't be happy about it either. As a matter of fact, Buck was pretty sure she would clean his plow good when she found out. He looked to Del again and once more caught his eye. _"What do we do?" _Buck silently asked his friend. The answer he got was just as silent, but Buck understood it well enough. _"I don't know."_

* * *

To say John Parker was surprised to see Mr. Hodge walk through his door grasping Del and Buck firmly by the collars would be an understatement. He was shocked. He didn't know the shopkeeper very well, but he didn't strike him as an unfriendly man, at the moment however he looked downright livid. And the boys were both wearing looks that were a mix of fear, apprehension, and…guilt?

Standing up he walked around his desk. "Mr. Hodge. Can I do something for you?"

"Sure can. I got a couple of sticky-fingered, hooligans for you here," the man said giving both boys a glare. Del stared back trying his best to look defiant, but John noticed he wasn't quite making it. And Buck looked scared to death.

"Sticky-fingered? Would you mind expounding on that?" He didn't like the way that sounded but he was willing to give the boys the benefit of the doubt. He tried to catch Buck's eye but the boy was stubbornly refusing to look at him.

"Thieves," Hodge snapped.

"Thieves?" John felt a knot in his stomach at the word.

The shopkeeper finally released the boys and walked over to the desk where he placed two cigars. "Caught them trying to sneak out with those."

John closed his eyes briefly before he picked up one of the cigars. He'd thought they were done with all this. He rolled the cigar around in his fingers with a sigh. "Boys," he finally asked. "Y'all have anything to say about this?"

Del shook his head. "No, sir." Buck didn't answer.

"Buck?"

Buck swallowed hard and finally met his eyes. "No," he whispered.

"All right, Mr. Hodge." John focused his attention back on the shop owner. "I'll see that you receive full restitution for anything that was taken. I'll take it from here."

The man had calmed a great deal during the last few minutes and now seemed more like the reasonable man John was used to seeing. He gave the boys, who now looked properly chagrined, a glance and moved over closer to the deputy. "It's not so much what was taken," he said dropping his voice so the boys couldn't hear. "It's the principal. It all has to start somewhere."

Parker nodded. "I understand, and I agree. You'll be reimbursed nonetheless."

The shopkeeper gave him a knowing smile. "I appreciate it." Before walking out he looked to the two boys then back at the deputy. "Don't be too hard on them."

John also looked to the boys. "They'll both live."

The shopkeeper gave him a knowing smile. "Well, thank you for your help."

John sighed as the man left and then gave both boys a stern glare. "I'd like an explanation."

Neither Buck nor Del seemed too inclined to tell him much. Very little information was volunteered, what he did get was more in response to direct questions. After a while he decided he'd heard enough. He still didn't know all he wanted to but it seemed the boys had thought better of their cigar pilfering. John wasn't sure if the feeling was genuine remorse or simply the knowledge that they were once again facing an unpleasant reprimand, but either way it was a start. He finally motioned the boys up. "Alright, I think it's time for both of you to be getting' home."

Buck and Del exchanged a look full of dread but obediently stood and followed him out.

* * *

Buck was not looking forward to going home. He knew there was going to be trouble, serious trouble, and could only imagine a _talk_ in his near future. He consoled himself with the knowledge that at least he only had Mama to deal with. Before John took him back to the Palace they dropped Del off at home, and if the look a less-than-pleased Hank Givens had sent Del's way was any indication of how much trouble his friend was in, well, Buck was almost glad he didn't have a pa. Mama would be mad, and he was pretty sure he would end up getting a whipping, but that would be about it. Del he wasn't so sure about.

When they got back to the Palace, John set Buck down and quietly spoke to Jenny for a minute before taking a seat next to him. The man hadn't said a word since they had taken Del home, and Buck didn't like that. He'd known the deputy for over four years now and he'd never gotten the silent treatment before. Not when John had found out about the dock or skipping school; even when they'd run away John hadn't stopped talking to him.

After a few minutes of uneasy silence Buck couldn't take it anymore. "John?" he said hesitantly.

The deputy sighed heavily. "Yes, Buck?"

"I'm sorry."

"Alright, Buck."

"Are you mad at me?" Buck blurted out, almost afraid of what the answer would be.

John finally looked over. "I'm not happy. I thought you knew better than this."

Buck dropped his eyes unable to meet the deputy's. He did know better but…. He was spared from having to answer by his mother entering the hallway.

Ida hadn't known what to expect when Jenny had told her John had just come in and wanted to speak with her, but the somber looking deputy and a guilty Buck wasn't it. Something had happened she surmised, and it wasn't good. "What's this about, John?" she asked her eyes moving between the lawman and her son.

It was John that spoke up first. "Go on upstairs, Buck. I'd like to talk to your mama alone."

A look of dread washed over Buck's face and Ida was surprised when he didn't look to her for affirmation like he normally did when John told him to do something. Instead he obediently headed up the stairs not giving either of them a passing glance.

Ida watched as Buck trudged up the stairs looking for all the world like a man about to attend his own hanging. She turned worried eyes on Parker. "John, what's this about?" she once again asked.

"Nothing good, I'm afraid. Is there somewhere we can be alone?"

Ida nodded and led the way to one of the parlor rooms. Once inside, Ida closed the door and faced the deputy. "What is going on?" she demanded. Whatever John was going to tell her, Ida knew she wasn't going to like it.

John wearily ran a hand through his hair. "Buck and Del were caught trying to steal cigars from Hodge's store today."

"What?" Ida gasped.

"Hodge brought them to the office a little while ago. He caught them as they were walkin' out. Both of them had a cigar in their pocket."

Ida closed her eyes with a groan. "I thought we were done with all this."

John took her arm and led her to a settee. "I was hoping so too. Apparently it's going to take a little more though."

Ida sighed heavily. "Tell me what happened."

John told what he knew starting from the time the shopkeeper had drug the boys in until they had arrived at the Palace. Ida listened quietly, trying to make sense out of what she was hearing. She could understand how something like a cigar could be tempting to the boys, but why had they tried to steal one? And what made Buck think he could get away with it? Hadn't he learned anything the past few weeks?

When John finished his story, Ida took a deep breath, quickly making a decision about something. "John, I was wondering . . . would you be willing to do something for me? If you don't want to, I'll understand but . . . ."

"Ida," John gently broke in. "Just say it. Whatever it is, I'm here."

Ida smiled almost sadly. "You may not be so willing after you hear it."

"Well, why don't you go ahead and ask?"

Ida had to take another deep before she could ask the question that, if John said yes to, would likely change a great many things.

* * *

Buck set quietly in his room, trying to mentally prepare himself for the whipping he knew was coming. He knew he deserved it, and he knew he had been pretty fortunate to have escaped it for so long, but that didn't make waiting for it any easier.

He was surprised when it was John, not Mama, who entered the room. He been expecting Mama to come in, give him a good talking to, and then give him his spanking. He didn't know what John was doing.

John set on the bed next to Buck with a sigh. "You want to tell me what happened?"

"About what?" Buck asked.

"About what caused you and Del to start stealing things. Things like cigars." Buck shrugged. "That's not an answer, Buck" John told him sternly. It was disappointing to find out you and Del had been skipping school and sneaking down to the docks, and the two of you about scared us all to death when you ran off. Stealing is something else, Buck. Stealing against the law, and you both know that."

"We didn't mean anything by it. Honest. We wouldn't have done it again."

"Do you think that just because you say you wouldn't have done it again means you shouldn't be punished for it this time?"

Buck shook his head. It didn't matter what he thought, he wasn't getting out of this. Why was John talking to him anyway? If mama was going to spank him, and he was sure she was, why couldn't she just get it over with?

John sighed heavily. "Buck, your mama's downstairs; she'll be up in a little bit. She wanted us to have a talk first."

Buck squirmed some. Mama wanted them to _talk_? Did talking with John mean what talking with Mama did? He shifted in his seat again. He would swear his backside was already feeling what was to come.

"Do you know why you're in trouble, Buck?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I stole the cigar."

"Did you have a reason for doin' that?"

Buck sighed. "Not a good one."

John figured laughing at that wouldn't be helpful, but he had to fight to keep from it. "Do you have a bad reason?"

"We wanted a cigar."

John nodded. "What put that idea in your head?"

"Once when me and Del were going down to the docks, Turtle gave Del a cigar. We never got to smoke it cause Del lost it when we ran away. We wanted to try it so; we decided to get another one."

"Well, you're right; it's not a good reason. But I believe you, and I appreciate you being honest with me. Now, do you think you should be punished for that?"

"Ummm . . . probably?"

"Probably, huh?"

"Yes," Buck admitted begrudgingly.

John took a deep breath trying to think of the best way to explain what was about to happen. "How do you think your mama would punish you?"

"She'd whip me."

"She'd do that because she cares about you, Buck. I care about you too."

Buck looked over at the deputy and noticed for the first time that John had mama's belt. Mama wasn't going to spank him he realized, John was. He stared at the closest thing he had to a father and couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. Buck shook his head slightly. "No, please, John."

"I wish I didn't have to, Buck," John told him feeling heartsick. The look on Buck face was heartbreaking.

"Mama can do it," Buck protested. Spankings from Mama were bad enough; he didn't imagine John was going to be any better. In fact, he imagined it was going to be worse.

John shook his head. "She's not going to. Not this time."

"No. I won't do it again. I promise."

John sighed, doing his best to not let Buck's pleadings get the better of him. "Let's get it over with, Buck." _For both our sakes_, he slightly added.

Buck didn't fight him for which John was grateful, he didn't think he'd have been able to stand that, but he did protest and try to talk his out of his forthcoming punishment right up to the time the belt fell the first time. Buck then abandoned negotiations and focused more on not crying. He lost his battle remain stoic halfway through and once the first tear fell the rest of Buck's resolves crumbled. "I'm sorry," he managed through his tears as he tried to twist away from the deputy and the correction the belt was administrating to him. "I won't do it again."

A frim but gentle hand on his back stilled him. "We're almost done, Buck," the lawman told him.

John knew Buck would never believe it but he wanted this to be over just as much as Buck did. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that delivering Buck's whipping was one of the hardest things he'd ever done in his life, and when he'd given the final swat he almost sighed with relief. Buck was now almost sobbing and John was surprised to feel his own eyes burning. For a moment after laying the belt aside, John kept his distance. He was unsure if he should try to comfort Buck or just let him cry, and he found himself wishing Ida had mentioned something about that part before she sent him up here. Eventually he decided it wouldn't hurt a thing to let Buck know he was still loved. He barely touched Buck's shoulder before the boy spun around and throw his arms around him.

"I'm sorry," Buck sobbed burying his face in Parker's chest.

"I know," the deputy told him, after swallowing a lump in his throat. He remembered his father giving him the this-hurts-me-more-than-it-hurts-you speech every time he'd gotten a whipping as a boy. As a child, that had been the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. It had made more sense as he'd gotten older but it wasn't until this moment he really understood. The punishment he'd just delivered to Buck had been necessary, it had been something the boy had needed, and it had just about killed John to do it. It would soon be over though, John reminded himself. By morning this would be nothing but an unpleasant, hopefully teachable, memory.

As John set there letting Buck cry out his pain and remorse on his shoulder, John realized something. When Ida had asked him to spank Buck, and he'd agreed, a feeling had started to nag at him. That feeling had grown throughout the while distasteful process and now he understood just what that feeling was. Buck _was_ his boy. He wasn't just a man giving a single mother a hand, and Buck certainly wasn't just a kid he was spending time with. Maybe it had started that way but things were different now. John had just done what he had, been willing when Ida had asked, because he loved Buck. And in every way that really mattered, Buck was his son.

"I'm sorry about the docks and the cigar and school."

John sighed, he'd had a feeling this outpouring of emotion was about more than just a spanking. Doubtless the meeting between the leather strap and Buck's backside had been a wholly unpleasant one, and that the physical discomfort was still very much with the boy, but John hadn't thought he'd been nearly severe enough to warrant the kind of tears Buck had been shedding the last few minutes. All of that may have happened weeks ago, but apparently Buck had still been carrying around a lot of guilt concerning everything. Getting it all out was probably the best thing for him. John started to rub Buck's back. "It's alright, son," he said. The familial term had always come easy but this time it wasn't merely a name; he would claim Buck as his own in a heartbeat if he could. "It's all over."

"I – I didn't mean it." Buck cried again.

"Buck, look at me."

Slowly, reluctantly, Buck pulled back and met the deputy's eyes. "I'm s - sorry," he offered again.

John smiled slightly and wiped a tear from Buck's cheek. "I know. You don't have to tell me again. There are a few other people you need to apologize to, but between us, this is done." Buck nodded his breath still hitching some. "Go ahead and cry if you need to."

Buck wiped away a couple of more silent tears and put his arms around John once more, and John resumed rubbing Buck's back. As the minutes passed, he heard less sniffles and felt the tension start to leave Buck's body. He pulled Buck back. "Your mama wanted this to be between you and me, Buck, but you need to calm down so she can come up and talk with us."

Buck's eyes widened some. "Talk?" he asked his hand unconsciously going to his still stinging backside.

"Just talk," John clarified knowing exactly what Buck was thinking. "I told you, this part's over." Buck visibly relaxed under that assurance. "Ready to talk to you mama?" he asked. Buck's eyes were still red but the tears were gone and the hiccups had mostly faded; he nodded softly. "All right, I'll go get her." Before he stood, John gave Buck another quick hug.

Stepping out into the hallway John made sure no one was around and then wearily leaned against the wall. Yep, that was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

**A/N: So sorry for my prolonged absence on this story. I would like to say that I have no intention of abandoning this story, but there are times that I do get stuck in a spot and it's hard for me to get the story going again. Having said that, I want to thank all of my loyal readers for putting up with me, and if I've been away too long, feel free to give a nudge. Knowing that y'all are waiting is sometimes the encouragement and/or inspiration I need to get going again. **


	18. Summer of Changes

**A/N: It has been far too long since I updated this story, and I am adequately ashamed. I hope you enjoy it anyway. Just to reassure all of you that I haven't abandoned poor Buck, the next chapter should see Buck getting his first horse. Thanks for putting up with me and my erratic updates. **

Ida had followed John upstairs and when he'd entered Buck's room, she promptly went to her own and cried. It broke her heart to spank Buck, even if she wasn't the once actually doing it, and the circumstances that had led to this spanking were just as difficult for her to think about. As she set on the edge of her bed and let the tears fall she wondered if she'd done the right thing by dragging John into this. Was she simply taking the coward's way out by asking John to do the unpleasant task of giving Buck his physical punishment? She gave that some serious thought and finally decide the answer was no. Buck needed this and had John told her no, Buck would still be getting a spanking right now. So, why had she asked John to do it?

That question was easier to answer; she wanted Buck to remember this. Asking John had really been a snap decision on her part. The idea had simply popped into her head while John was explaining everything to her, but when he'd said yes, she'd felt at peace with it. Buck loved John, and she knew that Buck looked to the man as a father figure; a man he admired and respected. She was hoping that by having John discipline Buck, her son would understand the seriousness of what he had done. Maybe a cigar was something small, maybe it was of little value, but she didn't want Buck thinking he could get away with stealing, even if it was something unimportant. She wanted Buck to understand this was different than breaking one of her rules; she wanted him to understand she wasn't the only person he had disappointed with his actions.

She also knew that John loved Buck. John had never told her as much, but she could see it. Somewhere along the way, Buck had become much more than just a boy he spent time with. Ida wouldn't go so far as to say John saw Buck as a son, but he had definitely grown fond of Buck, and he'd been more than a little upset about what Buck had done today. Knowing that, Ida felt that John would be able to take a firm hand with Buck, without being unnecessarily harsh. Just as she knew that when it was all over, John would be able to make Buck understand he was still loved. Taking a deep breath, Ida dried her eyes. This was the right thing to do.

As her own tears and sniffles ceased, Ida heard murmuring coming through the wall from the room next door. Her heart sank as she realized she was hearing John and Buck talking. She couldn't make out what was being said, of course, but she could tell there was a conversation going on. If she could hear that, what else would she hear? Groaning, Ida got up and moved to stand next to the wall. She had elected to not go in with John, thinking the moment would mean more and be more teachable if she wasn't around. But her baby was still hurting, emotionally right now and soon physically as well, and she wanted to be close to him. If she couldn't actually be with him, her place by the wall would have to do.

She was telling herself again that she had done the right thing by sending John to handle this, and also sternly reminding herself that not punishing Buck would do nothing but hurt him down the road when the murmuring stopped. Seconds later and she heard a muffled 'pop'. Her heart twisted as she realized what that pop meant; the talking had ended and it was time for the hard part, for all of them. Ida knew that the deputy's swats likely carried a bit more sting than her own did, and when she heard the pop again she couldn't help but wince. She also couldn't help the tears that came back to her eyes when a muted sob followed one of those pops.

Soon the popping sounds ceased and only the sobs remained. She smiled sadly, relieved that the hardest part of this was over. Ida was tempted to go over and comfort Buck; to hold him, dry his tears, and tell him that she loved him, but she refrained. She had asked John to start the job; it was only right that she let him finish it. This was between Buck and John, and she wouldn't interfere. Wiping her own eyes again, she went and sat back down and waited for John to come and get her. At least this way she had a chance to get her own emotions back under control.

A few minutes later she heard a soft knock on her door. Jumping up, Ida rushed to the door and threw it open finding John, as she had expected.

"We both lived," he told her. He gave her that crooked smile and his tone was lighthearted, but Ida could tell he had to make an effort to appear nonchalant.

Ida stepped into the hall. "Thank you, John. I know it wasn't easy, but I think it meant more to him than anything I could have done."

"It doesn't look like it was easy for you either."

"It never is," she said, smiling slightly.

"Well, he's ready to talk if you are."

Nodding Ida went to Buck's door. When they entered, Ida immediately wrapped Buck in a hug. There where there were a few more tears from Ida, and muttered apologies from Buck, but finally she kissed his head and steered him over to the bed. "Sit down, Buck," she said as she set on the edge of the bed herself.

Buck looked between his mother and the deputy before rocking back and forth on his feet some. "Do I have to sit down?"

John bit back a smile. "I think the bed will be soft enough." Buck didn't look so sure but went over to the bed and gingerly set down. "Alright?" John asked.

Buck nodded, "Yeah."

Ida also smiled and put her arm around Buck. For a long moment, no one spoke than Buck broke the silence. "I'm really am sorry, Mama."

"I know sweetheart."

"I promise I'll never do it again."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Buck sighed heavily. "But . . . ?"

Ida smiled, and John couldn't quite stifle his laugh. At least Buck was expecting something else, that made things easier. "Well, what do you think should happen?" she asked.

"I need to pay for the cigar," Buck suggested.

"You need to pay for both of them," John said.

He looked to Ida as soon as he said it and she saw the uncertainty in his eyes. He was afraid he overstepped his bounds, she realized, but she gave him a smile and nodded her approval. John had done so much for her the last few years, especially this afternoon, that she certainly didn't mind him jumping in and telling Buck he owned Mr. Hodge four cents instead of two.

Buck didn't argue, just nodded his head. "Yes, sir."

"You'll apologize to him too," Ida added.

"Yes, ma'am."

"We'll go down first thing in the morning to see him. You'll apologize and pay him back, then we're coming home and you're not to leave for the rest of the week."

"Yes, ma'am." He sighed again and gave Ida a plaintive look. "That's not all is it?"

"There's something else I'd like, but I need to discuss it with Mr. Hodge first. We'll talk about it more tomorrow."

Buck nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

Ida gave her son another tight hug. "You've had a long afternoon. I think you should go to bed early tonight."

"Okay."

Ida gave him another kiss. "Go ahead and get ready. I'll be back in a little bit."

Leaving Buck alone, Ida and John went back downstairs where Ida walked the deputy to the door. "I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how much I appreciate what you did today."

The lawman turned his hat around in his hands a couple of times before answering. "Well, I'm not in any hurry to have to do it again, but if the need should ever arise, you know where I am."

Ida raised an eyebrow. "You'd be willing to do it again?"

"I care about him too, you know. I don't want to see him start a life a crime any more than you do."

Ida smiled. "I'll be sure to remember that. Thank you again."

"You're welcome. I should be getting back to the office."

"Of course." Ida opened the door for him.

John was halfway outside when he paused. "Just out of curiosity," he said. "What else did you have in mind?"

"For Buck?" He nodded. "If Mr. Hodge is agreeable, I'd like Buck to spend some time working in the store. I think he's had a little too much time on his hands, and I'd like for him to have something to do."

"Not a bad idea," John said with a smile. "Well, good luck, and as I said, if you need me, you know where to find me."

* * *

The next morning Buck walked over to the store with his mother. His last meeting with the Mr. Hodge hadn't ended well and Buck was slightly nervous about meeting him again. He also wasn't looking forward to making the apology Mama had told him he was to deliver, but he didn't have a lot of say in either matter.

"You've been quiet this morning," Ida said. "Are you feeling alright?"

Buck sighed. "I guess."

Ida chuckled. "You know, Mr. Hodge really isn't a bad man. I'm sure he was terribly upset when he caught you two stealing, but I think you'll find him much more pleasant today."

Buck supposed he could understand that. He didn't think he'd be happy about someone stealing his cigars either. He just hoped Mama was right about Mr. Hodge's mood today. He hated to think about apologizing for what had happened if the man's demeanor was anything liked it had been last time they'd met.

Buck fears about the shopkeeper turned out to be baseless. The man was smiling when they walked in and the apology he had to make went much better than Buck had figured. Mr. Hodge graciously accepted the apology and thanked Buck for paying for the cigars. Feeling like he had made amends for the previous day's misdeeds, Buck's spirits lifted. That hadn't been as hard as he'd thought it was going to be.

After Buck had finished talking to the man, Mama sent him over by the front door to wait for her while she spoke some more with the man. Buck was happy to go. Maybe things hadn't been too bad, but that didn't mean he wanted to stay here any longer than he had to. He was waiting when Del came in with his pa. His friend looked like Buck had felt earlier, and Buck assumed Del was about to have to offer an apology just like he had. He was right, and a few minutes later Del came hurrying back over.

"Where's your pa?" Buck asked.

"Over talkin' with Mr. Hodge and your mama. I figure we got a couple of minutes before he's done."

Both were quiet for a long moment; it was Buck that finally spoke up. "How bad was it?"

Del cut his eyes over to his father before sighing. "I ain't never seen him that mad before. And Mama cried."

"You get a whippin'?"

Del scoffed. "Yep. A good one. What about you?"

Buck was about to tell his friend about what John had done when he saw his mother heading back their way. "How are you today, Del?" she asked coming up to them.

"Just fine, ma'am," Del told her.

"I'm glad to hear that. Buck, it's time for us to go."

"Now?" he asked. Buck wanted to talk to Del more, to tell his friend about the strange turn of events with John,

"Yes."

Buck knew that tone. Mama had said he was to stay home this weekend, and she meant that was starting immediately. There was no point in trying to talk to Del anymore right now. "You can talk to Del, in a couple of days," she continued, obviously knowing what he was thinking.

"Yes, ma'am. Bye, Del."

"Bye," the other boy replied.

As soon as they got home, Mama told him what she had talked to Mr. Hodge about and Buck learned he would be spending the next month working for Mr. Hodge at the store. He wasn't sure he liked the way that sounded, but he wasn't about to argue. One redeeming factor to this new facet of his punishment was that Del was going to be the same thing. Buck figured as long as he got to be with Del his time at the store wouldn't be too bad. But that wasn't to start until Monday until then he was to stay at the Palace, mostly in either his or Mama's room but he was allowed in the barroom some too, in the mornings anyway. Staring at the same walls got dull, though and by Monday he was ready for a change. Even if it meant he had to go to work.

When he got to the store, Buck discovered Del was already there. Mr. Hodge greeted both of them and led them back to the store room where he gave them instructions on some cleaning and straightening up he wanted to be done, and then left them alone to work.

Once Mr. Hodge had gone back out front Buck resumed the conversation he had started with Del two days ago. "So you got in a lot of trouble?"

Del scoffed. "Yeah. They were both mad as all get out. And I told you Pa tanned my hide, didn't I?" Buck nodded and winced in sympathy, he understood a tanning well enough. "What about you?" Del asked. "What'd your mama do?"

Buck hesitated just a bit. "Nothin'."

Del abandoned his sweeping and looked at Buck in disbelief. "Nothin'? You didn't get a whippin' or anything?"

"No, I got one. A good one too."

"But you said your Mama didn't do nothin'."

"Well . . . Mama didn't give it to me; John did."

If possible, Del's look of disbelief grew. "John whipped you?"

Buck grimaced, remember how well the deputy had handled Mama's belt. "Yep." When Del didn't immediately respond, Buck went back to work.

"So," Del started after a moment. "John whipped you? Like a pa would?"

Buck paused and looked back to his friend. He hadn't thought of that before, but Del was kind of right. John had whipped him like a pa would have. "But John's not my pa," he said, carefully thinking about Del's words.

Del shrugged. "He could be."

"Do you think so?"

"Why not? He ain't married and your mama ain't married." Without another word, Del went back to work.

Buck went back to his own task as well, but he couldn't stop thinking about what Del had said. Could John really be his pa? He'd never considered it before, but it was kind of a nice thought. He thought John would make a pretty good pa, and Mama and John liked each other alright. But did they like each other enough to get married? He would have to think about it some more, but he wondered if that would ever be possible.

* * *

The arrangement that Mama and Mr. Givens had made with Mr. Hodge was that for the next month, the boys would spend a two or three hours a day at the store. The first day Buck had walked to the store knowing the month would never end, but after the first week he was surprised to find he liked helping out. Both Mama and John had been right when they'd told him Mr. Hodge was really a nice man, and when the shopkeeper saw his young workers were doing their tasks correctly, and willfully, he begin to let them help out front as well.

Buck was delighted with his new jobs, but Del seemed to prefer working in the back, so between the two of them a nice routine was started. Buck spent most of his time out front with Mr. Hodge, while Del took care of most of the things in the back, and both boys were finally forced to admit that their "punishment" wasn't nearly as awful as they had first thought it would be. There were several days Buck even stayed over some just because he wasn't ready to leave when Mr. Hodge told him he could. To Buck's surprise, the month he'd thought would never end passed quickly, and at the end he was a little disappointed it was over.

After the month of work was over things returned to normal for Buck, but Del was given the news that he had to start helping out more at home than he had in the past. This meant that the time Del could spend running around with Buck was limited, and with John busy with the sheriff's office, Buck was often left alone for long hours with nothing in particular to do. After several days of not having anything to do but stare at Fred, he finally asked Ida if she thought Mr. Hodge would mind if he helped at the store again. His mother asked, and to Buck's delight, he was soon back at the store for a little while every day.

So began another routine. Del would spend his mornings helping his father on the farm, Buck spent his at the general store, and in the afternoon they were given free time to play. Fishing became much more appealing when they weren't doing it all day every day, and John even tried to take some afternoons off so he could take them hunting or riding, or some other activity they weren't yet allowed to do completely unsupervised. It was a summer unlike any Buck had known before, but he liked it. He liked having jobs to do, and having more responsibilities than just his chores at home, and he liked that Mama and John seemed to trust him again. The only problem was, summer couldn't last forever. All too soon the seasons showed signs of changing, and that meant school was once again around the corner. There would be no more days spent at the store or hunting with John, instead there would be days spent with lessons and Mr. Harper. And Buck was not looking forward to it.


	19. The Trouble With Girls

"Don't you think she's kind of pretty?" Del asked.

Buck glanced over to where Becky Fairchild set with two other girls and then stared at Del in disbelief. "She's a girl," he reminded his friend.

Del grinned. "Yep. She is."

Del sounded far too happy about that, and Buck rolled his eyes.

School had been back in session for just over a month and Buck was surviving. Mr. Harper was still boring, and his accent was still annoying, but Buck was doing his best to behave. Like before he was finding he got along better with his teacher when he was behaving, but also like before, behaving wasn't his favorite thing. There had been many times over the last few weeks that he had been mighty tempted to pull a prank of some kind but refrained. Mama said that meant he was growing up, Buck was pretty sure it just meant he was tired of getting into trouble. Besides, pranks weren't as much fun without Del, and Del wasn't as inclined to start trouble as he had been just a few short months ago.

Sometime over the course of the summer Del had become the voice of reason between the two of them. He was now the first one to point out what pranks would likely land them in hot water, and he was certainly the more responsible of them now. Another habit Del had acquired, and the one Buck found most annoying, was Del new found attraction to girls. He seemed particularly fond of Becky Fairchild, and he took every opportunity to talk about her.

"Admit it," Del continued. "Don't you think she just a little pretty?"

Buck let his eyes drift to Becky again. He supposed maybe she was kind of pretty. Really as far as girls went, Becky was okay. She didn't squeal every time she got a little dirt on her, and Buck knew she could ride a horse, but still, she was a girl. Buck shrugged. "I guess. Maybe."

At Buck's admission, a gleam came to Del's eyes. "What about Julia Morgan?"

Buck's eyes widened. "No." Julia was one of Becky's friends, but Buck couldn't say she was even a little pretty. She had frizzy red hair that she always tried to wear in braids even through it constantly slipped from the ties, and freckles covered her nose. And she did have an aversion to dirt, and fish, and frogs, and just about everything else even remotely fun.

Del laughed. "I think she likes you."

"Shhhh, she might hear you." Julia was nice enough, for a girl, but Buck definitely didn't want her to hear Del talking about her liking him; she might start thinking he liked her.

Del laughed again at the horrified look on Buck's face but sobered when Buck sent a glare his way. He tried to anyway; he couldn't completely stop a smile. "Sorry."

Buck scowled at his friend, Del didn't sound the least bit sorry. "Come on, let's get back inside."

Buck gathered up what was left of his lunch and stuffed it in his pail. As they were going back in Del made sure to give Becky a smile. She waved back and then all three girls dissolved into a fit of giggles. Buck was again wondering exactly what it was about Becky that Del liked so much when he felt an elbow in his ribs. "I still think she likes you," Del said.

"Shut up," he hissed between clenched teeth, a slight blush coming to his face. It didn't matter if Julia liked him or not. He was never going to be like Del and get all moony-eyed over a girl; especially Julia Morgan.

* * *

The rest of the week passed with minimal frustration, although, between Mr. Harper and Del's newfound fascination with Becky, Buck was glad when he got a free day. It was made even better by the fact that John had been able to get the day off too. John had made plans for them to fish at a secluded creek bank a few miles outside of town, and while Buck was always ready to fish, the fact that they would need horses to get to the spot was what he was really looking forward to. They didn't get to ride nearly as much as Buck would like so any day he could get on a horse was a good day.

Normally Buck would try to get to go along with them, but today Del's pa needed his help to finish up with the harvest so it would be just the two of them. Buck liked it when Del got to come, the day was always a little more fun, but today he was glad to be alone with John. He was a little concerned about the way Del had been behaving and he wanted to talk to John about it. He couldn't very well do that if Del was around.

After breakfast at the hotel, another treat for Buck, they went down to the livery to pick up the horses. John's gray was waiting for them, as was a little bay mare for Buck. The mare was called Guinevere and she was the horse John had first taught him to ride on. Buck had been on many horses since he had started riding, but Guinevere was still his favorite, and he was always delighted when she was available. As far as he was concerned there wasn't a better horse anywhere.

It was a leisurely ride out to the creek and for the first hour or so of fishing was quiet. Buck thought long and hard about how to ask John about Del, and finally he breached the topic. "John, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything."

"It's about Del."

John turned to him raising an eyebrow. "Del? Y'all have a fight or something?"

"No. But I think there's somethin' wrong with him."

John put his pole down and faced Buck fully. "What do you mean by that?"

Buck also abandoned his pole and heaved a sigh. "Well, ever since school's started back he's been . . ." Buck's voice dropped to a whisper. "He likes Becky Fairchild. He really likes her."

"Becky . . . " John cleared his throat. "I see."

"He talks about her all the time, and when we eat lunch he's always looking at her. And if he ever waves or smiles at her she starts to giggle and . . . "Buck scowled. "What's wrong with him?"

John chuckled at Buck exasperated look. "There's not a thing wrong with him. You see, there comes a point in time when boys start to see girls a little differently. I think it's that time for Del now."

"Different how?"

"Well, you start to notice what she looks like. What color her eyes are, when she wearing something nice, the way she wears her hair. You usually start to think a certain girl is prettier than all the rest, and when that happens, you want to be around her, to talk to her. And you want her to notice you as much as you notice her."

Buck stared at his mentor, somewhere between interested and horrified. He wasn't sure if he liked the way all that sounded or not. But what John was saying did sound like Del now. "He asked me the other day if I thought she was pretty."

"Do you?"

Buck shrugged. "I don't know, maybe. Sort of. What does it matter?"

It was John's turn to shrug. "It really doesn't matter if you think so or not, but it's something that's important to Del now. And one day, probably pretty soon, it's going to be important to you."

"No," Buck stated flatly, eyes widening. "It won't. Especially not Julia Morgan." The name was said in a rather indignant tone.

John had to laugh at how emphatic Buck sounded. "Who's Julia Morgan?"

"One of Becky's friends"

"And you don't like Julia?"

"Weeell, she's alright. But she is a girl, and she's not pretty."

John couldn't help but smile. Something told him one day Julia Morgan wouldn't be as irritating to Buck as she seemed to be now. "Well, that's fine. You don't have to think she pretty."

Buck sighed heavily. "Is it ever gonna stop? With Del I mean."

John gave Buck a sympathetic look. There wasn't a big age gap between Buck and Del, and it had never seemed to matter very much before, but it was pretty obvious now. It was likely to stay that way too until Buck caught back up anyway. John would put money on the fact that Buck would see things Del's way sooner rather than later, but until he did, Buck was probably going to feel a little left out. "Probably not, Buck."

Buck grimaced. "So I'm gonna have to listen to Del go on about Becky forever?"

John was trying to stay serious, knowing that in Buck's eyes this was a big problem, but he was having a hard time keeping a smile off his face. "It won't always seem so bad. I promise. Don't you like girls at all?"

Buck considered the question for a while before he smiled. "I like Guinevere."

John did laugh at that. "You know what, Buck. That's probably pretty smart thinking. Guinevere's a fine example of a girl, but why don't we not think about girls right now, and just do some fishing? And after we're done, maybe we can ride for a couple of hours before we have to head back."

Buck smiled; fishing, horses, and no girls. That was the best thing he'd heard all day. "Alright."

* * *

The next afternoon John walked in the back door of the Palace, but this time he was there to see Ida. He'd had something on his mind since the fishing trip yesterday and he wanted to discuss it with Ida before the idea dug down any deeper in his brain. There were times John wondered if anyone noticed how often he made trips to the Palace, but he it was something he didn't dwell on. God knew he wasn't the only public servant to spend time in the brothel. The illustrious Mayor Patterson often spent his evenings here, and John was pretty sure his and Ida's talks were nothing like the ones Patterson and Maggie had. Besides, he was a single man and as long as he wasn't working, he figured it wasn't anyone's business how he spent his free time. He did always use the back door, though. There was no need to call any undue attention to his frequent visits.

"Afternoon, deputy," Maggie called as he exited the Palace's kitchen and made his way up the stairs to Ida's room.

"Maggie," he answered, doffing his hat. There was no love lost between John and the town's relatively new mayor, but there was one thing John could thank the man for and that was the way he'd been drawn to Maggie. The fiery-headed, buxom beauty had spent months all but jumping on John every time he had walked through the door. That had changed when Patterson had become mayor. When the man had been elected he'd apparently decided he needed a mistress, and Maggie had been only too happy to fill the role. The only words exchanged between the girl and the deputy now were nothing but friendly chatter, and it was a change John had welcomed.

He took the steps two at a time and rapped lightly on Ida's door. She opened almost at once and seemed surprised to see him. "John."

He greeted her with a smile. "You have a moment for a word?"

"Yes, just give me a minute. Help yourself to a drink, and you can pour me one too."

He had caught her as she was getting ready for the night ahead, and John tried not to think too much about what that meant. Ida's work hadn't been of any consequence to him when he'd first met Buck, but now it was something he found himself a little unnerved by. He wasn't here to talk about Ida's work, however, and poured two brandies before sitting down to wait for her.

Ida was soon ready and picked up her own glass before taking a seat at the other end of the settee. "Buck had fun yesterday," she told him. "He hasn't talked about a fishing trip that much in I don't know when."

"I'm sure Guinevere had something to do with that."

Ida laughed. "She did." She became more serious. "I'm actually glad you're here. There's something I've been meaning to ask you. Did Buck tell you about anything yesterday? He's seemed a little down lately."

John could stop a smile. "Yeah, he did. It was about Del."

"Oh, no. They're not fighting are they?" Whatever her feelings had been about Del before, she had also noticed the change in him, and she hated to think about Buck losing his only real friend.

"No, nothing like that. It's uhh . . . well, let's just say Del's growing up a little faster."

Ida raised an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"Meaning Del now has a crush on young Becky Fairchild. I think Buck's tired of hearing about her."

Ida smiled knowingly. "I suppose he is getting that age. Poor Buck. Is he okay?"

John nodded. "I told him he'd understand soon enough."

"Oh, I don't think I'm ready for that."

"Not much you can do about it."

"I suppose not." She took a deep breath. "You wanted to talk about something?"

John chuckled, recognizing Ida was ready for a change in subject. "I did. He's been doing really well lately, with school, and chores, and staying out of trouble."

"Yes, he has. And I assume this is leading somewhere."

"I was watching him with Guinevere yesterday. He's a good rider. Really good."

Ida sighed and set her glass down before turning to the deputy with a smile. "I've seen that look in your eye before. There was a dog involved that time."

"It would be good for him."

Ida rolled her eyes, she knew what John was leading up to. "Fred was going to be good for him too."

"He takes good care of Fred."

Ida shook her head as she got to her feet. She got the bottle of brandy from the cabinet and refilled both their glasses. "Alright, John," she sat back down. "What are you planning?"

He smiled. "Nothing. But I would like for you to think about letting me buy Buck a horse."

She'd been excepting that, and really it wasn't an unreasonable request. She just didn't know if Buck was ready for that. He did take good care of Fred, and he was a good rider, but a horse of his own was a large undertaking. "And why does he need a horse?"

"To teach him respo . . . "

"Responsibility," she finished.

John answered with a grin. "But it's not only that. Men need horses, Ida. And he needs to be able to take care of his own; to learn how to bond with his mount. He can't do that until he has his own mount."

"I understand what you're saying, and I don't disagree, but it's a big decision and I need to think about it."

"That's all I'm asking. Just remember, he's been on his best behavior the last few months, and a horse would give him something to work at, and it might provide a distraction from Del's sudden female obsession."

"sometimes I think these animals mean more to you than they do Buck. I'll think about it."

"Thank you." John drained the rest of his cup. "With that assurance, I'll be on my way."

Both got up and Ida walked him to the door. "It would mean a lot to him," he said before stepping out into the hall.

She couldn't help cuffing him on the shoulder. "I said I would think about it. Now go on."

John flashed another grin before he left. Ida may have told him she would think about it, but he was certain he already knew what the answer was going to be.


	20. The Trouble Continues

_A/N: I know, I'm terrible. I'm just going to leave this here._

The next few weeks passed quickly, the days pretty much the same. Winter was on the way, and the cooler weather was settling in to stay. The days were still mostly mild in temperature, but Del had already managed to fall victim to a cold and had been out of school the last two days. Due to Del's absence, Buck was making the walk from school to home alone. He was about halfway home when he heard a shriek come from up ahead, just past where the road bent around the big oak tree. Buck stopped, startled by the sound, and listened only to hear the noise again, only this time, he heard laughter too. That didn't sound like a good combination to Buck, and he took off running towards the sound.

Rounding the bend, Buck slid to a stop when he saw Matt Patterson and Julia Morgan. Matt had Julia's lunch pail and was holding it out of her reach. Julia was trying to grab it from him, but every time she came close, Matt would pull it away.

"Give it to me, Matt," she cried, making another lunge for the pail.

Matt was grinning wickedly as he swung the pail over his head. "You can have it as soon as you can get it."

Missing her target yet again, Julia stamped her foot. "Give it to me."

"No. Come and get it. That's all you have to do is walk over here and get it."

Buck watched as Julia jumped for her pail. He hadn't had any problems with Matt in over a year, and most of the time he tried to avoid the boy, but when Julia almost fell from Matt yanking the pail away again, he couldn't keep quiet any longer. "Leave her alone, Matt," he yelled.

Matt's eyes hardened when he saw Buck. "Stay out of this, Wilmington."

Seeing Matt's attention on Buck, Julia tried again to get her pail back; again she failed. Matt seemed to forget about Buck and went back to Julia, laughing as she repeatedly jumped for her pail.

"Stop being mean to her," Buck said. "Just give it back."

Matt sneered. "Why should I?"

"Cause there's no reason to be mean. She ain't done nothin' to you. Give it back."

Matt continued to hold the bucket aloft but did stop swinging it around. "Who's gonna make me, Bucky-boy? You?"

That made Buck pause. Matt was a good head taller than him, and stronger too, and Mama didn't like him fighting; he didn't think she'd like Matt being mean to Julia either. "If I have to."

Matt and Julia both looked his way like neither could believe what they'd heard. Finally, Matt scoffed. "You'd fight me for her? Why? Do you like her?"

"No, I just . . . just give it back."

"No." Matt looked between the two and laughed before continuing in a sing-song voice. "Buck likes Julia. Buck likes Julia. Buck likes Julia."

"Stop," Julia cried, her face was red and Buck thought she looked like she was about to cry. For some reason, he didn't like that.

He strode over to Matt. "Shut up. Just give her bucket back." Matt ignored him and continued his annoying chant. Taking a deep breath and praying his mother would understand if this did turn into a fight, Buck gave the older boy a shove.

The unexpected push caught Matt off guard and he stumbled back a couple of steps. When he was steady he glared at Buck. "What are you doin'?"

"I told you to give it back," Buck said. "If you don't want a bloody nose, drop it."

Matt continued to glare for a long moment before that wicked grin came back. "You want me to drop it? Fine." He gave the pail a hard throw into the field beside the road. "Go find it you little freak." With that, he turned and ran off down the road.

Buck glanced at the field and sighed. Why did Matt have to do that? It could take forever to find a lunch pail out there. At least, Matt was gone now. He started out towards the field and was stopped by a hand on his arm. Turning he found Julia beside him.

"Thank you for helping me," she said, smiling shyly.

Buck felt a blush come to his own face and hastily looked away. "It's no big deal," he mumbled before walking out into the dead weeds. It got dark kind of early now; if Julia wanted her lunch pail back before sundown they'd better start looking for it.

The two of them searched for well over half-an-hour before Buck finally located the missing lunch pail. "I got it," he called holding it up so she could see, but he waited until they were back on the road before he passed it to its owner.

Julia smiled when she once again had her pail. "Thank you again," she said. "You didn't have to do that."

Buck shrugged. "Matt's just a jerk. No one should be mean for no reason like that."

"I guess you're gonna be late getting home, huh? Will your mother be mad?"

Another shrug. "Not when I tell her why."

Julia's smile got a little bigger. "You're sweet, Buck." Then without any warning, she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

Buck wasn't expecting that and his face turned bright red. Why had she done that? "W-what was – that for?" he said finding it suddenly hard to talk.

"Just because. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Uhh-huh."

She gave him a little wave and giggled in the same way Becky sometimes did. "Bye, Buck."

"B-b-bye," he managed to get out, ready to get out of what had become an awkward situation, he certainly didn't want to give Julia another chance to kiss him. Buck turned toward home and all but ran the whole way.

* * *

It was almost dark out and Ida was starting to get worried. Buck had been so good lately about being home when he was supposed to that she couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong. She kept telling herself she shouldn't get worked up over this, there could be a perfectly good reason for Buck's lateness. But all the times in the past when Buck had been very late it had been because of a problem. She finally decided to finish getting dressed before she got too upset and was almost done when she heard the door to his room open and close.

She went to the room next door and knocked softly. Her knock was immediately answered by a "come in." She entered the room and fond Buck changing out of his good school shirt. "Is everything all right, Buck?"

He looked at her and nodded. "Uhh-huh. Sorry I'm late."

"What happened?" she asked when no information concerning his tardiness was offered. He wasn't dirty or bloody, and he didn't look guilty.

"Nothing really."

"Where have you been?"

"I just got tied up comin' home."

"Tied up with what?" Ida continued to watch Buck, looking for a sign that would tell her what her son had been up to.

"I was . . . helpin' somebody."

That piqued Ida's curiosity; what could he have been helping someone with that he didn't want to tell her about? "Who were you helping?"

Buck finally heaved a sigh. "Julia Morgan."

The name wasn't familiar to Ida. "Who's that?"

"A girl from school." Buck had gotten another shirt on and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I was coming home and Matt Patterson had taken her lunch pail. I just helped her get it back."

Ida sat next to Buck. She now understood his reluctance to talk about what he'd been doing, although she wasn't sure whether he didn't want to talk because Julia was a girl, and he still claimed to hate girls, or because young Patterson had been involved. "Oh. How did you do that?"

"I just told him to stop pickin' on her," he said with a shrug.

"Did he stop?"

"Yeah. After I told him I give him a bloody nose if he didn't. But he did throw it into a field, and we had to go look for it. It took a little while to find it."

"You helped her look for it too?"

"Yeah." Buck sighed again. "Why's Matt such a jerk all the time?"

"That's just how some people are, Buck. They have to make others miserable to make themselves feel better."

"He almost made Julia cry."

Ida smiled, glad that Buck sounded bothered by the fact that someone had been bullied. "I think Matt learned how to act that way from his father. It's not right, but sometimes people don't know how else to feel important."

Buck seemed to think about her words for a moment before speaking again. "I would have hit him if he'd hadn't of stopped. Is that bad?"

"Well, I rather you not start fights, but I am proud of you for sticking up for Julia. And for helping her look for her lunch pail."

"So you're not mad because I'm late?"

"Of course not," Ida replied, kissing the top of his head. "I'd much rather you be a little late for helping someone then be on time and leave Julia to be bullied. Run along downstairs. I'll be down in a minute to get you some supper."

Buck rushed out the door and Ida had to smile as she listened to him run down the stairs. It had been almost a month since John had asked her about the horse, and she had given it a lot of thought. She had carefully considered the points John had mentioned when he first asked her about it, as well as Buck's behavior these last several weeks. Outside of a couple of harmless pranks with Del, he had continued to behave in and out of school. The question that had bothered her the most was if Buck was really ready for that responsibility? It wasn't that Ida didn't want Buck to have a horse, but she knew that a horse was a much larger responsibility than a dog. It would require more food, more attention, and cost more than Fred.

Since she and John had talked, she had managed to come up with a list of excuses for not allowing Buck a horse, but between John and her own mind, every one of them had been debunked. The only thing she hadn't been able to rectify was the cost. John had already told her he would buy the animal, but the problem was how the board for a horse would be paid. It would, of course, have to be kept in the livery, and she had no intention of letting John pay for it. As it turned out, John had a solution for that too, which he had told her about earlier today. The only doubt that had remained was if Buck was really grown up enough, and by defending Julia today, he had just told Ida how grown up he had gotten.

She smiled, almost sadly, as she thought back to how indignant Buck had sounded when he'd told her about Matt being mean to Julia. Whether she liked it or not, Buck was growing up, and she had to admit, she believed he was ready for a horse of his own. She'd tell John tomorrow, but first she needed to feed her son.

* * *

John had known the day he'd first asked Ida about the horse she would eventually give in, and he had talked to the livery owner, Frank Sims, that very day about purchasing Guinevere for Buck. The mare was perfect for the boy's first horse. Not only was Buck familiar with her, but they were a good match together. She already had a lot of good training on her, but there were plenty of things Buck could still teach her, and at seven she was old enough to be a pretty solid animal but young enough that she and Buck could have many good years together. All he had been waiting for was for Ida to finally give him the go-ahead. And the day she did the final transaction was made.

It was two days after John had officially bought the mare that he was finally able to have a day with Buck. Again they went to the hotel for breakfast, and John told Buck they were riding today. Riding was all he had planned, wanting to give Buck plenty of time with his new horse.

"You reckon Guinevere is available today?" Buck asked as they walked from the hotel to the livery. He'd been ecstatic when he'd found out about the plan for the day.

"We'll have to see," John said. Ida had suggested waiting until Christmas to give Guinevere to Buck, but John had known he wouldn't be able to wait that long. He was having a hard enough time keeping it quiet until they got out of town.

When they arrived at the livery, Buck ran up to Sims inquiring about his favorite horse. He had positively beamed when the man had told him the mare was free and hurried off to get her ready.

Sims turned to John with a smile, "I take it he doesn't know yet?"

John shook his head. "I'm waiting till we get out of town."

"You're gonna have one happy boy on your hands soon," Sims said before getting back to work.

For the next hour or so they rode making idle small talk about school, and even girls. Buck told John about the incident with Julia and Matt, and although Buck was still adamantly claiming he had no use for girls, John suspected Buck was very close to admitting he did like them. And he couldn't help but notice Buck's blush when the unexpected kiss had come up. The conversation did give him the perfect opening for talking about the mare, though.

"So Guinevere is still the only girl you like?" John asked.

Buck nodded. "Yep. I mean, Becky's all right, but she's Del's girl so I kinda have to like her."

John wondered exactly when Del had gotten old enough to 'have a girl" but Del wasn't meant to be the main topic of conversation today. "Hold up a minute, Buck," he said pulling his own gray up. Buck stopped and looked at John expectantly.

"I've been talkin' with your mama lately and we've decided, I mean she's agreed . . . do you think you're ready to take care of a horse of your own?"

Buck nodded. "Well, yeah. I usually saddle Guinevere when we go ridin', and I always rub her down afterwards. You know Del's parents gave him Red for his birthday."

"I do know," John replied. Buck had talked about it quite a few times, and Del being given the horse was one of the things that had got him thinking about Buck needing his own horse.

"You don't have a place to keep a horse like Del does, though."

"It could stay in the livery like Stony," Buck reasoned, referring to John's horse.

"It could, but that costs money. Would you be willing to do a little work every day to pay for it?"

"Yes." Buck's eyes were shining now. John had a feeling Buck knew where this was headed.

"I thought you would be. And me and your mama both think you'll be able to take care of one."

"Am I getting a horse?"

John smiled. "Not getting, boy. You got one. If you're interested in owning Guinevere that is."

"Guin . . ." Buck looked down at the horse he was riding. "You're buying me Guinevere?"

"She's bought, son. As of now she's all yours."

"She's mine? Really?" John nodded. "Guinevere's really mine?"

"She's really yours." Buck grinned and nearly launched himself at the deputy. "Whoa," John said. "Try to stay on her. I don't want to have to tell you'll mama you fell off the first day you rode your horse.

Buck was still grinning when he righted himself. "She is mine, ain't she?"

"She is. And we got all day to see what she's got in her. How 'bout we start by racing over to those trees."

If possible, Buck's grin grew and without any coaxing, kicked Guinevere into a lope. John waited for a second before following on the gray. Letting Buck get a hundred yards or so ahead of him, John gave the gray his head and let him run after the mare. This was Buck's day and he had no intention of beating the boy at the race, but as he watched Buck and Guinevere he wasn't sure the head start had been necessary.


	21. Learning Something New

The winter passed uneventfully for Buck, he still didn't like school but there were no problems with his teacher or serious problems with Patterson. He'd gotten used to Becky and after the incident with Matt, even Julia seemed okay, most of the time. He was starting to think maybe girls weren't as bad as he'd always thought until Del decided Becky wasn't his girl anymore. That should have been good for Buck, but Del seemed to talk about the girl more when she wasn't his than when she had been. After a few days, Del had decided he wasn't mad about whatever it was that Becky had done, and he was once again completely taken with her. Then the unthinkable happened, a spat during recess one day had _Becky_ deciding she wasn't Del's girl anymore.

Del was devastated when Becky had hotly informed him he could find a new girl, and he'd moped around for days until his father told him to apologize for whatever he had done, even if he wasn't sure what it was. The apology worked and the two very young lovers were content again, until the next time. Buck soon learned that whatever was happening between Del and Becky was going to be a common occurrence. It was a cycle that seemed to repeat itself every three or four weeks, and it was all the turmoil that made Buck more convinced than ever that Guinevere was the only girl he had any interest in.

Since the day John had officially given the mare to Buck, he had spent as much time with her as he could. It wasn't easy to go on joyrides during the winter months, the early darkness, cold weather, and snow were hard to work around. Buck still managed to find time for her, though. He worked in the livery a couple of hours every day to pay for Guinevere's board and was able to use some of his time to see to her. On days when the weather was decent he would take her for rides in the corral, and on the rare really nice days, John did his best to see Buck got a proper ride on her. By the time spring came around again, Buck and Guinevere had indeed forged a bond.

Ida had spent the winter watching her son, and was impressed with Buck's great love for the horse. She also liked the work ethic he seemed to have developed since receiving her. Buck had never been one to cheerfully do chores, but he never complained about his work at the livery. He seemed to enjoy the time he spent there, and even his harmless mischief had slowed since Guinevere had been bestowed on him. He had proven that he was responsible, for an eleven-year-old anyway, and it was because of this that she agreed to something Buck had been asking about for years.

Soon after Buck had started spending time with John, the two had starting hunting together. Buck had loved it and had soon begun asking about learning to shoot a revolver. Ida hadn't minded the rifles, but she had been leery of handguns. Something about revolvers had seemed so much more grown up, and she'd been reluctant to allow John to start those lessons. Buck was growing up, however, he had proven it time and again over the past few months and Ida finally told him she was going to let John teach him to use a handgun.

After discussing the matter with John, Ida shared the news with Buck. She told him after he'd come in from school on Thursday, and immediately realized she shouldn't have done that. Buck was beside himself when he'd heard the news, and had spent the next day asking questions and talking a blue streak about John's gun. It was almost a relief to send him to bed Friday night.

Friday night at the Palace was the same as usual with Ida seeing her last client off in the early morning hours. By the time she made it back to her room, all she wanted was sleep. And she hadn't had near enough of it when she was woken by a soft knocking on the door of her room.

She warily opened her eyes wondering what time it was, judging by the dimness of the room she guessed it to be around sunup. That meant she'd only been in bed about three hours, and she couldn't think of anyone that would need her at the moment. Before she could think of how to respond to the knocking her door cracked open.

"Mama?"

Ida sat up when she heard her son's voice. "Is something wrong?" she asked still not fully awake and a little concerned at Buck's early morning visit.

Buck strolled into the room and lay down next to her. "No. I couldn't sleep and just wondered if you was awake."

Lying back down she smiled at him. "I am now. Why couldn't you sleep?" Buck's answer was a grin. Ida pushed his hair back with a chuckle. "You know it's too early. John probably wasn't in much earlier than I was; he needs sleep too."

"I know." Buck was quiet for a minute. "How much sleep do you think he needs?"

Ida shook her head. "I wouldn't expect him to be here any earlier than he normally is." She continued to run her fingers through Buck's hair and thought about the gun, and how much this meant to Buck. She still wasn't completely comfortable with this, which was really ridiculous. Buck had been using a rifle for years, he did need to know about revolvers, and he was going to have the best teacher in the world. "Buck, you know revolvers aren't toys, don't you?"

Buck looked offended she had even asked. "Yes. I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not, and I'm sorry if it sounded like I did. I just want to make sure you realize that this is serious."

"I already shoot rifles and shotguns."

"I know. And I know you're always careful. Just remember to keep being careful, all right?"

Buck looked confused but readily agreed. "Okay."

Ida leaned forward and kissed his head; her sweet boy. She couldn't believe how fast he'd grown. "When did you get so big on me?" Buck shrugged and Ida chuckled. "Why don't you try to go back to sleep for a couple of hours?"

"I can't."

"Really?" Ida asked skeptically. "Why don't you try."

"I can't."

"If you roll over I'll rub your back; I bet you could go to sleep then." Buck had always loved having his back rubbed, and it would put him to sleep faster than anything.

"It won't do any good," Buck said as he turned his back toward his mother.

"It probably won't" Ida replied as she began to move her hand along Buck's back, knowing he would be asleep within minutes. "But it will feel good anyway."

* * *

The next time Buck opened his eyes, sunlight was filling the room. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up wondering why he was in Mama's room instead of his own. It all came back to him in a rush, and he jumped out of bed with a gasp. John would be here soon, and then he could finally shoot a revolver. Hurrying back to his own room, Buck quickly dressed and ran down the stairs to the kitchen.

Mama, John, and Rita were there drinking coffee when he rushed into the room. "Mornin'," John greeted.

"Is it time to go?" Buck asked excitedly.

"After you eat something," Mama said before John could answer.

John asked the next question. "You want to eat here or the hotel?"

Buck considered that. Normally he loved eating at the hotel, but he wanted to get started with their lesson as soon as possible. "Which would be faster?"

John laughed. "A person think you'd never shot a gun before. Come on, I think we can spare twenty minutes for the hotel."

Buck nodded. That was fine with him, but he was ready to go . . . now. "Let's go," Buck said giving John's hand a tug as he ran to the door. "Bye, Mama. Bye, Rita," he called over his shoulder before disappearing outside.

"I guess I'd better go before he leaves me," John said getting to his feet and nodding to the women. "Bye, ladies. Buck, wait up."

After a big breakfast at the hotel, which Buck had to admit was worth the time it took to eat, they saddled up and went out to one of their spots to practice with a revolver for the first time. John started with the standard it's-a-tool-not-a-toy talk, and Buck tried to look interested through it. John had told him most of this when he had first learned to shoot, but Buck wasn't going to do anything that might make John retract his offer, and if he had to listen to it all again, he would. Surprisingly, John actually said a few things Buck didn't know; revolvers were just a little different than long guns after all.

At long last, John passed his gun, butt first, over to Buck. Buck couldn't keep a grin from coming to his face as his hand wrapped around the grip. It was heavier than he was expecting but at the same time something about holding it felt right.

"What's the rules?" John asked.

"Always treat it like it's loaded, don't point it at anything you ain't willin' to shoot, and finger off the trigger until you're ready to fire."

John nodded his satisfaction. "All right, check to see if it's loaded."

"It is."

"How do you know?"

Buck looked at the man in confusion. "You said it was."

John smiled as he knelt down beside Buck. "I did. But you're not going to take my word for it, are you?"

Buck's mouth formed a silent "oh"; he hadn't anticipated John trying to trick him.

"I'm not tryin' to trip you up," John said almost as if he'd read Buck's thoughts. "But if a man hands you a gun and says it's loaded, or unloaded, always look for yourself. You wouldn't want it to be empty if you needed it, would you?"

"That makes sense."

"Yes, it does. Remember how I said to check it?"

Buck did remember. His hands were still a little small, and the action was unfamiliar to him, but he was eventually able to get the cylinder out and check for bullets. "There's five," he announced a little surprised to see the empty hole.

"That's right. I load it like that so I don't shoot my foot off when I'm carrying it. You can put six in when you reload it."

Buck pushed the cylinder back into place and got ready to shoot.

"Both hands," John said putting his own hands around Buck's.

"I thought you was supposed to shoot fast," Buck said while John was showing him how to sight down the barrel.

"That comes with practice. Now squeeze, just like always."

Another grin came to Buck's face when he squeezed the trigger and felt the pistol's recoil. He didn't hit the target the first time, but by the third shot he was getting used to the gun and by the time he'd emptied the gun, he had hit the target.

"Like it?" John asked as Buck lowered the gun.

"Yep."

John chuckled. "All right, now open it back up."

It was a little easier to get the revolver open this time and Buck ejected the spent casings the way John had shown him. He then put six new bullets in the gun. Pushing the cylinder back in, he gave it a spin.

"Stop that," John said.

"What?"

"Spinning it."

"Why?"

"Because spinning it can make it loose and if it's loose it could fall out."

Buck's eyebrows went up; he'd never heard that. "Really?"

John laughed. "You know what? I have no idea. But, somebody told me that once and it made enough sense that I never saw the point in testing it."

Buck gave him a long look then looked at the gun, and back to the deputy. "I don't believe it."

John returned the look. "Would you be willing to stake your life on that? What would you do if you needed to use that and the cylinder fell out on you?" Buck didn't answer. "That's what I thought. Stop spinning the cylinder."

"Yes, Sir."

"Let's try it again."

By the time they were ready to head back to town, Buck had spent an entire box of cartridges in the gun and was feeling pretty good about his ability to use a handgun. Mama wouldn't let him have his own yet, he knew better than to even ask that, but John told him he could use one of his to practice with until Mama thought he was old enough for his own. That wasn't Buck's ideal situation, but he knew it would have to do for now.

Sunday passed quietly, as most Sunday's did. The palace was closed on Sunday and the girls spent that day lounging around and recovering from the week. Since there wasn't much going on at home, Buck took advantage of the free day and spent several hours with Guinevere. He enjoyed the day but by supper, as odd as it sounded, he was ready for Monday. Monday meant school of course, but it also meant he would see Del, and Buck was ready to have someone new to talk about his weekend with.

The next morning he managed to get to the school before Del and was waiting for his friend when Del came running up. He was wearing a grin when he slid to a stop in front of Buck. Buck wondered if the grin might mean Becky was Del's girl this week, but before he could ask Del spoke.

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to say anything to anybody else?"

Buck couldn't imagine what would have Del that excited and secretive but he nodded. "Sure. What is it?"

Del looked around almost as though he was afraid someone was listening in. "Pa had to go to town Saturday evenin' cause the mayor wanted to have a meeting with some of the men. After he got home, he and Ma started talking."

"So?" Buck asked. So far that didn't seem like anything special.

Del's grin grew. "Mr. Harper's leavin'."

Buck's eyes widened, he hoped he'd heard Del right. "What?"

"Yeah. That's why Mr. Patterson wanted to meet. Mr. Harper told them he was leavin', and they talked about what they were gonna do for a teacher."

"We didn't run him off, did we?"

"No. Pa said he got a job at some fancy school back east. Anyway, he's leaving at the end of the year."

A grin slowly broke out across Buck's face. "He's really leavin'?"

Del nodded. "Yep, soon as school ends. But you can't tell nobody. Pa don't even know I know, and if anybody finds out I won't admit that I said anything."

"I'm not gonna say anything. Who you reckon they'll get to replace him?"

Del shrugged. "Pa didn't say anything about that; I don't think they know yet."

Buck started to say something else but the ringing of the bell cut him off. He and Del both looked to the schoolhouse where Mr. Harper stood ringing the bell and shared another grin. Buck couldn't believe the luck he'd had this week. First he'd learned how to use the revolver, and now he was finding out that his time with Mr. Harper was limited. And not just for the summer, but for good.

He walked to the schoolhouse feeling better about his lessons than he had in a while. Could life get any better than this?


	22. A Shot in the Dark

By the time the school year ended, there was still no word on who the teacher would be next year, and frankly, Buck didn't care. It was months before he would have to worry about school again and he had no intention of spending any of his summer thinking about that, or anything else school related.

So the summer started and long, lazy days began. Del was still helping his Pa on the farm, and Buck was still working at the livery, but they managed to get in plenty of fishing, riding, and swimming. Sometimes Becky would join them and Buck found he didn't even mind. He didn't know if Becky was or wasn't Del's girl anymore, but whatever she was they didn't argue as much and Del wasn't so moony-eyed anymore. As long as things stayed that way, Buck didn't mind her fishing every once in a while.

The summer also started camping trips. Now that they were older, and had proven they could be responsible, Mama and Del's parents didn't mind them going off for the night sometimes. The overnight trips were better planned and far more enjoyable than their previous attempt at running away had been. At least they hadn't gotten lost or run out of food on any of their planned trips yet. One such trip had happened the week before Buck's birthday. They had left Friday after lunch and ridden out to one of their favorite spots, a secluded place by the river several miles outside of town. The evening was filled with fishing, swimming, and stories. The next day was a repeat of the previous one, and they'd headed home that afternoon.

Right before they reached town, Del veered off to his house and Buck rode back to the livery. After getting Guinevere settled in her stall, Buck started for home. It was almost time for supper and he was looking forward to Mama's cooking. He and Del could clean and cook fish when they were camping and it was alright, but it wasn't anything like what he got at home. As always, when he got home he went through the alley and entered through the Palace's back door. He was almost expecting Mama or someone else to be in the kitchen, but when he entered he saw no one. It seemed a little odd, but Buck didn't give it much thought. He needed to get cleaned up before he ate anyway.

He left the kitchen but stopped when he saw no one in the foyer either. That was really strange. This time of afternoon most everyone should have been around, he didn't even hear the normal din coming out of the barroom. If he listened closely he could hear someone in there, but they were being very quiet and the Palace was not known for being a quiet place. What was going on? Getting the feeling that something just wasn't right Buck headed towards the barroom to see if he could find someone. Anyone.

About the time he was even with the stairs, he saw the new girl, Clara, coming down. Just seeing someone helped the knot that had started to grow in his stomach ease up some. "Hey, Clara," he called. "Where is everybody?"

Clara came to a sudden stop and looked at him, her already wide eyes seeming to get even bigger. Instead of answering him, she asked another question. "Have you seen your mother?"

"No."

"Oh."

Buck glanced back at the barroom. "Where is she?"

Again his question went unanswered instead what he got was, "She wants to see you."

"Now?"

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you were to wash up some first," a new voice broke in.

Buck turned and found Jeanie coming up behind him. The knot eased some more. When his attention was on the older woman, Clara darted off to the barroom. Buck watched the girl run off then looked to Jeanie. "Is she okay?"

Jeanie smiled slightly. "She's fine,"

Buck raised his eyebrows. He wasn't so sure. Clara had only been at the Palace a couple of months, and he didn't know her very well yet. She seemed nice enough, but a little flighty. Today she seemed more flighty than usual.

Jeanie chuckled when she saw his expression but it sounded forced, not at all like Jeanie. Whatever was going on, Buck didn't like it. First, there was the unusual quiet, and now Jeanie was acting strangely. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Run along and get cleaned up. I'll tell Ida you're back."

"Where is Mama?"

"I'll get her. Just scoot on upstairs."

Yet again, another of his questions went unanswered. Buck wasn't stupid, he knew they weren't telling him something, but he also knew they weren't likely to. Finally he shrugged and turned back to the stairs. "Okay."

On the way to his room, Buck wondered about how peculiar everyone was acting. Just what was going on? And why had Mama told everyone she wanted to see him? She would have seen him anyway when he ate. He hadn't done anything lately that he should be in trouble for.

His curiosity got the best of him; despite what Jeanie had said about telling Mama he was back, Buck stopped by her room on the way to his own. He knocked but when he didn't hear a reply he pushed the door open and found the room empty. Shrugging, Buck shut the door and continued to his room. He supposed he'd have to wait for Jeanie to tell Mama he was back after all.

Once he was in his room, Buck took off his shirt and started to wash up. He had almost finished when he heard his mother's familiar knock. "Come in," he called as he pulled a clean undershirt on. She walked in and as soon as Buck saw her he knew something was wrong.

Before he could say anything Mama spoke. "Did you have fun last night?" she asked sitting on the side of his bed.

Buck nodded. "Yeah. What's wrong?" Mama didn't answer but held out her hand. Buck took it and let her pull him over to the bed. "What's wrong?" he asked again sitting beside her.

Mama held his hand in both of hers and looked at it a long moment before she sighed. "Buck, last night . . . there was a fight in the street last night, and John . . . John was shot."

Buck's heart sank and that knot that had been in his stomach before grew again. "Is he . . . "

"No!" Mama said, shaking her head. "No, he's alive, but it is serious. Doc wasn't sure he was going to make it through the night. He did, and that's good, but we're not sure what's going to happen now. He's still very sick."

Buck was too stunned to say anything. How could John have been shot? Stuff like that didn't happen to John. And what if he died? What would he do without John? Mama had said he was sick. "What-what happened?" he finally asked.

"We're not really sure. All we know is there was a fight, and John got caught in the middle of it. He-he hasn't been awake since he was brought in."

"Is he here?"

Mama nodded. "Yes. The doctor said he didn't need to be alone. It was just outside and since he has no family Rita said he could stay here. We've all been watching him since last night."

"Oh." There wasn't much else Buck could say. Knowing John was here, and knowing that he was so sick did explain why everyone had been acting strangely. And why Mama had wanted to see him. He just couldn't believe it. How could John have been shot?

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Mama asked rubbing his cheek.

No, Buck wasn't alright. He felt like crying and yelling and being sick all at the same time, but for some reason he couldn't do any of that, instead he just nodded. "Ca-can I see him?"

"Yes."

Mama's answer came without any hesitation and Buck was surprised she was that agreeable, but he wasn't going to question it. He jumped up. "Now?"

"Wouldn't you like to wait until . . . ."

"No. I wanna go now. Please."

Mama nodded and stood up as well. Wrapping her arm around him they started down the hallway. John was in the last room at the other end of the hall, one that had been empty for several weeks now. When they reached the door Mama stopped and turned toward him. "Buck?"

Buck had kept a tight hold on his mother since they had left his room, but he stepped back some now so he could look at her.

"He lost a lot of blood last night, and he hasn't woken up since Doc removed the bullets." Buck nodded. "What I mean is he looks sick. I want you to be prepared for it."

"Okay." The word was little more than a whisper.

Mama put her arm around him again and opened the door. Jeanie was the first person he saw. She was sitting by the bed and smiled some when she saw them. Buck tried to smile back, but it was hard, then he saw John. Inhaling sharply he tightened the grip he had around his mother. Mama had said John looked sick, but Buck still wasn't expecting what he saw. John was pale, his breathing shallow, and even though he was unconscious he looked like he was in pain; his brows were furrowed and beads of sweat stood out on his forehead.

"Are you okay?" Mama asked.

Buck could only nod. The tears he'd felt like shedding earlier started to burn behind his eyes and he buried his head against Mama's side.

Somehow Mama pulled him even closer. "I'm so sorry, Buck."

"Is he gonna die?"

"I-I don't know, it's still too early to tell. We certainly hope not, and we're doing all we can for him. Do you want to leave?"

"No, I wanna stay. Can I?"

"Of course you can."

Jeanie got up and moved away so the Wilmingtons could get closer to the bed. When she walked by she kissed Buck on the head and quietly left the room. Mama sat down in the chair and Buck sat down on the floor beside her.

"He can't die," he mumbled leaning his head over on her leg. "He just can't."

Buck heard his mother sigh before she started running her fingers through his hair. "It'll be alright, Buck," she said after a long moment. "We'll be alright."

* * *

Ida didn't go downstairs that night, and she and Buck remained by John's bedside. She hated that Buck had to see this. She had been with John almost constantly since he'd been brought in last night, and the sight of him, pale and helpless, still startled her at times. She had briefly wondered if Buck really needed to spend his time in the sickroom, but she couldn't bear to tell Buck he couldn't stay. John's wellbeing was just as important to him, perhaps more so, as it was to anyone else involved. And Buck was almost twelve, not really a child anymore.

Buck didn't seem to want to talk much and Ida was grateful; she wasn't sure what she should tell him. Doc had said this morning that John making it through the night was a good sign, but his condition was still grave. He had lost a lot of blood, and there was a big risk for infection developing in either one or both of his wounds. Doc wasn't willing to give them too much hope yet, and Ida didn't want to give Buck any false hope either. She didn't even want to imagine what they would do if the worst should happen. They would make it, they had made it nearly six years before John, but losing the man would shatter Buck's tender heart.

Around seven the doctor came by, Rita following him. Doctor Martin smiled when he saw the two keeping vigil. "How's the patient done today?"

Ida sighed. "There's not much difference. He still hasn't woken up."

Doc nodded. "That's probably for the best right now. He'll be in a lot of pain for a few days, the more he can sleep through the better." He went over to the bed and pulled back the blanket exposing the bandages around John's chest. One bullet had struck John just below his right shoulder; the other had hit him on the left side, jamming against his ribs.

Ida stood as Doctor Martin began to unwrap the bandages, and Buck followed suit. She watched Doc's actions intently, not even thinking about Buck seeing everything until Doc uncovered the two neatly stitched holes and Buck gasped audibly.

Doc and Ida both turned at the sound, and Doc addressed Ida. "Ida perhaps . . . ."

Ida nodded. "Buck let's go down and get you some supper."

Buck's eyes never left John. "I wanna stay."

Ida gently cupped his cheek and turned his face up. "Doc needs to work, and we'll only be in the way. We'll come back as soon as he's done."

Buck looked as though he wanted to argue, but said nothing. He merely glanced over at John and sighed before walking out of the room.

It wasn't until Ida was out of the room that she noticed how worn out she was. The last day had taken its toll on her, and Buck being back just added one more thing for her to worry about. She wasn't sure what to do about food, but she knew Buck needed something to eat. Truthfully she could use something too, but she was neither in the mood, nor she want to take the time to cook. Once they were in the kitchen she got a couple of sandwiches together for them, and they sat in the kitchen and ate in silence. Personally, she tasted nothing of the half she managed to eat. Buck offered no comment one way or the other about his, but she suspected his wasn't much different. Especially considering he hardly ate more than she did and Buck usually put away more food than Ida thought any child should be able to eat.

After what passed for supper, they went back upstairs. Rita was waiting in the hallway and Buck rushed up to her. "Is he any better?"

"No, sweetie, I'm afraid nothing's changed. But he's not any worse. Doc will be done soon and explain things."

Ida pulled Buck back next to her and the three waited in the hall for the doctor to finish up. It was only a few minutes later that the man opened the door. "You can come back in now."

"Any change?" Ida asked stepping back up to the bed.

"There's still no sign of infection; that's good. And as I said, it's better for him to be asleep right now. He did respond some while I was changing the bandage, and I'm hoping that means he'll be waking up soon. Just keep watching him, and let me know if he takes a turn for the worse. If I don't hear anything I'll be back tomorrow morning."

"Is he gonna die?" Buck asked.

The doctor smiled at the boy. "I don't believe so, Buck. He's strong and still young. As long as the infection stays away, I think he'll be fine."

"I'll show you out, Doc," Rita said as the man gathered up his things.

When the doctor and the madame had gone, Ida continued her vigil with Buck. They sat beside the bed until she noticed Buck starting to nod off. "I think it's time you went to bed," she said after Buck had jerked awake for the third time.

"I'm fine. I wanna stay here."

Ida stroked her son's cheek. "There's nothing you can do. You'd feel better sleeping in a bed."

"What if somethin' happens?"

"I don't think anything will, but I promise I'll come get you if it does. You can even sleep in my bed tonight if you want."

Buck looked like he was going to protest but any argument he had was cut off by a yawn. "You promise?" he asked knowing he could no longer claim he wasn't tired.

"Yes. If anything happens you'll be the first to know."

Standing Buck leaned over and gave Ida a hug. "I love you."

Ida held him tightly for a moment before kissing his head. "I love you too, baby. Things will look better in the morning." Buck only nodded and left.

When he walked out Ida got up and watched out the door until she saw him disappear into her room. She then looked towards the deputy. "It's always something, isn't it, John. Nothing goes smoothly for long." Sighing she sat back down and took John's hand in her own. "I knew this was always possible given your job, but I never imagined it would actually happen."

John made no move or gave any indication that he heard anything. She got back to her feet and walked over to the window. There wasn't much to see this time of night, but Ida gazed out of the window anyway. She was tired and she'd been in knots since she'd seen John brought in last night. It was a feeling she didn't understand. Of course she wanted the man to recover for Buck's sake, but was there something more than that? She had never thought there was, or even that it was possible, this was John after all, but after last night she was no longer sure.

She'd been in the role of hostess last night; something she had noticed was becoming more and more common lately, and something she wouldn't complain about. A fairly new client had just come in, and she was trying to get things settled.

_Ida gave __her_ _best smile to the young man who had just come in. "And what is your pleasure, Mr. Larson? Blonde, brunette, redhead?" _

_Nash Larson shrugged. "Anything darker than brunette?" _

_Ida's_ _smile grew; Clara perhaps. The girl was shapely, dark, and had a deceptively innocent look about her. "Clara. I believe . . . ." Ida was cut off __by_ _a ruckus in the street. She couldn't tell what was being said but there was definitely a heated argument going on. She scowled at the door; it was only Friday. Couldn't these men keep their fights until Saturdays? She looked back to Larson. "I believe Clara may be precisely what you're interested in." _

_The man opened his mouth but before he could reply a shot rang out. Normally Ida wouldn't have paid attention to a shot, but this one was quickly followed by four more, and they were right outside. Both she and Larson jumped and turned towards the door, and Rita came out of her office. Larson and Rita hurried outside and Ida got the terrible sinking feeling that something bad had just happened. She slowly began to walk towards the door but before she got there Rita came back in. Behind her were two men, Larson and someone else, and between them they were carrying the bleeding body of John Parker. _

_Ida gasped, her hand going to her mouth. She was too stunned to move and her mind refused to believe what she was seeing. She could only stare until Rita came over. _

"_Are you alright?" the madame asked. _

_Ida finally pulled her eyes away from the bleeding deputy to look at Rita. She nodded mutely._

"_He's alive, but I need to calm things down in the barroom. Can you show the boys __upstairs__? Put him in the empty room on the end. Doc's on his way."_

_Again Ida nodded. "Of course." _

_Silently and quickly she led the men upstairs and to the empty room. John moaned when they placed him on the bed, and the fog covering her mind cleared. Springing into action she gave instructions for making him more comfortable and getting his jacket off. She thought about removing his shirt, but decided to wait for Doc. Once the deputy was settled the man Ida didn't know tipped his hat and left. _

_Larson turned to do the same but paused at the door. "Who is he?"_

"_His name's John Parker. He's a deputy."_

"_And what else?"_

_She was still in a state shock as she faced the man. "Pardon?" _

"_The look you had on your face when we brought him in. He somethin' more than a deputy?" _

_She was taken aback by the question. She'd never let herself think about that before, and didn't have an answer ready. "He means a great deal to my son," she finally got out. _

_The man smiled slightly. "Well, the lady downstairs said the doc was on his way. I wish him the best."_

_Ida nodded. "Thank you. And thank you for the help."_

Ida sighed, bringing herself back to the present. With that last word Larson had tipped his hat and left, Ida had sunk into a chair, and that's where she had stayed until Jeanie had come for her this afternoon. And Larson's question had been with her ever since.

Ida went back to her seat and studied the deputy. Was John something more? She shook her head. No, what she'd said was true; her concern was only because he was a friend that meant the world to Buck. Wasn't it?

"John, I have something to say to you," she told the unconscious man. "I don't know if you know it or not, but Buck was here earlier. He's really worried about you." Tears started to fill her eyes. "You'd better not die, John Parker. You've never let him down before and you had better not start now. He needs you, and if you leave him now I'll never forgive you. Do you understand me, Mr. Par . . . ." A sob rose up in her throat and Ida clamped a hand over her mouth to try to stifle it. Her anger would have no effect on a man who couldn't hear her. Or could he hear her? Blinking back tears, Ida swallowed the lump in her throat and addressed the deputy again.

"Please, John. Fight this, and win. For him. And for me." She took his hand again, kissing it softly before wrapping both of hers around it. "Fight and live, for us."


	23. A Change for the Better

Tired as he was, Buck was unable to go to sleep when he lay down. Even being in Mama's bed didn't help. All he could think about was John, how sick he had looked, and how terrible everything would be if he died. Who would he go hunting with? Who would help him with Genevieve? Who would . . . who would be his pa? Ever since Del had made the comment about John acting like his pa Buck had started thinking that way. Of course, John wasn't really, but he was just as good, even better as far as Buck was concerned. His father had never been anything but a name; John was the one that had always been there for him, ever since the first day Buck had met him.

Buck curled up on his side and tried to remember what he and Mama had done before they'd met John. He couldn't remember what things had been like then. Oh, he remembered the day he'd been knocked down, the day John had taken him to the sheriff's office and fixed his hand, but he just couldn't really remember what it was like to not have John around. It was like John had always been there like he was supposed to be there. He didn't remember what it was like before John and the more he thought about it the more certain he was that he didn't want to find out what it was like. John couldn't die; Buck still needed him.

He thought about John being just down the hall, how pale he was, how ragged his breathing was at times, and those two neatly stitched bullet holes he'd seen before Mama had taken him downstairs. The memory of seeing those wounds made Buck grimace. How much did it hurt to get shot? What about having bullets taken out? Doc had said John would be in pain when he woke up and it was better for him to be unconscious right now. Well, maybe it was, but Buck wanted him to wake up. He didn't want John to hurt, but he wanted John to open his eyes and tell them he would be okay.

Buck felt the tears he'd been fighting all night burning behind his eyes again. Since there was no one around to see, Buck stopped trying to hold them back and let them fall. He didn't even care that he was almost twelve and too old to cry. He just wanted John to get better. John had to get better because Buck didn't know what he would do if the man died. Soon the tears became sobs and Buck did nothing to try and stop them. Burying his head in his mother's pillow, Buck cried himself to sleep.

The sun was coming up the next time Buck opened his eyes, slowing filling the room with light. He was still in the same curled up position he'd fallen asleep in and for a long time Buck simply lay in the bed, too worn out to do anything else. Mama had told him he would feel better with sleep, but he didn't. He felt just as tired and anxious as he had last night. Actually, he felt worse than he had the night before. Thanks to crying like a baby he now had a headache, and he'd spent so many hours curled in a knot he was stiff and achy when he finally stretched out.

It was Sunday today, and Sunday was usually the day Buck got to sleep late. No one at the Palace was up before noon on Sundays, and while Buck couldn't sleep that long he normally had no problem sleeping until well after sunrise. But today was no ordinary day, and it didn't matter that the sun was barely up, Buck had no interest in staying in bed today. The only thing he wanted this morning was to see John and find out how he was doing.

Rolling out of bed, Buck sighed and tried to rub the gritty feeling out of his eyes. Part of him was ready to run down to John's room just like he was now, but he knew Mama wouldn't like that. There was also a chance she'd send him back to his room to get dressed if he didn't take care of things now. Buck figured he might as well get it over with if he had to do it anyway. But besides all that, he had a feeling it would make Mama happy to see him washed up, and she had looked so sad last night Buck was willing to do most anything to make her happy. So he went over to the basin and washed up, attempted to comb his hair – it was getting long and hard to tame – and pulled on his clothes.

Once he was dressed, Buck slowly walked down to John's room. The closer he got to the room, the more jittery he felt, and he was confused by the feeling. He wanted to see John, desperately, but he was almost dreading it too. John . . . John didn't look like John anymore, and Buck didn't like seeing him that way. John had always been so strong and tough and capable, seeing him so sick and weak right now was disturbing. Still, seeing him like that was the only way Buck could see him, so he took a deep breath, and pushed the door to the sickroom open.

The first thing he saw was Mama bending over John's bed, and Buck felt his heart skip a beat. "What's wrong?" he asked terrified something had happened.

Mama jumped some but when she turned she smiled at him. "Nothing's wrong," she said sliding her arm around him when he moved over beside her. "I was trying to get him to drink something."

"Can he drink if he's not awake?"

"A little. It's important we try anyway."

"Is he any better?" John still looked pale, but not as pale as he'd been yesterday.

"I think he might be. He's been more restless the last few hours; I hope that means he may wake up soon. Maybe Doc will have some good news for us when he comes by later."

Buck nodded. He hoped so, he didn't know if he could stand another day like yesterday of just sitting quietly. But that's exactly what he planned on doing if he had to, and that's more or less what he did do. When Mama finished with John she went back to the chair, but this time, when she sat she shifted so she was sitting on her hip giving Buck room to sit with her, which he did gratefully.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" Buck asked once they were both settled in the chair.

"I hope so. He does seem to be doing better, and he doesn't have much of a fever as far I can tell."

They lapsed back into silence after that, and Buck found himself wondering about his mother's feelings towards John. Did Mama sort of think of John as his pa too? And how did she feel about John? Did she love him? He had thought about that a lot since Del had first said something about it, but he'd never said anything to Mama. He didn't say anything now either.

They sat there in silence for Buck didn't know how long, until the quiet of the room was broken by a soft knock on the door. Buck sat up straight hoping it was the doctor, but it was Rita that entered the room. She had a tray with two plates of breakfast and smiled. "I thought you two might be getting hungry."

"You're up early, aren't you?" Mama said.

Rita gave them a strange look. "It's almost eleven."

"Is it?" Mama sounded surprised and Buck didn't blame her. They'd done nothing but sit here far longer than Buck thought they had.

"Yes," Rita said. "And the two of you need to eat."

Buck wasn't sure about that. He wasn't hungry but he took the plate Rita offered and mumbled a 'thank you,' to the madam. Mama took the other one, but she immediately set it down and followed Rita back to the door. They began talking together quietly, about John, Buck soon heard. Realizing they weren't going to say anything he didn't already know Buck decided to give eating a shot. Like yesterday, the food didn't seem to have much taste, and after a few bites he gave up on trying to eat anymore. Sighing he put his fork down.

"What's wrong?" Mama asked. Buck looked up startled. He hadn't noticed when Rita left or when Mama had come back over. "Still not hungry?" Mama continued.

Buck shook his head, half afraid Mama would tell him to eat anyway.

Mama breathed a laugh. "I'm not either."

Buck glanced at her plate and saw that she had eaten even less than him. That almost got a smile out of him.

"How about if we try again later?"

Nodding, Buck took both plates and put them on the tray Rita had left. Before sitting back down, he went over to the bed and took a long look at the man lying in it. Mama was right; John did seem more restless today. And he couldn't be sure, but he thought the deputy looked a little more uncomfortable. He reached out a hand to touch the deputy, but quickly pulled it back. Buck didn't know why, but it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

He started to go back to the chair, but Mama stopped him before he sat down. "Why don't you go over to the livery and take care of the horses? I'm sure they're ready for breakfast even if we aren't."

Buck chewed on his lip a minute before glancing at the injured deputy again. "But what about, John?"

Mama took his hand. "Buck, whatever happens to John is going to happen whether you're here or not. Besides, you have an agreement with Mr. Sims. It shouldn't take you too long."

"But what if Doc comes while I'm gone?"

"I doubt he'll be here until after church, and he won't let you stay in here while he examines John anyway. If you run along and do it now I doubt you'll miss anything."

Buck cast another look at John before nodding. He did need to feed them. Genevieve would be ready to eat he knew, he was sure the others would be just as ready. "Okay. If you don't think anything will happen."

"I don't. Go on."

Things were quiet when Buck stepped outside. Fred was waiting for him and gave him a where-have-you-been-all-day look, but otherwise, Buck didn't see anyone or anything else stirring, and it remained that way as he walked to the livery. Being Sunday, all the stores were closed and most of the respectable folk were at church, even those that didn't attend Sunday service would likely keep inside until lunch, and the unrespectable folk was still sleeping off Saturday night. Buck didn't mind the quiet, though, he actually enjoyed it today. A dark cloud had been hanging over him ever since he'd learned of John's shooting, and he wasn't in the mood to talk today. About John or anything else. But, like always, stepping into the barn made him feel better. He was still worried, no doubt, but being around the horses and hearing their familiar nickering made the world seem a little less dark. When he saw Genevieve watching him expectantly he couldn't help but smile.

"Sorry, I'm late, girl," he said as he walked past her and patted her neck. "I'll have your food in a minute."

The horses knew what was coming and watched him intently, nickering and stomping around when they saw him measuring out the oats. "I'm coming," he called to the impatient animals. He quickly delivered the oats to the horses, intentionally saving Genevieve for last. She was getting some extra attention today, and after he poured out her morning ration, Buck got a brush and went into her stall.

It was peaceful here in the barn. The only sounds were the horses contentedly munching their oats, the swishing of their tails, and the occasional stomping of a hoof. They were sounds he enjoyed and he began brushing his mare feeling more relaxed than he had since coming home from camping. For now, everything was like it was supposed to be. Then he remembered John was the only reason he was here right now. If it wasn't for John he wouldn't have Genevieve, and if he didn't have Genevieve there would be no reason for him to work for Mr. Sims. If he wasn't working for Mr. Sims, he wouldn't be here this morning. Without warning, the tears threatened to come again. Determined he wouldn't cry again, Buck put his arms around the mare and leaned against her until the urge to cry passed. When it finally did, Buck straightened and rubbed Genevieve's neck.

"Sorry, Genevieve. I can't ride today. See, John's been shot and I gotta stay home and make sure he's gonna be alright."

The mare blew out a breath and went back to eating. Buck took that to mean she understood and gave her one last pat before leaving her to her food. Next, he went to Stony, who had also been watching him. "He's gonna be back soon, Stony," Buck told the gelding. "He-he has to be." He rubbed the gray a minute and again had to blink back tears. "See you later, boy," he said softly before leaving the barn.

Since it was getting close to noon, and time for people to start getting out and about, Buck took the alleys back to the Palace. He still wasn't in the mood to talk and figured he wasn't likely to run into anyone going the back way. All he wanted was to get back to the Palace and Mama and John, and he almost made it, but when he turned into the alley behind the Palace he saw a familiar figure leaning against the outside wall of the building.

"What are you doin' here?" he asked when he got closer to Del. His friend was one of the few people he probably could talk to now, but it was an odd place to find Del. Buck had never told anyone, but he understood his mother's work now; what she did, and what happened at the Palace. He also understood why Del's parents had never let him come to the Palace before.

Del straightened and kind of shrugged. "I heard about what happened. When church was over Ma said I could come see you."

"She did?" Buck couldn't remember Del ever having been allowed at the Palace, even to stand outside like he was now.

Del smiled slyly. "Well, I may have made it sound like I thought you would be at the livery."

Despite how gloomy he felt, Buck shared a smile with his friend. "I was until just a few minutes ago."

"Well, there you go." Del slid to the ground and once again leaned back onto the building. "So, how is he?"

Buck sat down next to him and began rubbing Fred. "I don't know. He's unconscious. Doc says that's probably good but . . . ." He had to fight those stupid tears again; he would not cry in front of Del. "He looks really bad, Del. Mama said he lost a lot of blood before Doc got finished with him."

"Yeah, but he's tough, Buck. I mean he's practically the sheriff and all."

Buck nodded. "I know but he . . . he's the only pa I got." Buck had never said that aloud before, but if he couldn't say it in front of Del he couldn't say it to anybody. Del was the one who pointed it out after all. "I mean, I know he's not really my pa, but he acts kinda like one."

"I know," was all Del said in reply and for several minutes they sat in silence neither one knowing what else to say.

It was Buck that finally broke the silence with a question. "Do you think it hurts to get shot?"

Del shrugged. "Don't know. Pa got shot once when he was younger, back before him and Ma got married. Just in the foot, though."

"Did he say how much it hurt?"

Del shook his head. "I never asked. He did say he couldn't walk for almost a week, but it still ain't really the same thing as what happened to John."

Buck had to agree. Maybe it did hurt to get shot in the foot, but it didn't sound like Hank Givens had been in danger of losing his life.

Del sighed and stood up. "I better get goin' fore Ma comes lookin' for me."

"Will you get in trouble if she finds out you came here?"

Del smiled again. "Nah, I didn't go inside." He suddenly looked sheepish. "I think she probably knew I's comin' here anyway."

Buck sort of chuckled at that. Mama always seemed to know things like that too.

"If uhhh, if anything happens . . . well, let me know, alright?"

Buck also stood up. "Yeah. Doc hasn't come today yet, but Mama thinks he might have good news. I hope so."

"Well, I see you later."

Buck nodded and when Del had walked off Buck looked down at his hound and scratched him behind the ears. "I gotta go check on John. I'll be out again later, okay."

The hound yawned and walked over to a patch of sunlight, where he flopped down with a grunt. Buck was sure the dog understood, just as Genevieve had.

Going back inside, Buck went upstairs, feeling not good, but better. For some reason, things didn't seem so gloomy now. He was still worried, and he just wanted John to wake up, but things didn't seem as terrible as they had a couple of hours ago. Maybe things were going to get better soon.

When he got up the stairs he saw Mama and Rita were both standing in the hallway outside of John's door. That must mean Doc was here already. Not caring that he would likely get in trouble for it, Buck ran down the hall, sliding to a stop just before he reached the women. He was expecting to be scolded by either one or both of them for running in the house but, Rita didn't say a word and when Mama looked at him she was smiling. Not that sad smile or the half-smile she'd been giving him since yesterday, but really smiling.

"What?" he asked breathlessly, hardly daring to hope Mama was going to say what he wanted her to.

"He's awake, baby," Mama said pulling him into a hug and holding him tightly. "He's awake. Just before Doc arrived, he opened his eyes."


	24. Something That Wasn't There Before

Ida couldn't remember the last time she'd been this happy. She'd sent Buck to the livery this morning not just to take care of his duties, but to get him out of the house. She understood his concern for John, but he'd been spending too much time at the man's bedside. She'd also hoped to be able to talk openly, even bluntly if needed, to the doctor about what John was likely facing.

She hadn't anticipated that John would awaken while Buck was gone, and if she had she might have kept him there. However, in hindsight, she was glad Buck had been away when John had opened his eyes. It was a good sign certainly, but John had been momentarily disoriented and in pain. Not really like the John Buck was used to seeing. She knew Buck understood John wasn't going to be quite himself for a while, but she was still glad that John was getting some time to come back to himself without Buck around. Especially since Buck was now bouncing on the balls of his feet eagerly waiting for Doc to let them back in the room.

"Did he say anything?"

Ida was sure Buck had asked her that at least twice already. "Not really."

Buck stopped bouncing. "What does that mean?"

Ida smiled and ran her fingers through her son's hair. "It means he didn't say anything that meant anything. He was disoriented at first, and then he wanted to know what happened. Then Doc came in and made us leave."

Buck slumped against the wall looking discouraged.

"He's going to need some time, Buck. He's lost a lot of blood and he's hurting."

"I know."

Ida wondered if Buck really did know. She knew Buck understood intellectually what had happened to John had been serious, but she wasn't sure he fully comprehended how long a recovery lay ahead of the deputy. "Buck . . . ." She was cut off by the door opening.

The doctor smiled at the group in the hallway. "You can come back in."

Ida put her arm around her son as they went back into the room. She could feel the tension in Buck, almost like he was afraid of what he was going to see. Ida understood; she was also curious as to how the deputy would look by this time. She hadn't been able to say much to him before the doctor had come in, and he'd looked tired then. She was sure Doc's examination had taken most if not all of the strength John had.

Despite what she had thought, Ida was pleasantly surprised when they saw John. Doc had propped him up some so he was no longer flat on his back. Even that small thing made John look move alive. His color had improved some too since Doc had arrived. His eyes still looked tired, and the tension lines on his face were proof that he was in pain, but he actually looked better than he had since Friday night. He even tried to smile when he saw her and Buck.

"How are you feeling, John?" Ida asked.

"Hurts." John's voice was scratchy and weak, but it had never sounded better to Ida. His gaze shifted to Buck. "How you doin', boy?"

"Better now." John's attempt to smile was apparently all Buck needed to reassure him the deputy was indeed better. Ida felt her son relax as he returned John's gesture.

"You gave us all quite a scare," Ida said putting her hand over John's.

"Sorry . . . 'bout that." He tried to smile again but the attempt was cut short by a grimace. A soft moan left him before his eyes drifted shut again.

"Are you ready to stop being so stubborn and take that laudanum now?" the doctor asked.

John opened his eyes – to Ida, the action appeared to have taken entirely too much effort – and sent the doctor a weak glare. The doctor glared back, his having far more effect than the deputy's. Ida got the impression this wasn't the first time laudanum had been mentioned.

"Fine," John finally agreed just before another grimace came to his face.

"It'll help won't it?" Buck asked looking between his mentor and the medical man.

"It'll help a great deal," the doctor replied. "However, some men are too stubborn for their own good, and would rather suffer than admit how bad they're hurting."

"Said I'd . . . take it," John protested weakly.

The doctor made a noncommittal grunt before administering the opioid. John grimaced again, but Ida couldn't tell if it was because of the taste of the drug or the pain from his wounds.

"He won't be awake much longer," The doctor said after getting his patient to cooperate with him. "But sleep's the best thing for him. I'd actually prefer him to stay that way as much as possible the next couple of days, especially since he's no longer unconscious. He needs time to heal, and that will be easier if he's not tryin' to move around and prove to you how "fine" he is."

"I'm . . . still 'ere," John mumbled and Ida could tell sleep was rapidly claiming him.

"Go to sleep," the doctor ordered in a disgruntled tone.

Ida smiled wishing she could have heard what had passed between the two men while she and Rita had been in the hallway. John had obviously been feeling well enough to at least attempt to be difficult.

It didn't matter what the man had been earlier, though, he was soon asleep. Ida was pleased to note that that the tension lines on his face were gone and his breathing seemed easier than it had the last couple of days.

"He looks comfortable," Buck said also having noticed John looked more at ease.

"It's the laudanum," the doctor said. "Even though he's been unconscious, his body has been feeling pain. This is probably the first time he hasn't been hurting for two days. He'll rest better now, and his body will heal better because of it."

"Soooo, he's gonna be okay?" Buck seemed a little apprehensive about asking the question.

The doctor smiled at Buck. "I think so. There's still no sign of infection, and he's awake. So long as he keeps still and takes the laudanum when he needs it for the next few days, he should be fine."

* * *

"Did it hurt?"

"What?"

"When you were shot. Did it hurt?" Buck had been dying to ask the question for the past few days, and this was the first chance he'd had to do it. He didn't think it was the kind of thing Mama would appreciate hearing so he'd kept it to himself until he was alone with the deputy.

The doctor had been right concerning his evaluation of John. The deputy was indeed fine and had made a lot of progress over the last two weeks. The doses of the despised laudanum had even tapered off to nothing, but he'd remained at the Palace for the same reason he'd been brought there to start with. He was in no condition to be alone yet, and he had no one to take care of him at the boarding house he kept a room in. As he was already at the brothel, Doc suggested he stay right where he was.

There was no shortage of volunteers to see to John at the Palace. He was well liked by all the girls and most of them considered it a pleasure to take a turn sitting with the man. Ida was his most frequent nurse, however, at her own insistence. Without question, she spent the most time in his room, and she was often the one who saw to his meals and the changing of his bandages.

Buck also did his time sitting with John. He didn't do much as far as the man's care went, but he was able to provide entertainment. Something that was appreciated once John started feeling better, but was still stuck in bed under the doctor's orders. It was during one such visit that Buck was finally able to ask the question that had been gnawing at him.

John leaned his head back seeming to think about the question. "When it happened, not really. Afterward, yes. It hurt a lot." Even as he spoke he lifted his hand and rubbed the wound on his chest.

"What did it feel like?"

"Well, I honestly don't remember much about the night it happened, but it kinda stung at first then it burned. After I woke up it just hurt. It hurt to move, hurt to breathe, hurt to talk."

Buck grimaced remembering how John had sounded the day he woke up, and how much it looked like he was hurting. When he added that to what John had just told him he was pretty sure he didn't want to experience what getting shot felt like. "I'm glad you didn't die."

John laughed, an action that pulled at his still healing wound. Grimacing he tried to rub the discomfort away. "You know what, Buck? So am I."

"Hey, John."

"Yeah?"

Buck hesitated, studying the deputy. John had his head back against the headboard and his eyes were closed as he rubbed his chest. He wondered if he really needed to say what he wanted to. Maybe John wasn't ready. Maybe he never would be ready.

John finally lifted his head back up. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I was just thinkin'."

"'Bout what?"

Buck chewed on his lip and then plowed ahead. "John."

"Yes, Buck."

"I-I . . . ." Buck flushed and dropped his eyes.

"Buck, what's wrong?"

Buck's gaze came back up. "Nothin'. I was just thinkin' about tellin' you somethin'."

"Well, tell me," John said with a smile. "I know you're not in trouble. You ain't been outside enough lately to have done anything."

Buck sort of smiled, too. "No, I ain't in trouble."

"So what is it?"

"I, well, I . . . I love you."

All the amusement left John's eyes. Buck felt his cheeks begin to redden; maybe he shouldn't have said it. He was about to apologize when John spoke.

"I love you too, Buck."

"Really?"

John reached out and pushed Buck's hair back before his hand came to rest on the back of Buck's head. "Yes, really. I'd never lie to you, Buck. I'm sure not gonna lie about that."

"I know you're not my pa, but I like to think you kinda are. Is that all right?"

John nodded and cleared his throat before answering. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."

Hearing an affirmation, Buck lit up with a grin. It was what he'd wanted to hear but hardly dared to hope he would. Maybe he didn't know who his real pa was, but as long as John didn't mind kind of acting like one, Buck didn't really care if he knew his real pa or not.

John cleared his throat again. "You know, you've been spending a lot of time in here lately. Why do you go out and play with Del and Fred for a while."

Buck started to jump up but stopped. "You sure you don't need me?"

"Go on. I'll be fine until you get back."

"Okay," Buck ran to the door. "See you later."

* * *

As soon as Buck left, John dropped his head against the bed's headboard. He was relieved Buck was gone. Not that he wanted Buck to leave, he just wanted a few minutes to think about what the boy had just told him. Hearing Buck say he loved him was nice, and while it had been unexpected, it hadn't really surprised him. They'd been around each other for so long and had gotten so close John had sort of taken that for granted. The second declaration had been a surprise, and it had been a struggle to keep Buck from seeing the tears that had filled his eyes.

John may have felt something paternal for Buck for some time, but he'd never mentioned it. There hadn't been any sense in trying to explain something like that to Buck. John was sure it wouldn't have done anything but confuse the boy. Still, he'd be lying to say it hadn't done something to him when Buck had said the words. He'd once told Hank Givens he'd claim Buck in a heartbeat if he could, and that was truer now than it had ever been. If there was any way Buck could be his son, John would do it.

Ida came to mind then. There was a way, John thought, and he dispelled the idea as quickly as it came. It had been several days since he'd had any kind of fever, but maybe his brain was still a little foggy from it, or maybe the pain. Either way, it had to be something, because the notion that had just come to mind was ridiculous. Ida had never done anything to indicate she saw him as anything more than a friend, and that's exactly how he saw her. Wasn't it? That's what he'd always told himself anyway.

Ida was a beautiful woman, there was no denying that. Her lifestyle had aged her some, and there was sort of world-weariness that he often saw in her eyes, but she was beautiful. The hardships she'd undoubtedly seen in her life couldn't totally erase her natural beauty, nor could they hide the goodness he'd seen in her heart or the obvious love she had for her son.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock and the lady in question was suddenly in his room. "I saw Buck leave. Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I sent him out to play. He's been inside too much lately."

Ida smiled, a beautiful sight in itself, and John couldn't ignore the odd twisting he felt in his gut. "We want you back in top form as soon as possible."

"So do I," John said trying to forget how radiant that smile had been. "There's probably paperwork piled to the ceiling back in the office by now."

Ida chuckled and again John felt that strange fluttering. _Get a grip, Parker. It's Ida_. Yes, it was Ida. Ida who had been by his side since this whole ordeal began. Ida who had taken care of him more than anyone else. Ida who he had wanted to take care of him. Ida, Buck's mother.

"Ready to change the bandages?"

It took John a little longer than it should have to process the question, but if Ida noticed she didn't say anything. "Sure. Might as well get it over it."

Another laugh came from Ida as she sat on the bed beside him. Having had lots of practice over the last several days, Ida began to deftly remove the wrappings from around his chest. Once the wrapping was gone, she gently pulled the bandages off his two wounds. She studied the two places and when she ran her fingers around the stitches on his side, John felt a jolt like lighting go through him.

"Did that hurt?"

"What?"

"You jumped. Did I hurt you?"

"No." John offered no other explanation. It was hard to explain something he didn't understand himself, and he wasn't sure why he had flinched back. He hadn't even realized he'd done it.

Ida made no other mention of it and started to apply clean bandages, then she began to wrap his chest again. The action put her close to John, closer than he'd ever realized, and as she leaned forward slightly to take the bandage around his back, he kissed her.

He didn't know why he did it, only that she was there and so close to him. He couldn't do anything but kiss her. It was light, soft, fleeting, but Ida jerked back from it.

Her blue eyes were wide as she stared at him. "What . . . what was that for?"

John smiled and sort of shrugged. "Let's call it a thank you."

"For what?"

"For taking such good care of me, for keeping me alive, for . . . for just because." He reached up and cupped his hand around Ida's neck. "Just because," he muttered again as he pulled her closer.

Ida didn't resist. She willingly leaned in and returned the kiss, and John was certain in that moment things were perfect. If he'd never seen this woman as anything but a friend, he'd been a fool. He didn't intend to continue acting like a fool.

When the kiss ended Ida smiled. "John," she said stroking his cheek with one hand. "We . . . ." That was as far as she got before she stiffened and pulled back. "We should get those bandages back on."

"Ida . . . ."

"Please, John. Not now."

John leaned back, bewildered, both at what had just happened and Ida's reaction. "All right. Continue, Nurse Wilmington." He gave her a smile. "I'll behave."

Ida's look was something he couldn't quite identify. It was a cross between annoyed, confused, and amused. "John . . . ."

"It's fine, Ida. Really." John wasn't sure what had just happened, and he wasn't sure how Ida felt about it. What he was sure of was how he felt. He'd let it go for now, for Ida, but if he had anything to say about it, they would continue this discussion.


	25. The Fairer Sex

**A/N: I'm almost ashamed to post this it's been so long since I've updated. Shortly after the last update, the mental well went dry, and I couldn't get anything out concerning this story. But, I'm hoping I'm over that hump and humbly present this latest offering to you.**

The weeks passed and John slowly regained his strength. True to his word, John had behaved and said nothing about the kiss he and Ida had shared. She hadn't said anything about it either, which was disappointing. He didn't want to forget the moment they had shared, and Ida seemed bound and determined to do just that. Quite frankly John didn't see the point in forgetting about it. As far as he was concerned, there was absolutely nothing to keep them from acting on any feelings they might have. The only reason he could see for Ida to not mention what had happened was if she didn't feel the same way he did, but even that didn't make sense to him. Given Ida's profession she shouldn't have been rattled by something as simple as a kiss unless she did feel something, and if she felt the same thing he did, why was she trying to act like nothing had happened?

The whole thing had been an enigma to John since the day it happened, and he was almost glad when he was able to return to his own room. Almost. Going back to his own place did mean seeing far less of Ida, and frankly, he'd grown to like seeing her every day. Still, it wasn't as though he could be sorry he was getting better. That's what he told himself as he was getting ready to make the trip back to the boarding house anyway.

He was packing up what few things he had when Ida came in. "Almost ready to go?"

He smiled, wishing he could do something to dispel the aloof tone Ida's voice always seemed to carry now. "Almost."

"I can't say I hate to see you go considering what brought you here."

John chuckled. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

She didn't say anything for a long minute then she sighed. "I think we need to talk, John."

"All right." Taking her hand, he led her to the bed. She cautiously sat down, him taking the spot beside her. "Talk."

"Please stop looking at me like that."

John blinked, he was unaware he'd been looking at her anyway. "What way?"

"Like you . . . never mind." An awkward silence settled between them. "I need to apologize to you," she finally said.

John scoffed. "For what? Saving my life?"

"For kissing you."

He'd known the kiss had bothered Ida, but he hadn't been expecting that. He almost laughed. "I'm not an innocent young girl, Ida. I have been kissed before."

"But not by me."

"Ida . . . ."

"I think I gave you the wrong impression."

"Just what impression did you give me?"

"You enjoyed it." It sounded almost like an accusation.

"Yes, I did. Can you tell me you didn't?"

"I shouldn't have," Ida said hotly before she jumped up.

John also stood and grabbed her arm. "Why?"

"Because nothing good can come of it."

"You have a reason for thinking that."

Ida sighed. "Do you have a reason to think differently? You're the law in this town, John. You have a very public job and you're respected. I'm a prostitute; a whore."

"You're not a whore," John shot back, not realizing how the name would grate on him.

"Yes, John," Ida stated calmly. "I am. There are better names, but prettying it up doesn't change facts."

"The mayor has a very public job too, and I don't think there's anyone who doesn't know about the time he spends with Maggie."

"That's different."

"Is it?"

"Yes. Maggie . . . Maggie's paid for what she does. Is that what you want?"

"No," he snapped, insulted Ida would even suggest that.

She smiled kind of sadly. "I didn't think so. That's the difference, John. Maybe if you were in here looking for a whore we could do whatever you wanted. But you're not, and we can't have it any other way. I'm sorry." She turned to leave.

"You know how ridiculous that sounds?"

Ida faced him. "It's not ridiculous at all."

John sighed. "Ida . . . ."

"John, we can't."

"Just tell me one thing." John took a step closer. "If there would be no consequences, no ramifications, how would you feel then?"

Ida looked away sharply. "That's not fair. We both know there would be, so talking about it is moot."

"How would you feel?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Answer the question."

Ida closed her eyes. "John, please. Please let's forget about it."

John had his answer, although not exactly the one he wanted. Ida did feel something, she had to, but it was unlikely that she would choose to act on it. He could see her point. Hadn't he always tried to keep a low profile at the Palace before because of the very reason Ida had just stated? He supposed his realizing he cared for Ida hadn't changed the situation too much, just how he felt about it.

"I'm sorry," he offered now feeling a little guilty about how he'd pushed her.

Ida reached up and touched his cheek sending that jolt through him again. "It's better this way."

"Even if it's not what we want?" He couldn't resist trying one more time to get Ida to admit her feelings.

"Even if it's not what we want."

The admission didn't bring the satisfaction John was hoping for. Instead, he felt a pang of disappointment. "I guess I need to be gettin' on back then."

"That would probably be best. I should get back downstairs too."

John briefly considered kissing Ida before she left, but he again behaved himself and let her walk out of the door. He didn't see another kiss doing anything but making this worse, but this wasn't the end. John cared about Ida, he cared about her son. He wouldn't let it end here.

* * *

The day John left the Palace to go back to his own room, Buck went down to the creek to meet Del. He hadn't seen much of Del since John had been shot, and Buck had missed running around with his friend. He didn't regret having spent so much time with John while he was healing, but there was very little summer left and Buck planned on spending as much of it as he could with Del.

Buck got a knot in his stomach whenever he thought of going back to school, and it wasn't a case of just not wanting to go back this year. He had no small amount of anxiety concerning his new teacher. He hadn't heard a word about who would be taking Mr. Harper's place, or what kind of a man he was. To make things even worse, this would be the last year he would be at school with Del, providing Del passed his exam in the spring, that is, but there was no reason to think he wouldn't.

Buck was skipping stones when he saw Del coming and tried to push all thoughts of school out of his mind. He wasn't going to have to go school today, and he and Del had a whole year together before he had to worry about Del leaving.

"Guess what I just found out?" Del asked before Buck had a chance to say anything.

"What?"

Del jumped off Red and tied the horse by Genevieve. When he faced Buck there was a big grin on his face. "Last night I heard Pa talkin' 'bout the new teacher."

Buck stopped what he was doing and gave all his attention to Del. "What he'd say?" He didn't want to think about school when he was alone, but he had to hear what Del had found out.

Del's grin grew. "He said she's coming out from Illinois."

"She's coming?" Buck's eyes widened. "It's a woman?"

"Yep."

Buck stared in disbelief. "A woman teacher?" Buck had never had a woman for a teacher before. Would that be better or worse than the teachers he'd had before?

"That's what he said. Her name's Miss Borden and she'll be coming in next week."

Buck blew out a breath and sat on the bank of the creek. "What kind of teacher do you think a woman will be?"

Del shrugged and sat down beside him. "I don't know. She can't be any worse than Mr. Harper, right?"

Buck smiled thinking about the man and how much trouble he and Del had gotten in while Harper had been teaching. "I guess not. I hope not. Is that all he said?"

"Yeah. He saw me then and stopped talkin'." Del almost looked ashamed. Almost.

"A woman. I didn't even know they let women be teachers."

Del shrugged. "I guess they do."

"Well, come on," Buck said jumping up and tugging on Del. "I'm tired of talkin' about school. Let's go for a swim."

* * *

As the days went by, news of the new teacher spread and pretty soon the entire town had heard of the young woman who would be teaching when school began again. Buck and Del, particularly Del, had tried to pick up more information about her, but they hadn't been able to find out much. She was coming from Illinois and this was to be her first teaching job, but they still didn't know much beyond that, and neither boy had seen her, but Miss Borden remained a favorite topic of conversation for them. Del loved to speculate about what she would look like, but Buck was more concerned with how interesting she would be.

The last Saturday before school was to start the boys were outside the livery enjoying as much of their last real day off as they could. They had been talking about fishing and horses but when there was a lull in the conversation things began to drift back to the teacher.

"I asked Ma what she looked like last night," Del said. "She didn't say much though except she's young."

"What do you think young means?" Buck already knew there was a big difference in what he thought was young and what Mama thought was young. Mama called Lisa young, but at nineteen Buck thought she was kind of old.

Del just shrugged.

"Didn't your pa see her when she came in?"

"Yeah, but he didn't say much about it either. Monday ought to be interesting, though."

Buck looked over and noticed Del had a big grin on his face. In Buck's opinion, Del was far too happy about the start of school. But if Buck was starting his last year of school, he supposed he would be happy about it too. He wasn't starting his last year, though, and Buck just couldn't be as excited as Del, even if he was curious about Miss Borden.

Talk of the mysterious Miss Borden was interrupted when Becky walked up. "Hi, Buck. Hi, Del," she said sitting down on Del's other side.

Buck returned the greeting, but Del immediately began questioning the girl about his new favorite topic, Miss Borden. It turned out Becky didn't know any more than they did.

"Ain't your pa on the town council?" he asked, disappointed Becky couldn't add anything to their gossip.

"Yours is too," she replied. "Hasn't he said anything?"

"Nothing you don't already know."

"Maybe they don't want us to know," Buck said.

Both Del and Becky looked at him, and Del had a strange look on his face. "Why wouldn't they want us to know?" he asked.

"I don't know, but why's it such a secret?"

"Dadgum," Del muttered. "What do you thinks wrong with her?"

"Why would there be something wrong with her?" Becky asked.

"Cause Buck's right. Why else wouldn't they tell us?"

"And why would a lady from Illinois want to come here?" Buck added.

"Maybe they don't think it's any of our business."

Buck scoffed. "It's our teacher. Why wouldn't it be our business?"

"Maybe she's a criminal runnin' from the law. Or maybe she's hidin' from somebody else; somebody that's tryin' to kill her or somethin'. Or maybe she's deformed and couldn't get a job anywhere else." Del's eyes were now shining and Buck had to admit, this conversation did make the teacher more interesting. Becky didn't share that opinion, however. She was looking between the two of them in disbelief.

"Maybe she's a hunchback," Buck said wondering why he and Del hadn't thought of any of this sooner.

"I think the two of you are being ridiculous," Becky broke in. "And I think you're both going to feel really silly come Monday."

Del shrugged. "Maybe, or maybe not. They haven't told us a lot."

"So that means she's a hunchback?" Becky rolled her eyes. "I'm going to see Julia." She got up and started down the street muttering something about boys.

Buck and Del watched her go before Buck looked at his friend. "You really believe all that? That she's a criminal or a hunchback?"

"Nah, probably not," he admitted. "But it would make things interesting."

Buck laughed.

"Ma said you could come over for supper tonight," Del said. "You want to go for a ride before?"

"Sure." Buck was always ready for a ride, and they might as well enjoy their last full free day.

* * *

Monday morning Buck was waiting for Del at the edge of town and they made the rest of the walk to school together. When they arrived, they went over to what had become their tree over the years and sat down to wait for the bell. They were making small talk when Becky came up with another girl.

"Did you and Buck come up with any more ridiculous ideas about Miss Borden?" she asked.

"No, but that don't mean we're wrong," Del replied.

Del and Becky continued to talk but Buck's attention was on the girl who had come up with Becky. He was puzzled by the girl. Del hadn't asked about her, and Becky hadn't said anything about her, but Buck had never seen her before. He hadn't heard of anyone new moving to town, but he was sure he would have remembered seeing her before. She was . . . well, pretty. He couldn't remember ever thinking a girl was pretty before, but he couldn't think of any other word. Auburn curls were tied back in a blue ribbon, and the ribbon looked like it was the same color as her eyes. And very light freckles were spread across her nose.

He was watching her wondering why none of the other girls in town looked like her. If they did he might like girls as much as Del did. She suddenly turned to look at him and smiled. The smile brought on an odd flipping sensation in the pit of his stomach, something Buck had never felt before. He liked it and hated it at the same time.

"Hi, Buck," she said.

Buck started. How did she know his name? His stomach did that flip again and this time, his felt his face flushing too. "Hi," he mumbled hoping no one had noticed his red cheeks. His hopes were dashed when he heard Becky and her new friend giggling. That only made the flush worse.

He kept his eyes glued to the ground until he heard the girls walk away. When he was sure they were gone he finally dared to look up and found Del watching him with a smirk on his face.

"Who was that?" he asked trying to act nonchalant and praying Del wouldn't say anything about his face turning red.

"What do you mean who was that? It's Julia."

"Julia?" Buck's voice cracked unexpectedly and that blasted flush came back.

That stupid grin of Del's grew and he pronounced the name slowly. "Julia. Morgan."

Buck looked over to where the girls were standing. If that was Julia, what had happened to her? He didn't remember her being that tall, and she definitely hadn't had those curls that last time he'd seen her. And had her eyes always been blue? Most importantly why did he care?

"What's the matter, Buck?" Del asked nudging his arm. "You're acting like you've never seen her before."

"Shut up," Buck snapped wondering if his face would ever go back to its normal color. He shook his head trying to clear it of the peculiar and somewhat disturbing thoughts. He had bigger things to worry about then Julia. Things like dealing with a new teacher and making it through the day.

He found his eyes going back over to where the girls were, and unfortunately they saw him. They both started to giggle again, and then he felt Del nudge him. Aggravated at getting caught Buck dropped his eyes again and promised himself he wouldn't look at Julia again today. He was spared anymore embarrassment by the bell ringing, and for the first time that he could remember, Buck was glad to be going to school. Whatever he was going to find inside with Miss Borden and new lessons couldn't be as bad as what he'd just been through.

**Historical note: Back during this time in U.S., most schools only went through what would now be considered the 8th grade. While this doesn't seem like much by today's standards, they actually received a full, well-rounded in this amount of time, and an exit exam, a challenging exam, had to be passed in order to actually "graduate." After they were out of school, children would start learning how to be adults. A boy like Del would begin working with his father so he could take over the farm one day, this would also by the case if the family owned some type of store, they also might start an apprenticeship with someone to learn a trade. Girls, meanwhile, would usually learn how to run a household and begin preparing for marriage. Any higher formal education would have been was usually for professions like doctors, lawyers, etc... **


End file.
